new here, separating from my addict
 

I came to my last straw. I had many more straws left than I thought but after 5 yrs of living through relapse after relapse of my dh we are splitting. I realize I cannot live this life anymore and it saddens me. It mostly saddens me when our 5 yr old asks when Daddy is coming home. We told her last night that he was going to have a new house now and she took it so very well. Today she is a bit sad at times and asks when daddy is coming home. I breaks our hearts. I have lost my best friend to crack. Sometimes I think how much easier it would be to just give him another shot. Knowing what I know now I also like many others have said on here would not have married him in the first place. He started using right before out daughter was born. We had a beautiful 3 yrs together and even times after the use. I am sad. How do you break away from the only best friend that you have? I have my parents but I don't have any other close friends. I'm going to have to try to support us. I don't know how. I am a receptionist. That doesn't make much money to support a house. I love my house and I want to keep it. He is willing to help me and I am so thankful for that but I know I'm going to need to be on my own at some point. I can't believe I'm getting a divorce.

Awww, sweetie, (((Hugs))) to you tonight. Welcome to Sober Recovery, but I am sorry for why you are here. You HAVE, however, found a great place for a support system with very knowledgeable members and loving arms. I have learned a great deal here since I first found SR (my son is my recovering addicted family member), and I hope that you take the time to read the posts and the stickies above. You sound strong in your stance for divorce, for which I applaud you. It's not easy giving up the dream of marriage, I know. I am also divorced from my ex-alcoholic husband. Take good care of YOU for a time, and your little daughter.

I too recently separated from my AH .. the man I build my world around. After 13 years of broken promises, lies and emtional manipulation, I decided I needed to break free before it swallowed me up and I lost what little bit of SELF I have left. I don't have any children (blessing) but it still is the hardest thing I ever went through and couldn't imagine having to support a little one mentally and finacially when you are going through so much. As peachtree said... This is a wonderful place with tons of wisdom and huge arms for support... Had I not found SR I may still be living the dark days of hell without the hopes of seeing light ... There is hope ... We deserve better ...

Stay strong, take care of YOU and your little one and keep coming back here and reading and posting ... You will get through this .

Love and hugs,

oopps peaceteach ... not peachtree ........... it's been a loooooooooooooong weekend ...

Lost my marriage to cocaine/crack cocaine.
It was and still is one of the hardest things for me to deal with but like you...it was necessary for my own survival. I've been officially divorced for almost a year now but he's been out of the house for much longer.
Somehow we do make it through...give yourself time to heal and keep focusing on you and your recovery from living life with an addict. There is much to recover from.
Believe me...you do eventually get to a better place.