mrssez

AH and i had a big fight tonight, he came home out of control. left soon after he got here and then went to his parents after he had some time to cool down... told his mum about the drugs... then came home alot calmer but still upset, we talked a little bit and now he has packed work clothes for tomorrow and gone to spend the night at his parents...... i feel so alone....
why has he left me when if anyone I should be the one leaving ?
he says he needs time apart from me to realise what he could be losing....

im really upset i dont know what to do..there is nothing really i can do...

i am trying to stay strong by thinking maybe this is his rock bottom... tonight he said he would start going to meetings.

i think he has taken 2 big steps tonight by telling his mum and saying he will start going to na meetings but im so alone.... this isnt fair

BayAreaPhoenix

(((((((hugs))))))

Sounds like big steps for your AH. I am sending prayers that this is his rock bottom for you both.

Now, it's time for you! He's making a plan for him and what he needs to do, what are you going to do for you? Use this time to reclaim and find yourself. It might be hard at first, but keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Do you like walking? How about a new book? Dinner with friends? Painting? Gardening? Shopping for new shoes? (Dev and Ann are dialed in to some really fashionable shoe-shopping sites!)

Remember, you can't do this for him - but you can do for yourself!

Ann

I'm sorry you're hurting, it's awful watching someone we love spiral out of control.

It's so hard to predict what an active addict will do, but unless the find recovery and work hard to maintain it, life with them remains a roller coaster ride.

Something that helped many of us here was meetings, Alanon, Naranon and CoDA are three terrific programs that have helped us find our balance again and learn to live our lives in a healthy, happy way...regardless of how our addicts are doing.

Maybe check out your area and try a few. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain...and you're worth it.

Sending hugs because you sound like you could use some.

greeteachday

Add my hugs I hope yuou were able to get some sleep and the new day is brighter. I know it is sad and lonely, but you are right...he made some great strides. It always helps me to focus on the positive and be grateful. it is hard to stay sad and lonely focusing on good. Hugs

mrssez

thanks for your replies

he ended up coming home after i had fallen asleep which i couldn't decide whether it was a good thing or bad....
in any case he asked me today where are NA meetings in our area and said he is going to go coz obviously he needs more help.

so this is good.. i also have an appointment with a counselor on Monday so i hope this will help me. Id really like to go to a naranon meeting however i think the closest one is about 45 mins away at 7.30 at night. I may attempt it but i would like to call first and need to find the number as i don't want to drive up there for nothing!

baby steps i guess, some may hurt like last night but it was a step in the right direction so u keep going hey

Ann

I hope things work out better for you and for him too.

As he finds his meetings, maybe they can tell him where an active Naranon meeting might be.

Sending prayers that this all leads to a better path for both of you.

Hugs

mrssez

update... Hubby is going to a NA meeting tomorrow i feel this is great am feeling more hopeful today.