obsessed

Friday evening I was at work and Lauren walked in out of the blue, I was shocked but she looked good, she was dressed and had make up on. She asked about the car, I told her it was totaled and I know it is her own fault but I felt sorry for her for a minute!! I did not give her any money. She said she came by to let me know she is ok, said she was not doimg drugs and I really wish I could believe that but doubt it very seriously. I told her she needed to stop all of this, come home and get a job. She said she was thinking about it. I wish it would be that simple but I know its not!! She does not have a cell phone anymore and I hate that!! I don't even know what state she is in at this point and I guess I am having a weak day!!

CatsPajamas

Hugs. You were given a glimpse of her.

And you were given a reminder of your recovery in action. Detachment with love doesn't mean you don't love her. It just means you aren't still in the front row of the drama.

Hugs
Cats

BigSis

I used to just pretend my kid was off to another rehab... it helped keep me out of the darkest pits of obsession, and she really was on an educational experience of sorts... there was a place she HAD to get to before she would be ready for any recovery, and me getting in the way only seemed to slow the progress.

Meetings helped keep me sane... and still do.

marle

Appearances can be tricky so be careful when you think that all addicts must look like an addict. I know that I can get myself into some real places in my head when I try to figure out if my daughter is using or not by the way she looks. Most addicts look the worst when they are hurting for their drug and fine when they have a steady supply. I know that my daughter cleans up really nicely when she wants to. I spent about 7 months one time feeling guilty about holding my daughter at arm's length when she was swearing to God she was not using. I later found out that she was using everyday. Let's just say that Lauren is not using right now. Is she in any kind of program and is she staying away from the people, places, and things? If not then she is probably trying to butter you up to get something from you in the future and what better way to do that than to tap into your motherly guilt. Stay strong because each time that you step in and help Lauren you are getting in the way of her HP. Hugs, Marle

marle

A really good book that helped me to detach from my daughter is "Don't Let Your Kids Kill You" by Charles Rubin. It is a good read and one that may help you too. Hugs, Marle

cece

(((Obsessed)))
I am glad you received a " good moment" from Lauren.

sometimes in all of this we have to remember to take what little relief from the worry we can get, and see it as a gift for the moment.

When we are given glimpses of the person we know our children can be without drugs, its okay to embrace that.

sometimes when my son seemed "normal" ( whatever that means!) It would give me hope for a while that things were changing.
And then, as soon as I saw the addictive behavior resurfacing it would send me into a depression because the "hope" I felt, was crushed by another moment.
Now I just take those good moments as little gifts from above to us mama's, and I enjoy them for the moment.
But I then try to remember not to let them pull me back into my old behavior of taking a moment good or bad, and then writing the future with it.
I am trying to learn to enjoy what is good in my son when it's there!
Cathy

Done_With_It

Could have very well been God's/Higher Powers way of protecting her.


The first time I got clean the reason I got help was because I got my ass thrown
in the back of a police car, and I thought I was going to jail. Fear/Major events
have a way of showing us reality. Ironic thing is that day or the day before I was
sitting at my desk asking or praying to God, if you think I have a problem give me a sign, because I honestly do not know.
The cop had a long talk with me instead of jail....

Events are good eye openers...

She is alive, she didn't kill anyone else, becareful about feeling sorry for her,
because she 'Will' sense pick up on that and use it for all she can. I did it when I could also, meth addicts I know love to be the victims.

Your doing great Obsessed. I'm glad you got to see her..

Chino

She walks in and brings you joy and pain all at the same time. Love sure is hard sometimes. My daughter ignores her phone all the time, straight or wasted. She hasn't called once since she's been in rehab and I admit to a moment of panic this past week. All the what ifs ran through my mind at lightning speed and then I told myself to stop it. I gave myself the worst possible scenario then asked myself, what will you do? The answer was, I'll survive it.

You're going to keep making your way through these moments, I just know it. After all, look at all the other moments you've made it through

Prayers for your serenity.