just found out tonight he's been cheating.
 

sure he said he wanted a divorce but he also said we wouldn't go thru with it for a year. tonight I checked our credit card and saw he spent $1300 on a room at the four season. I decided to call him and asked him who he was with.
It's a girl from work. I am crushed. Rehab knew, his therapist knew, and his brother knew. I am speechless and physically sick.

(((Offhegoes))),


I'm sorry you have been bombarded with so much anguish and disappointment. Almost like this is a man you don't even know. Perhaps this new information will help you in the start of taking care of YOU and getting your focus there, too. Saying a prayer for you this weekend, Off. Nobody deserves to be put through so much, sweetie. Stop reaching out to him if you can. It's apparent he is heading down a course that won't include you, and perhaps this is new information will help you to accept that choice.

I can't remember; are you seeing a counselor of your own? You need to take very good care of yourself now, Off. Take proactive steps toward self-care. Make that your new mission. Turn the rest over to your HP and to his.

(((((offhegoes)))))

I am so sorry that you are hurting so much. I am sure there are better days ahead for you. Just walk it out you will get thru it.

forgot to mention this is my anniversary weekend.

(((Off)))

I'm so sorry, sweetie. This just sucks. Peaceteach is right though...time to take care of you. You don't deserve any of this and I wish I could take your pain away.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

I'm so sorry you are hurting, sending hugs and hope that your life will be better again one day soon.

We're here and we care.

Hugs

((Off))

I swear, I don't know what it is about breaking this kind of news around the anniverary, mine did the same thing. It hurts bad enough, but then it feels like an extra little slap. Little heck, it's a Huge extra slap.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could take some of the pain away for you, but I know I can't. You will get through this. I promise. It's going to take some time though. Right now, you are probably still in a state of shock, and feel like someone doubled you over with a blow to the gut, bouncing between anger and hurt and betrayel.

Hang in there girl, know that we love you and we care.

Hugs and Prayers
B

((((offhegoes))))

Sorry for the pain he's put you in with this new information. What others said is important: keep the focus on you, as hard as that might be right now. The pain WILL diminish over time, and you can begin to look towards to your future.....a future that can be whatever you want it to be........If it helps, I know you are a caring, loving person who did not deserve this, sending hugs and good thoughts you way. --Rica

((((offhegoes)))) I'm so sorry you are hurting...it just stinks. I have no words of wisdom, just know we care and be extra special gentle with yourself okay? Find something fun to do with people who care instead of dwelling on what a rat he is. Many hugs

OMG what a dawg! That totally sucks and you don't deserve that one bit.

Keep this in mind, it is NOT your fault. It's all his, 100%. He's a pharmasict right? He's liscenced & he may lose it over this or at very best have to downgrade because he won't be allowed narcotic access.

Wonder if the lil girltoy knows exactly what kind of baggage she is getting into? She's in for some fun no?

Sometimes getting good & pissed serves a good purpose in carrying you through the initial days. I've been there.

Focus on you as much as you can, I know it's hard right now.

I hate drugs, they destroy families.

Keep your chin up doll, & remember you are not to blame.

Teggie

she knows...she's his employee. a 21yr old girl (he's 29)

Off,

I hate that you are going through this. That is quite a blow and especially on your anniversary weekend. I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel but that doesn't help right now. In the long run, the gift that he has given you is the awareness that he is a skunk as well as having an addiction problem. The pain is acute but in the long run it will help you to move on away from him. Many addicts have other addictions going on concurrently and he might be using sex to numb and avoid his issues. I don't know if that is what he is doing but no matter what it's a message to focus on you and taking as good of care of yourself as you can.

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you.

Off,

My heart breaks for you --- I just found out something similar about the addict in my life and it was devastating, but have faith in yourself and your strength to get through this. I hate to use this cliche, but everything does happen for a reason. It's just hard to figure out that reason while so emotionally raw.

And, I am a firm believer in karma - and it sounds like your husband will be due for a hefty dose of "what goes around, comes around".

I pray for you and am so sorry about what you're going through. Lean on your friends, your faith, and keep on posting.

Take care of yourself.

Sweetheart, I am so sorry. God, I've been in your shoes, where all these people around me knew and nobody told me. They just left me hanging out there.

It's terrible what he did to you. There is no excuse. People who go outside the marriage before it's over, I just don't get it. The pained ones they leave behind. I doubt either cares, that's the thing. She doesn't care about the pain that you're feeling and he obviously doesn't.

:ghug2

They deserve one another. Period. You will see that someday and be so thankful that you didn't stay with him.

I was engaged (not married,) to a man who cheated on me with one of my friends. He was a cruel man. Had I stayed with him, I probably would have ended up dead by suicide or sheer mental anguish. He was a sexual deviant. He was a compulsive liar.

He's now married to that woman. And I thank God every that that I didn't end up with him. I met another man and had a beautiful baby and every time I look at her, I thank God again.

Good riddance to men (and women) like that. They have no heart, or soul.

Sorry that you're going thru this, but it might be the beginning of a new and better life for you.

Sometimes I need a smack upside the head with a 2x4 to see the reality in front of me... and then I can take actions necessary to take care of myself.

Please take care of you.

Id be more than a little pissed too...just remember, the universe balances itself...always...You just keep yourself honest, you wont have to do the stinking amends thing when this is over...

I am so sorry that you have to go through this nightmare. Just try to stay true to yourself.
Remember, that which does not kill us, will only make us stronger....

It is hard to believe it now, but you will gain strength from this.

Hugs,
Colleen

man i would be upset especially if everyone else knew about it and didnt tell me!! well isnt the new girl lucky to take on your set of problems??? dont worry , i t wont last, maybe she uses also? or he wants to take on another victim somone who doesnt know whats going on, so they can feel sorry for him and continue his using? either way it doesnt matter, what comes around goes around, now you have to ask yourself if your ready to miove on and let this gf take over for you with all of his issues? very nice of her dont you think? oh yea this girl thinks she will be the one to change him?? sound familier to any of us?? lol, sometimes things are a blessing in disguise? maybe this is suppose to happen? thier is a bigger plan here working that we dont know about? i would send her a thank you card for being so kind as to take all your troubles away and to take on all this crap... seriously hun, im sorry for what you are going through and the disrespect he is showing you...but you need to focus on you and let him deal with this,,he will be trying to get back in your good graces after he finds out you have moved on with out him...good luck sweetie.

(((Off)))

Use this, as was advised above, to focus on you and take care of you!


I'm so sorry for your pain. You have been getting this all thrown at you all at once and I know it's not easy even one at a time!

:ghug2