could you stay married to a felon?

Old 06-07-2008, 06:55 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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sorry, didnt read the last one. so your wondering about the lifestyle of living with someone who is a felon? If he does what he needs to do he will be out from under it eventually right? But what if he doesn't take care of it. You could start thinking about your options? Which at this point it probably seems like there aren't many but there are. and you will find them in time. even if he does deal with it it's going to take some time to get back on track. I know this probably doesn't really help...sorry..hang in there.
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Old 06-07-2008, 06:59 PM
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there has been a saying on this website for a long time when in doubt about what to do, do nothing. It will come to you later exactly what to do.
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Old 06-07-2008, 08:44 PM
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To answer your original question: I stepped back at one point in my life and looked at the relationship I was living in. A life with a man who was addicted to alcohol and drugs, emotionally unstable, stole, manipulated me, was verbally abusive, spent half his life on the computer, didn't help support the household, and eventually had a criminal record and bankruptcy.

Did I stay? No. It took a while for my value system to kick in and point out that I wasn't living in anything like the marriage I'd signed up for. I loved him but did not respect him any longer, and I realized that the only chance I had for stability and love was to move beyond him.

I eventually found myself in a relationship with a man who was honest, financially & emotionally stable, loyal, protective of me, and loving.

That's just me. Since you asked.
Your situation may be quite different, but trust your gut instincts. I ignored mine for soooo long.
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Old 06-07-2008, 09:28 PM
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Thisisnot, I know that on many job applications, they ask if you have a felony. It does effect that. I'm sorry about that (for you and how this effects you.) I don't know how that works if you check the "yes" box on applications, though. Maybe it depends on the crime? Maybe someone else here knows.

More important, though, how are you doing?
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Old 06-08-2008, 08:34 AM
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Dear Thisisnot, I can't tell you the kind of man I picked at age 18 to be the father of my children. After 10yrs of a bk & forth relationship I ended it. He was a compulsive gambler. I am now 61 & there is nothing anyone can do to change the past. Just do the best you can from now on in.
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Old 06-08-2008, 09:15 AM
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He was arrested on felony charges. He has not been to court yet? A first offense they may very well plea bargain to something other than a felony. If he stays clean he may get the charge expunged.

A convicted felony charge is not the end of the world. Goodness, lawyers have them, drs., politicians-all walks of life. If he seeks a job requiring bonding such as a bank-he will probably have a problem.

Just take one day at a time. What is done is done.
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Old 06-08-2008, 09:24 AM
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momsrainbow- he goes to court this week and is hoping to plea it down. Do you know how long before you can have it expunged??
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Old 06-08-2008, 10:02 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I don't know if it's the same in all states, but I asked if I could get my charge expunged. My PO told me that once the case has gone to the grand jury, it could not be expunged. He still may get what I have, which is a "first offender". It's not a felony unless he messes up. He can legally say he is not a convicted felon with this charge. My problem is, they put it on my criminal background record as a felony and I've had to have a lawyer, who is trying to straighten it out.

The problem I've had, is most job applications ask "have you ever been convicted of a crime, other than misdeamenor" and I'm honest. You never know if they will do a background check.

It makes it harder to get some jobs, but there are still plenty of jobs out there.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

I
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