just curious...
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
There is no time line of how long it takes or should take.
Each addict/alcoholic is different.
I know people who have worked them rather quickly and others it can take a year, two years . . . just depends on the person.
One Day at A Time,
Judy
Each addict/alcoholic is different.
I know people who have worked them rather quickly and others it can take a year, two years . . . just depends on the person.
One Day at A Time,
Judy
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
I will always be working on a step. Always and forever. I have learned so much and have grown so much as a result of the Al Anon program. I've been doing it for 14 years now.
My ex tried doing 12 steps in about 8 days. To say it was a disaster is an understatement. He wanted to rush right thru to the end to see what it was all about. He had no idea what he was doing, and he caused more pain and drama as a result.
Working the steps is for some is a transformation. For many it becomes a new and better way of life.
Hope this helps
Cats
My ex tried doing 12 steps in about 8 days. To say it was a disaster is an understatement. He wanted to rush right thru to the end to see what it was all about. He had no idea what he was doing, and he caused more pain and drama as a result.
Working the steps is for some is a transformation. For many it becomes a new and better way of life.
Hope this helps
Cats
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
In my working the steps and in and watching my father get sober/recover - I believe you never stop working the steps actually!!
I am always very very suspicious of addicts/ alcoholics who think there is some kind of graduation from the 12th step! They like to talk about which step they are on - as if once they get to 12 they will no longer be addicts/alcoholics. That simply isn't true. It takes time to truly work each step...different amounts for everybody - but it isn't quick!! And I know for myself, I have worked that 1st step about a zillion times in the 15+ years since I first found AlAnon!!
Peace,
B.
I am always very very suspicious of addicts/ alcoholics who think there is some kind of graduation from the 12th step! They like to talk about which step they are on - as if once they get to 12 they will no longer be addicts/alcoholics. That simply isn't true. It takes time to truly work each step...different amounts for everybody - but it isn't quick!! And I know for myself, I have worked that 1st step about a zillion times in the 15+ years since I first found AlAnon!!
Peace,
B.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
As an old timer once told me "there is no place in those 12 steps where it says 'Congratulations, you have graduated, now get the hell out of here'."
This is a lifelong practice and a change of lifestyle.
This is a lifelong practice and a change of lifestyle.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I start them over ea. yr. One per month.
The 1st time through it was an intellectual exercise that I rushed through by myself.
Second time through I worked them with another person in a meaningful way, and my life changed.
I have never had an addiction so I didn't understand how they applied to me, at first.
then I stopped intellectualizing them, and just did.You can't be concerned how long it takes someone else, only how much you are willing to do.
The 1st time through it was an intellectual exercise that I rushed through by myself.
Second time through I worked them with another person in a meaningful way, and my life changed.
I have never had an addiction so I didn't understand how they applied to me, at first.
then I stopped intellectualizing them, and just did.You can't be concerned how long it takes someone else, only how much you are willing to do.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
I heard a story about someone who asked their sponsor that question, and the sponsor replied:
"You lie really still, because you're dead!"
The steps, for me, are a lifelong program, incorporated into my daily life.
"You lie really still, because you're dead!"
The steps, for me, are a lifelong program, incorporated into my daily life.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
I have been doing the 12 steps since the end of January and I'm still on step one, sometimes I think I'm ready to move to step 2 but then I find myself in a crazy and unmanageable life and I go right back to step one.. I'm thinking this is where I will stay for a while 
When I first found out about the 12 steps, I figured I could zip right through them in a few months and then I would be ok and it would be ny AH who would still have the problem. Boy did I have a rude awakening! I just redid step one with some questions that I had answered from the step study on this forum the other day. I compared my answers to what I wrote back in January and it was eye opening. Without even realizing it I have grown so much. My answeres in January were all about AH and his addiction. My answers on Monday were all about me and how I have made my life crazy and unmanageable.
The 12 steps work but it's not a quick fix. I think this is my HP's way of teaching me patiance, which I seem to have none of.
When I first found out about the 12 steps, I figured I could zip right through them in a few months and then I would be ok and it would be ny AH who would still have the problem. Boy did I have a rude awakening! I just redid step one with some questions that I had answered from the step study on this forum the other day. I compared my answers to what I wrote back in January and it was eye opening. Without even realizing it I have grown so much. My answeres in January were all about AH and his addiction. My answers on Monday were all about me and how I have made my life crazy and unmanageable.
The 12 steps work but it's not a quick fix. I think this is my HP's way of teaching me patiance, which I seem to have none of.
Last edited by jerect; 05-21-2008 at 05:48 AM. Reason: cause I can't spell worth a flip :)
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
have been doing the 12 steps since the end of January and I'm still on step one, sometimes I think I'm ready to move to step 2 but then I find myself in a crazy and unmanageable life and I go right back to step one.. I'm thinking this is where I will stay for a while
I can tell when I'm NOT working the steps... my attendance at meetings starts to back off. That's when my world seems to be a little "off"... people start getting on my nerves, they start doing really dumb stuff and I want to get back into their lives to straighten them all out. LOL. I now know that it's not THEM ~ it's me.
Hugs
Cats
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
in my experience it takes however long it takes. I'm always in a step - always. And just them all everyday. The first time that I did the steps it took me a year to go through them. But I really spent a long time on each one of them. On the other hand, my RAH is almost 3 years sober and is still on step 8. Some people never finish them - or begin them. Anytime that I've wondered how long someone else should be taking to do the steps I've noticed that I need to return to my own steps....
Early in recovery, it was too easy for me to focus on what RAH was doing (or not). I found that the only thing that helped me was to focus on my recovery. The pay off has been huge - I need it more now than I every have.
Early in recovery, it was too easy for me to focus on what RAH was doing (or not). I found that the only thing that helped me was to focus on my recovery. The pay off has been huge - I need it more now than I every have.
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