Sure could use a friend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: on top of the hill
Posts: 197
Sure could use a friend
Hi guys,
Things have gotten pretty bad lately. I found out in my state there is no grounds to divorce a drug addict. A drunk, yes, but apparently nothing about drugs. My ah spent all he had and lost his business, so now there is only my very small income and no health insurance, etc, etc, but I still have a big mortgage and a whole pile of tax bills.
My lawyer told me it was going to cost a LOT of money to divorce. But you know what the saddest thing of all is? I still love my ah. This is a man who has lived with his agf for over 4 years, why do I still have feelings for this man. He has nothing to do with my sons, he last saw my daughter for less than 5 minutes to ask her if he could leave his trash at her house for pick up. I can't accept this is the man he has become, and can't accept that the one he was is gone.
I saw him today, now that he has no where to be, he comes and hangs out at a barn on a piece of land we own. I walk my dog there everyday, and it is so unsettling to see him. Things are disappearing. He doesn't see why he needs to ask before he just decides to take something. It's all just so bizarre, after all this time I just don't get it.
He also told me his parents are supporting him, helping him any way they can. Sorry, I don't get this either.
I'm torn between sticking it out to see what happens or just moving away. I do not want to leave my kids though, They have already had enough.
I guess it's just a pity party, sometimes it all gets so overwhelming, and it's still so hard to see him. In some ways I envy him, he has a girl friend ( who is in rehab ) and other friends all the time. It's the lonliness that gets me the most.
Things have gotten pretty bad lately. I found out in my state there is no grounds to divorce a drug addict. A drunk, yes, but apparently nothing about drugs. My ah spent all he had and lost his business, so now there is only my very small income and no health insurance, etc, etc, but I still have a big mortgage and a whole pile of tax bills.
My lawyer told me it was going to cost a LOT of money to divorce. But you know what the saddest thing of all is? I still love my ah. This is a man who has lived with his agf for over 4 years, why do I still have feelings for this man. He has nothing to do with my sons, he last saw my daughter for less than 5 minutes to ask her if he could leave his trash at her house for pick up. I can't accept this is the man he has become, and can't accept that the one he was is gone.
I saw him today, now that he has no where to be, he comes and hangs out at a barn on a piece of land we own. I walk my dog there everyday, and it is so unsettling to see him. Things are disappearing. He doesn't see why he needs to ask before he just decides to take something. It's all just so bizarre, after all this time I just don't get it.
He also told me his parents are supporting him, helping him any way they can. Sorry, I don't get this either.
I'm torn between sticking it out to see what happens or just moving away. I do not want to leave my kids though, They have already had enough.
I guess it's just a pity party, sometimes it all gets so overwhelming, and it's still so hard to see him. In some ways I envy him, he has a girl friend ( who is in rehab ) and other friends all the time. It's the lonliness that gets me the most.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
(((mjpaao)))
hey girl-
well what else do you have goin' on for yourself??
it makes me sad to hear you say you haven't accepted that the reality is what it is. That may be holding you back a little.
You're envious that he has a gf in REHAB. Are you serious!!??
Try to surround yourself with positive people! Do you have any outlet in your community to volunteer or join a club or something?
You sound so blue! I know how the money woes can add to that...but remember that is just material stuff- it will ultimately work out slowly, slowly, and you will survive!
Take a deep breath - say to yourself "The past is gone. I am free in this moment."
Now what do you want?
Sending you prayers & positive vibes for better days!
Peace,
B.
hey girl-
well what else do you have goin' on for yourself??
it makes me sad to hear you say you haven't accepted that the reality is what it is. That may be holding you back a little.
You're envious that he has a gf in REHAB. Are you serious!!??
Try to surround yourself with positive people! Do you have any outlet in your community to volunteer or join a club or something?
You sound so blue! I know how the money woes can add to that...but remember that is just material stuff- it will ultimately work out slowly, slowly, and you will survive!
Take a deep breath - say to yourself "The past is gone. I am free in this moment."
Now what do you want?
Sending you prayers & positive vibes for better days!
Peace,
B.
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