alrighty then...more lies
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
Thank you all - I have decided to NOT pay his card debts. We just don't have the $ and the fact that he will have to eventually face 8+ people to pay them back and face the humiliation is something that he needs. I feel so humiliated, but this will make him feel even more humiliated to approach all 9 people.
I'm still spinning and trying to find my legs to get this all together. This is completely NEW territory to me this time, because for once I finally understand just how bad addiction can be - how they can lie without even stuttering. Lie about stupid things like getting the mail, turning up the heat, making an appt, erasing a msg etc.
Even through it all, I"m still finding it so hard to let go because I hate to let him fall. Everything we've worked so hard for - just gone for him. I know, Let go and Let God.
I'm still spinning and trying to find my legs to get this all together. This is completely NEW territory to me this time, because for once I finally understand just how bad addiction can be - how they can lie without even stuttering. Lie about stupid things like getting the mail, turning up the heat, making an appt, erasing a msg etc.
Even through it all, I"m still finding it so hard to let go because I hate to let him fall. Everything we've worked so hard for - just gone for him. I know, Let go and Let God.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Callie)))
Good, I'm glad you're not going to pay his debts. There's absolutely no reason to feel humiliated...every one knows this is HIS doing!
I know it's hard to let him fall, but I promise you it's what he needs. Everyone one of us, who are recovering, had to fall. We got angry, pitched a fit, then when we were forced to face reality (because no one was covering for us), we sought recovery.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Good, I'm glad you're not going to pay his debts. There's absolutely no reason to feel humiliated...every one knows this is HIS doing!
I know it's hard to let him fall, but I promise you it's what he needs. Everyone one of us, who are recovering, had to fall. We got angry, pitched a fit, then when we were forced to face reality (because no one was covering for us), we sought recovery.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 123
there is no shame or humiliation in looking out for yourself and children, those other bookies or whatever you call them should be feeling guilty for doing what they do, besides this may be the best lesson he has to face, without you taking care of it..
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 932
BILL OF RIGHTS:
1. You have the right to know what is expected of you.
2. You have the right to determine your own behavior, thoughts and emotions and to take responsibility for their initiation and consequences.
3. You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify your behavior.
4. You have the right to decide whether you are responsible for finding solutions to other people's problems.
5. You have the right to change your mind.
6. You have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
7. YOu have the right to say "I don't know".
8. You have the right to be consulted in decisions that affect you.
9. You have the right to say "I don't understand".
10. You have the right to say "I don't care".
11. You have the right to refuse unreasonable requests.
12. You have the right NOT TO FEEL GUILTY.
This was given to me by My IC and I have it posted on my wall. I thought about it when you were talking about changing your mind about paying the bills after you commited yourself.
1. You have the right to know what is expected of you.
2. You have the right to determine your own behavior, thoughts and emotions and to take responsibility for their initiation and consequences.
3. You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify your behavior.
4. You have the right to decide whether you are responsible for finding solutions to other people's problems.
5. You have the right to change your mind.
6. You have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
7. YOu have the right to say "I don't know".
8. You have the right to be consulted in decisions that affect you.
9. You have the right to say "I don't understand".
10. You have the right to say "I don't care".
11. You have the right to refuse unreasonable requests.
12. You have the right NOT TO FEEL GUILTY.
This was given to me by My IC and I have it posted on my wall. I thought about it when you were talking about changing your mind about paying the bills after you commited yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 26
Hi,
I know, it's a big shock. They all lie, and do it so well...that it takes a while for the truth to come out.
I also totally understand the shame. I've been with ah for 15 years. I spent at least 10 years in total shame. I still have alot of shame, but it doesn't control my life.
It's not easy and has taken me years to understand...really understand...that this is a family disease. Their addiction affects the whole family.
Hugs,
dd
I know, it's a big shock. They all lie, and do it so well...that it takes a while for the truth to come out.
I also totally understand the shame. I've been with ah for 15 years. I spent at least 10 years in total shame. I still have alot of shame, but it doesn't control my life.
It's not easy and has taken me years to understand...really understand...that this is a family disease. Their addiction affects the whole family.
Hugs,
dd
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
--Oops, bumped the wrong thread - sorry
well what a day, I am exhausted. Emotionally, physically I am just spent. AH still says percocet. He was suppose to go into to talk to ADMIN about his job. Administration AND a company dr. are looking at this. AH says he was pulled off the line and had someone physically supervise his urine test. Supposedly the urine wasn't sent in on time, complications etc. AH goes to his meeting today and the Dr. and ADMIN say that it's inconclusive. They said his urine is missing creatinine (??). I have NO clue what that means, but AH is telling me that they're saying the test is a "substitute"?
By this I mean something as in he stuck a fake p*&is in his pants and pushed out "artificial pee?" AH swears this did not happen. But his company says that unless he can prove that he has a kidney problem which would cause him to not create creatinine in his urine that they would deem it as "artificial urine" and will most likely be fired. This story sounds completely ridiculous. I know that, but does anyone know ANYTHING about ANY of this?? I KNOW AH would do the fake pe&*s thing, but I don't know that he would have had the time to "prepare for that." As I said before he'd JUST gotten drugs - he says he "felt and saw xyz manager looking/watching him." So he didn't take them then.
Also, AH has extreme street smarts. He can wiggle his way out of almost any of this. He HAS already thought about the fact that he did have an rx for percocet 1.5 years ago. He's already said he could call his Dr. and have him write it in his report that AH takes leftover perc's for migraines. Obviously from "MY" standpoint I don't care HOW he gets out of this, right or wrong, I just want him TO get out of this. I'm talking about a decent amt of child support, great insurance for my kids. I'm desperate and right or wrong I don't want him to take down my kids and I monetarily for his own problems.
Also, I went and told my parents today. It was such a bad thing - I couldn't stop shaking, couldn't get my thoughts together. Not trying to sound like a total snot here, but my parents are pillars of society. Drugs are NOT from my family. We have no divorces, go to church regularly, are completely law abiding citizens ect. I HAD to tell them because I didn't want them to hear this (about AH's job) from someone on the street. I held it in as long as I could to protect him, but it became that I had to protect them. I imagined them being asked by someone at a social setting and them having no clue.
I did tell them - their faces just dropped - lots of tears later they stand behind me - but yet I can tell that they have a fear of letting him fall too. They see the same good in him that I've seen. I don't really have the time or energy to go into that right now, but it was terrible telling them.
Any suggestions as to wth is going on with the creatnine missing from the urine? You guys have been more helpful in determining AH's thinking than what I could come up with. Also, I feel bad about posting on the SA board when I really should be on the FFSA board. Thank you so much for your help. I told my parents this too - you guys have been such lifesavers. Without you telling me the ins and outs he would have pulled the wool over my eyes so fast it's not funny.
Right now I am just a mess. I feel like I'm going to pass out because I haven't eaten one thing in the past 2 days, but I feel like if I do, I'll puke. A great diet I suppose to lose those "unwanted" 10 lbs that I've packed on during the last year of crap. I've never looked or felt worse in my life.
well what a day, I am exhausted. Emotionally, physically I am just spent. AH still says percocet. He was suppose to go into to talk to ADMIN about his job. Administration AND a company dr. are looking at this. AH says he was pulled off the line and had someone physically supervise his urine test. Supposedly the urine wasn't sent in on time, complications etc. AH goes to his meeting today and the Dr. and ADMIN say that it's inconclusive. They said his urine is missing creatinine (??). I have NO clue what that means, but AH is telling me that they're saying the test is a "substitute"?
By this I mean something as in he stuck a fake p*&is in his pants and pushed out "artificial pee?" AH swears this did not happen. But his company says that unless he can prove that he has a kidney problem which would cause him to not create creatinine in his urine that they would deem it as "artificial urine" and will most likely be fired. This story sounds completely ridiculous. I know that, but does anyone know ANYTHING about ANY of this?? I KNOW AH would do the fake pe&*s thing, but I don't know that he would have had the time to "prepare for that." As I said before he'd JUST gotten drugs - he says he "felt and saw xyz manager looking/watching him." So he didn't take them then.
Also, AH has extreme street smarts. He can wiggle his way out of almost any of this. He HAS already thought about the fact that he did have an rx for percocet 1.5 years ago. He's already said he could call his Dr. and have him write it in his report that AH takes leftover perc's for migraines. Obviously from "MY" standpoint I don't care HOW he gets out of this, right or wrong, I just want him TO get out of this. I'm talking about a decent amt of child support, great insurance for my kids. I'm desperate and right or wrong I don't want him to take down my kids and I monetarily for his own problems.
Also, I went and told my parents today. It was such a bad thing - I couldn't stop shaking, couldn't get my thoughts together. Not trying to sound like a total snot here, but my parents are pillars of society. Drugs are NOT from my family. We have no divorces, go to church regularly, are completely law abiding citizens ect. I HAD to tell them because I didn't want them to hear this (about AH's job) from someone on the street. I held it in as long as I could to protect him, but it became that I had to protect them. I imagined them being asked by someone at a social setting and them having no clue.
I did tell them - their faces just dropped - lots of tears later they stand behind me - but yet I can tell that they have a fear of letting him fall too. They see the same good in him that I've seen. I don't really have the time or energy to go into that right now, but it was terrible telling them.
Any suggestions as to wth is going on with the creatnine missing from the urine? You guys have been more helpful in determining AH's thinking than what I could come up with. Also, I feel bad about posting on the SA board when I really should be on the FFSA board. Thank you so much for your help. I told my parents this too - you guys have been such lifesavers. Without you telling me the ins and outs he would have pulled the wool over my eyes so fast it's not funny.
Right now I am just a mess. I feel like I'm going to pass out because I haven't eaten one thing in the past 2 days, but I feel like if I do, I'll puke. A great diet I suppose to lose those "unwanted" 10 lbs that I've packed on during the last year of crap. I've never looked or felt worse in my life.
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
(((Callie)))
Big hugs to you...
Your parents sound very supportive of you, and that's a great thing, I'm glad you told them.
Just remember, you own NONE of this, it's all his to deal with.
If he has a zero creatinine, then he has superhuman kidneys.
Hugs to you, sweetie...
Big hugs to you...
Your parents sound very supportive of you, and that's a great thing, I'm glad you told them.
Just remember, you own NONE of this, it's all his to deal with.
If he has a zero creatinine, then he has superhuman kidneys.
Hugs to you, sweetie...
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Callie)) - I'm glad you told your parents and they are supportive.
As far as the creatinine? Ya gotta let that go, sweetie. I know you depend on his income, but this is what happens with addiction. Chances are, even if he gets out of this and keeps his job, they are going to be watching him very closely and will find another reason to fire him soon. I'm not saying that WILL happen, but there's a good chance.
He's been in denial about addiction, he's trying to figure ways to get out of trouble for being caught. I've been there and done that. I just got another job and got worse, because I wasn't ready to quit.
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, but you really do have to start taking care of you...no one else can or should do that.
Honestly? I would count on nothing from him in the way of money. If he continues on the downward spiral of addiction, he's not going to have any. Yes, you deserve child support and your children to be insured, but if he continues to use and gamble, there isn't going to be any money. My niece is almost 15. Her dad has never paid one cent in child support (he's an addict), even when he had a job. We could go after him legally, but considering he's in jail (again) there's not much point. When he is out and does work, he does it "under the table".
Take care of you, sweetie. He's in trouble and he's still trying to find a way to manipulate his bosses to get his way. Chances are, if he said "I have a problem" and asked for help, they may actually help him and he could keep his job....a lot of companies are willing to help those willing to help themselves, especially if they're a good employee.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
As far as the creatinine? Ya gotta let that go, sweetie. I know you depend on his income, but this is what happens with addiction. Chances are, even if he gets out of this and keeps his job, they are going to be watching him very closely and will find another reason to fire him soon. I'm not saying that WILL happen, but there's a good chance.
He's been in denial about addiction, he's trying to figure ways to get out of trouble for being caught. I've been there and done that. I just got another job and got worse, because I wasn't ready to quit.
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, but you really do have to start taking care of you...no one else can or should do that.
Honestly? I would count on nothing from him in the way of money. If he continues on the downward spiral of addiction, he's not going to have any. Yes, you deserve child support and your children to be insured, but if he continues to use and gamble, there isn't going to be any money. My niece is almost 15. Her dad has never paid one cent in child support (he's an addict), even when he had a job. We could go after him legally, but considering he's in jail (again) there's not much point. When he is out and does work, he does it "under the table".
Take care of you, sweetie. He's in trouble and he's still trying to find a way to manipulate his bosses to get his way. Chances are, if he said "I have a problem" and asked for help, they may actually help him and he could keep his job....a lot of companies are willing to help those willing to help themselves, especially if they're a good employee.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Callie ---
A couple of thoughts went through my mind when I was reading your last post here (#29).....; I'm not sure I'll be able to get them across to you, but I'll give it a go, so to speak..... But before I do that, let me just say that I am sooooo saddened that you are going through all this; we addicts, when we're in the depths of our addictions, we just don't give a ^@!@#% about anybody else but us.....sad but thru.....
Now....to my thoughts about your most recent predicament (?)...I researched 'createnine' and 'urine drug test' on Wikipedia; now, I may have a good three-digit IQ, but I just couldn't make any sense as to the connection...with eachother, or any connection to what your AH is talking about (sorry bout ending that sentence with a preposition.....hehehe, just bein silly here). You may want to check out these for yourself on Wikipedia's site (they're a dot org site) just search the items I did (above in the single quotes).....I wish you luck.
A synopsis of what went through my mind as to what I'm getting from what your AH has been saying.....? I get the feeling that SOMETHING has ALREADY happened at work, and AH is creating all this meshugenah (sp?) crap [&@#$&*(*&^%$] so that when the end (and I believe it may very well be an end of some sort; sorry) does come, he'll have all this 'stuff' to fall back on.....like to be able to say 'not my fault' 'they were out to get me' 'it's all bs' ..... or whatever other 'lie' he may use.....and since you've been indundated thoroughly lately with all this #$%^&, you might just be on his side (at least this may be what AH is thinking/hoping)........?
I just went back and reread what I've written, and I'm not sure that even I understand it.....lol....whether it makes any sense or it's just my conspiracy theorist self flashing out; I just don't know.....sorry.....
One thing I'm pretty sure of, Callie, you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers (both you and your AH, and all involverd), but please Callie, be prepared (for what, I just don't know), but I definitely feel something is coming down the pike, and I don't think it's gonna be a bed of roses..... (o:
Stay strong.....!
NoelleR
A couple of thoughts went through my mind when I was reading your last post here (#29).....; I'm not sure I'll be able to get them across to you, but I'll give it a go, so to speak..... But before I do that, let me just say that I am sooooo saddened that you are going through all this; we addicts, when we're in the depths of our addictions, we just don't give a ^@!@#% about anybody else but us.....sad but thru.....
Now....to my thoughts about your most recent predicament (?)...I researched 'createnine' and 'urine drug test' on Wikipedia; now, I may have a good three-digit IQ, but I just couldn't make any sense as to the connection...with eachother, or any connection to what your AH is talking about (sorry bout ending that sentence with a preposition.....hehehe, just bein silly here). You may want to check out these for yourself on Wikipedia's site (they're a dot org site) just search the items I did (above in the single quotes).....I wish you luck.
A synopsis of what went through my mind as to what I'm getting from what your AH has been saying.....? I get the feeling that SOMETHING has ALREADY happened at work, and AH is creating all this meshugenah (sp?) crap [&@#$&*(*&^%$] so that when the end (and I believe it may very well be an end of some sort; sorry) does come, he'll have all this 'stuff' to fall back on.....like to be able to say 'not my fault' 'they were out to get me' 'it's all bs' ..... or whatever other 'lie' he may use.....and since you've been indundated thoroughly lately with all this #$%^&, you might just be on his side (at least this may be what AH is thinking/hoping)........?
I just went back and reread what I've written, and I'm not sure that even I understand it.....lol....whether it makes any sense or it's just my conspiracy theorist self flashing out; I just don't know.....sorry.....
One thing I'm pretty sure of, Callie, you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers (both you and your AH, and all involverd), but please Callie, be prepared (for what, I just don't know), but I definitely feel something is coming down the pike, and I don't think it's gonna be a bed of roses..... (o:
Stay strong.....!
NoelleR
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Join Date: May 2008
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Thanks everyone - NoelleR - I don't doubt your assumptions. It very well could be a line of BS. That is what AH does best. I am just beside myself right now. I don't know where to turn. It's public right now - everything that I've guarded so tightly is now out in the open without my control.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Callie,
This is a pivotal moment, and that is NOT a bad thing. You've fought the good fight, and now you have allowed others in to help you. It's really hard for a good codie to accept help from others, but family is the greatest resource. Don't step back in this path, sweetie. Move forward. Tomorrow, when it's a new day, don't bury your head but remember tonight and do what YOU need to do to take the steps to help yourself and your family to survive. He is in the downward spiral that so many talk of here, and remember how everyone says how quickly it happens. Be proactive, Callie. Take the steps to safeguard your assets. I implore you to wake up tomorrow and not look backward with sadness, but attack with a fury to keep yourself out of this drama and distance yourself from his spiral. Big hugs, Callie, and bigger prayers of strength that you wake tomorrow with a conviction that this is it.
This is a pivotal moment, and that is NOT a bad thing. You've fought the good fight, and now you have allowed others in to help you. It's really hard for a good codie to accept help from others, but family is the greatest resource. Don't step back in this path, sweetie. Move forward. Tomorrow, when it's a new day, don't bury your head but remember tonight and do what YOU need to do to take the steps to help yourself and your family to survive. He is in the downward spiral that so many talk of here, and remember how everyone says how quickly it happens. Be proactive, Callie. Take the steps to safeguard your assets. I implore you to wake up tomorrow and not look backward with sadness, but attack with a fury to keep yourself out of this drama and distance yourself from his spiral. Big hugs, Callie, and bigger prayers of strength that you wake tomorrow with a conviction that this is it.
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Join Date: May 2008
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Originally Posted by peaceteach 
Callie,
I implore you to wake up tomorrow and not look backward with sadness, but attack with a fury to keep yourself out of this drama and distance yourself from his spiral. Big hugs, Callie, and bigger prayers of strength that you wake tomorrow with a conviction that this is it.
I implore you to wake up tomorrow and not look backward with sadness, but attack with a fury to keep yourself out of this drama and distance yourself from his spiral. Big hugs, Callie, and bigger prayers of strength that you wake tomorrow with a conviction that this is it.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Callie)) -
I've just gotta say this...you talk about righting the injustice to him (if there IS injustice).
The fact is, he's been abusing drugs. They've obviously noticed some behavior changes at work (believe me, companies don't just pull you off your job unless there is a LOT of changes noticed and/or you are endangering yourself or others).
If I were to get a drug screen today, and it was dilute (which could possibly happen if I just drank a lot of water), I would be offering to provide another sample within a very short time frame..I would NOT be trying to find old scripts to back me up, calling my doctor to get him to say I can take them, coming up with stories of why this is so unfair.
That's because I'm in recovery. He is not. This may spur him into recovery, but from the sounds of it he is just trying to get away with being caught. I don't know what's going to happen, but I hope you can step back and let him deal with his own stuff.
For what it's worth, I got in trouble (got caught) on several jobs as a nurse...lost them, got other jobs...lost them. It was then that I thought "maybe I have a problem". I sought help, but didn't accept that I was an addict. Got clean from the opiates....found crack and THEN after 2 more years of hell, I got clean again. I stayed clean for a long time, but wasn't in recovery. I relapsed. That's when I finally sought recovery.
Do you really want to go through this for years? It's not a fact, but it's a definite possibility.
By focusing on this test and the creatinine, you are losing focus of the big picture...he is an addict and he's too busy trying to cover his tracks to think about the implications.
I'm sorry if this is harsh. I just hate to see you getting dragged down the spiral with him. I put my own family through hell. If I can help someone else's family not go through the same thing, then I'm going to try.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I've just gotta say this...you talk about righting the injustice to him (if there IS injustice).
The fact is, he's been abusing drugs. They've obviously noticed some behavior changes at work (believe me, companies don't just pull you off your job unless there is a LOT of changes noticed and/or you are endangering yourself or others).
If I were to get a drug screen today, and it was dilute (which could possibly happen if I just drank a lot of water), I would be offering to provide another sample within a very short time frame..I would NOT be trying to find old scripts to back me up, calling my doctor to get him to say I can take them, coming up with stories of why this is so unfair.
That's because I'm in recovery. He is not. This may spur him into recovery, but from the sounds of it he is just trying to get away with being caught. I don't know what's going to happen, but I hope you can step back and let him deal with his own stuff.
For what it's worth, I got in trouble (got caught) on several jobs as a nurse...lost them, got other jobs...lost them. It was then that I thought "maybe I have a problem". I sought help, but didn't accept that I was an addict. Got clean from the opiates....found crack and THEN after 2 more years of hell, I got clean again. I stayed clean for a long time, but wasn't in recovery. I relapsed. That's when I finally sought recovery.
Do you really want to go through this for years? It's not a fact, but it's a definite possibility.
By focusing on this test and the creatinine, you are losing focus of the big picture...he is an addict and he's too busy trying to cover his tracks to think about the implications.
I'm sorry if this is harsh. I just hate to see you getting dragged down the spiral with him. I put my own family through hell. If I can help someone else's family not go through the same thing, then I'm going to try.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
Thank you guys. I just don't have any words right now. I'm about to start my day, chock full of playdates, baseball games and getting ready for a garage sale tomorrow. I've got tons to do, but yet I cannot wrap my head around the fact that my AH is that manipulative to even KNOW how to tamper with a urine sample. No, I should not have to be worried about that, or bothered by that. But the fact that this is all public now and the fact that I have no CLUE how I'm going to make the house payment this month. Well, I'm just beside myself. My parents will help me financially if I need it, but @ 37 years old, I should not need it and I will not ask for it unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm wrestling with understanding this whole creatinine thing, with saving his job and trying to step back and just turn it over to him. This entire facade is crumbling and I'm so humiliated and embarassed. I just don't know how to face all of this publically. In reality I KNOW that this is not my fault, that I did not choose this path. But I'm just so sad mostly for my kids, but also my AH. Thank you guys for pounding the "let go" into my head - I keep grasping at things. That is the hope left in me I suppose. I've always been a fighter, very stubborn and don't give up easily. So this is very hard for me. You've told me time and time again to turn his addiction over to him. I hope you can keep pounding that into my head. I don't know what I would do if I had not found this place.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
(((Callie)))
Good luck with the garage sale today (I never have any success with those-LOL!)
The pain of shame and embarrassment is codie to the extreme, as is all the rescuing/enabling/wanting to believe in someone and doubting yourself even when the truth is irrefutable. Again, I am so glad you have gone to your family, sweetie. You really need that close support system, and chances are things are going to get worse before they get better. Have you gone to any meetings yet? I know I haven't involved myself in an outside program (other than SR) but it sounds like you could really benefit from them. The powerful first steps of acceptance and powerlessness are so painful, but also so liberating to your soul and spirit.
Good luck with the garage sale today (I never have any success with those-LOL!)
The pain of shame and embarrassment is codie to the extreme, as is all the rescuing/enabling/wanting to believe in someone and doubting yourself even when the truth is irrefutable. Again, I am so glad you have gone to your family, sweetie. You really need that close support system, and chances are things are going to get worse before they get better. Have you gone to any meetings yet? I know I haven't involved myself in an outside program (other than SR) but it sounds like you could really benefit from them. The powerful first steps of acceptance and powerlessness are so painful, but also so liberating to your soul and spirit.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Callie)))
We all hit our bottoms in our own time...as an addict or a codie. I held onto a relationship for 20 years once, because I was too stubborn to give up. Read all the codependent books, but it didn't sink in.
We're here for you. You'll find acceptance of the situation when you're ready.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
We all hit our bottoms in our own time...as an addict or a codie. I held onto a relationship for 20 years once, because I was too stubborn to give up. Read all the codependent books, but it didn't sink in.
We're here for you. You'll find acceptance of the situation when you're ready.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
I'm glad you told your family too. That's huge. You are probably going to need there help in the future as your husband doesn't seem like he's anywhere near his bottom yet. He's still lying and manipulating and that says it all. Actions speak louder than words.
At times like this it's a good idea to make a plan B. In the end we can only be responsible for taking care of ourselves. We can't expect anyone else to do it for us. Our lives are ours to live. We are responsible ONLY for our own choices. Not the choices of anyone else.
How are your children holding up through all this? I'm sure they must be noticing the elephant in their living room by now...
At times like this it's a good idea to make a plan B. In the end we can only be responsible for taking care of ourselves. We can't expect anyone else to do it for us. Our lives are ours to live. We are responsible ONLY for our own choices. Not the choices of anyone else.
How are your children holding up through all this? I'm sure they must be noticing the elephant in their living room by now...
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