She's headed to detox and rehab
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We went for visitation today and it was good. She's 5'7 130lbs and almost tackled her 6'2 220lb brother. She also invited a friend and he rode with us. The best thing is that he doesn't show any signs of codependency. Every time she was active in her addiction, he avoided her like the plague. They've been friends for a few years and whatever else he may be to her (I'm not asking), I know that he is a GOOD friend.
The only downside was her blood pressure being so low this morning they almost took her to the hospital. You wouldn't have known it though, by watching her. She was full of energy and chit chatting with everyone. She's made a lot of friends, many of them my age, and seems really happy, said she loves it there.
For the first time ever, I heard her say she's taking it one day at a time. We also heard she told the director her serenity was compromised, during a drum circle type experience. She was promptly excused. It wasn't the idea of it, it was a sensory thing. She said they sounded horrible and she had to cover her ears, it was driving her crazy. She's been given a few tools and is already using them
We went to the rehab bookstore and after she started reading The Language of Letting Go, I bought it for her. She said she's really into the literature and homework they do. It's all about her in a good way finally, and she's soaking it up.
I'm taking it one day at a time too. Today was beautiful.
The only downside was her blood pressure being so low this morning they almost took her to the hospital. You wouldn't have known it though, by watching her. She was full of energy and chit chatting with everyone. She's made a lot of friends, many of them my age, and seems really happy, said she loves it there.
For the first time ever, I heard her say she's taking it one day at a time. We also heard she told the director her serenity was compromised, during a drum circle type experience. She was promptly excused. It wasn't the idea of it, it was a sensory thing. She said they sounded horrible and she had to cover her ears, it was driving her crazy. She's been given a few tools and is already using them
We went to the rehab bookstore and after she started reading The Language of Letting Go, I bought it for her. She said she's really into the literature and homework they do. It's all about her in a good way finally, and she's soaking it up.
I'm taking it one day at a time too. Today was beautiful.
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(((Chino)))
Your last post was awesome!! It sounds like she's givnig rehab her all, and that is great. It's that whole thing about surrendering. I always thought I should be strong enough to overcome addiction by sheer willpower. When I finally realized it doesn't work that way, that's when I realized surrendering isn't a sign of weakness...it's a sign of acceptance.
Hugs and prayers to you and your family!
Amy
Your last post was awesome!! It sounds like she's givnig rehab her all, and that is great. It's that whole thing about surrendering. I always thought I should be strong enough to overcome addiction by sheer willpower. When I finally realized it doesn't work that way, that's when I realized surrendering isn't a sign of weakness...it's a sign of acceptance.
Hugs and prayers to you and your family!
Amy
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Originally Posted by marle 
Megan told me she is ready for structure. Sounds like your daughter wants it too.
She promptly went back to using, then in January decided she wanted to quit again, but still no inpatient rehab. That's when she started suboxone, and it worked for her in the sense it allowed her to continue treatment for post concussive syndrome, and get her anxiety meds regulated.
So here she is now, at the exact place she said she wanted no part of ever again, of her own free will and loving it. She had to do it in her time and there was never any pressure from us (a thank you to my therapist). We just helped her find resources, held fast to our boundaries, and she finally realized that yes, she needed help with structure.
An interesting side note is that rehab is fascinated by the diagnostics her psychiatrist utilized (Quantitative EEG). She's their first resident who's had it done and it's made her treatment a lot smoother. They picked her brain about it (pun intended) and who knows, maybe it's a tool they'll consider utilizing as well.
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Before the regular visit we had a private counseling session today that she, her dad, older brother and I attended.
The counselor asked me what I've been doing for help because she could tell I'm doing something. I told her about the addiction therapist and this forum. Guess what? She knows about it and said it's a great place. Kudos SR!
As we were wrapping up, I got a chance to tell my RAD about a conversation I had last night with my mom. We were talking about a cousin who's 50 years old and learning basic things most of take for granted. She was raised with a lot of scolding and not enough instruction.
I told my daughter the light bulb went on in my head and I realized I had done the same thing with her. I told her I was sorry and asked if she would allow me, us, to help her learn what she needs. I asked if she would be willing to give me, us, a second chance. She said yes and I was in tears.
If she would have said no, that was OK, too. I needed to make amends with her and it was the biggest relief to do that. We took a walk on a Serenity trail shortly after and when I came to the Step Nine bench I was ready to cry again. Thank you God, it felt so good.
She experienced a huge test to her sobriety the other day and it ended up blowing her away. One young woman was sneaking in oxy's and my daughter knew about it. But what really bothered her were two other women she had looked up to because of how well they were doing. They were all using and even offered her oxy's.
She finally said enough and with a couple of others that knew, reported it. Each young woman was given the opportunity to go back to detox or leave. The main culprit left and the others are detoxing again.
Because their sobriety and serenity was smoke and mirrors, she realized she herself was the person she admired. She's still stunned and all in all it was a very empowering day.
The counselor asked me what I've been doing for help because she could tell I'm doing something. I told her about the addiction therapist and this forum. Guess what? She knows about it and said it's a great place. Kudos SR!
As we were wrapping up, I got a chance to tell my RAD about a conversation I had last night with my mom. We were talking about a cousin who's 50 years old and learning basic things most of take for granted. She was raised with a lot of scolding and not enough instruction.
I told my daughter the light bulb went on in my head and I realized I had done the same thing with her. I told her I was sorry and asked if she would allow me, us, to help her learn what she needs. I asked if she would be willing to give me, us, a second chance. She said yes and I was in tears.
If she would have said no, that was OK, too. I needed to make amends with her and it was the biggest relief to do that. We took a walk on a Serenity trail shortly after and when I came to the Step Nine bench I was ready to cry again. Thank you God, it felt so good.
She experienced a huge test to her sobriety the other day and it ended up blowing her away. One young woman was sneaking in oxy's and my daughter knew about it. But what really bothered her were two other women she had looked up to because of how well they were doing. They were all using and even offered her oxy's.
She finally said enough and with a couple of others that knew, reported it. Each young woman was given the opportunity to go back to detox or leave. The main culprit left and the others are detoxing again.
Because their sobriety and serenity was smoke and mirrors, she realized she herself was the person she admired. She's still stunned and all in all it was a very empowering day.
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Wow, that is huge, in my opinion. Personally, I think it's her mama's good teaching. Don't be too hard on yourself in that regard, Chino. I used to just rack my brain with "What did I do wrong?" thinking, but have learned to forgive myself for just plain not knowing any better when it came to bringing up my kids.
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teach, the counselor today was kind to me as well in saying I did the best I could. I looked at her and my family and said no, I knew better. They knew the truth because I wasn't like that with our son. He's pretty rational and well balanced. I used to spend a lot of time explaining things to him.
Somewhere along the way I lost my way and started fighting with my daughter instead of fighting for her. It was controlling and it took this addiction and a 50 year old cousin to realize it.
I'm not beating myself up about it because it's past, but I had to own it so we could continue healing our relationship and move on. She's thankfully forgiving and willing.
Somewhere along the way I lost my way and started fighting with my daughter instead of fighting for her. It was controlling and it took this addiction and a 50 year old cousin to realize it.
I'm not beating myself up about it because it's past, but I had to own it so we could continue healing our relationship and move on. She's thankfully forgiving and willing.
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(((Chino)))
You're recovery is awesome and so is your daughter's. I can imagine it was very emotional day...but, WOW!!
I think you both took some HUGE steps! Looks, to me, like she's got the recovery bug It's a bit overwhelming (in a good way), when we choose to do the right thing, after doing wrong for so long, but it gives us a lot more confidence in ourselves.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
You're recovery is awesome and so is your daughter's. I can imagine it was very emotional day...but, WOW!!
I think you both took some HUGE steps! Looks, to me, like she's got the recovery bug
It's a bit overwhelming (in a good way), when we choose to do the right thing, after doing wrong for so long, but it gives us a lot more confidence in ourselves.Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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((Chino)))
You give me hope that someday my AS will choose recovery.
Thank you.
Sounds like your daughter has a good head on her shoulders, and truly wants out of the chaos. What wonderful news.
Your recovery is shining....
Hugs,
You give me hope that someday my AS will choose recovery.
Thank you.
Sounds like your daughter has a good head on her shoulders, and truly wants out of the chaos. What wonderful news.
Your recovery is shining....
Hugs,
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