Jwife22

So....ya'll know I'm a youngin'. I'm turning 25 in a few weeks and was thinking about what I wanted to do for my birthday. I started thinking about my life and what I've been through.

I figure I've probably been through more introspection and have more self-awareness than some people twice my age. It took a long time to get here. I've finally learned how to let go of my people-pleasing ways. I'm done with it. Toooooo hard and time consuming.

I've also finally learned to let go of the hurt and anger that I blamed totally and completely on RAH and accepted my part in it. Sheesh, that was hard. It was sorta like at the beginning where I said, "why do I need help, he's the one with the problem" except for this time it was "why should I take the blame, he was the liar, manipulator, user and all out ahole". Then I remembered, I stayed there. I didn't leave. I allowed him to lie to me and to manipulate me and to be the ahole sometimes. Forgiveness is hard, even if it is for me and not for him. That was one of the last things to come.

So, I'm turning 25 and I AM enjoying my young life (cause we all know its not here forever) and it doesn't completely depend on whether my RAH is sober or not. Whew, man that feels good.

Oh BTW-just in case your curious, next week he'll be 10 months clean and he's still workin hard on his own stuff.

I know I'm not around much any more. I started a garden, we are growing corn, okra and all kinds of yummy veggies and my life has been really busy for a while. I plan on being around here more.:day4

Ann

Happy Birthday in advance, Jwife, it sounds like your life gets better each day.

Congratulations to him for his clean time, and to you for the courage and strength you have shown along the way.

Your garden sounds wonderful, enjoy every moment but don't forget to check in and keep us posted on your recovery and where it's leading you.

I have a feeling that good things are ahead for both of you.

Hugs

Impurrfect

Happy Birthday!!!

I meant to respond to this earlier, when I read it, but Elvis (my cat) was laying on me and I couldn't type...I'm still codie enough to not want to disturb him

Your garden sounds wonderful and so do you!!! I certainly wish I'd have had the insight and knowledge you have when I was 25. I was reading Melodie Beatty's books, but not doing anything!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

greeteachday

Happy early birthday Laura! It's good to hear from you. I just came back from my Naranon meeting, and your post was like replaying some of it's finer points. The topic of the evening was forgiveness, with an emphasis on how forgiveness is for us; it isn't doing the other person a favor. Your post demonstrates how recovery has helped you find acceptance and forgiveness...and to find yourself.
The other way your post made me think of the meeting was a newcomer who shared. She is young; early 20's and realizing she is very much a codependent and people pleaser. Another member was saying (and many of us were thinking) how wonderful it is that she is seeking support and recovery so young; for no matter what, it will help her in her life journey.
In many ways, I think the greatest birthday gift you have given yourself is finding recovery. Hugs to you and congrats to your husband too! Good luck with the garden...I just love gardening!

Done_With_It

Happy Birthday Girl! I could so relate to your post~ In different ways, but in many ways the same! Happy Birthday!! 6