Hello...New but not too New
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 20
Hello...New but not too New
(I posted this here and on the newcomers site. I'm not certain where I'm supposed to be exactly.)
I’m new to this forum. Actually, I registered in December, but I haven’t shared my story or participated in anyone else’s threads until today. As least I don’t remember sharing previously. I’d like to change that by becoming more involved. Mine is an old story and familiar, I suppose, to a lot of you, but let me introduce myself anyway.
I am a single mother of an addict. My son was using for 18 years before I found out the truth. In the last two years his disease progressed to terrifying proportions, my life turned into a nightmare and became completely unmanageable, I became a prisoner in my own home, got sick and sicker, which eventually propelled me into seeking and finding recovery for myself last summer. (I won’t list recovery groups here, because I don’t know if it is allowed.) Anyway, since that time, my son found sobriety, joined his own recovery group, relapsed, destroyed just about everybody and everything in his path, was involved in an accident that almost killed a child, landed in jail, and will soon be sentenced to an indeterminate prison term. Best case scenario, 6 to 13 years. Worse case scenario, 25 to life. I have a long road ahead of me on my personal road to recovery, but at least I’m on the road. The journey has begun.
My son is a terrific person, and because of recovery I have grown to love him in a new way. In fact, being in jail has corralled him long enough for him to get sober, and has given us an opportunity to become reacquainted. He apparently started seriously using at the age of 14. I actually like this clean and sober version of my child. He has a long and difficult road ahead also, but I’m pleased to say I’m happy to be a part of his journey. At least today I am. No telling how it will be tomorrow, but for today I’m ok with what’s happening. I am one of those mother’s who has come to realize that jail is preferable to dead, so I am grateful for his being in jail. I know there is a large number among us who have lost their loved ones. So far, that has not been the plan for my son’s life and for that I am grateful.
I’m not in crisis right now (she says with her fingers crossed), but maybe something I have been through can be of help to another. At least that’s my hope for today. I was married to an alcoholic (he’s still using) and being the mother of an addict (currently not using), gives me a little bit of insight as to why addiction is defined as a family disease.
I’ve been reading your posts for months. This is a very loving and supportive group and I like it that people share their opinions here and sometimes even offer advice. Not every forum offers that freedom.
Ok then – end of introduction and thanks.
p.s. I love all the smiley choices on this sight. It's a cheerful touch.
I’m new to this forum. Actually, I registered in December, but I haven’t shared my story or participated in anyone else’s threads until today. As least I don’t remember sharing previously. I’d like to change that by becoming more involved. Mine is an old story and familiar, I suppose, to a lot of you, but let me introduce myself anyway.
I am a single mother of an addict. My son was using for 18 years before I found out the truth. In the last two years his disease progressed to terrifying proportions, my life turned into a nightmare and became completely unmanageable, I became a prisoner in my own home, got sick and sicker, which eventually propelled me into seeking and finding recovery for myself last summer. (I won’t list recovery groups here, because I don’t know if it is allowed.) Anyway, since that time, my son found sobriety, joined his own recovery group, relapsed, destroyed just about everybody and everything in his path, was involved in an accident that almost killed a child, landed in jail, and will soon be sentenced to an indeterminate prison term. Best case scenario, 6 to 13 years. Worse case scenario, 25 to life. I have a long road ahead of me on my personal road to recovery, but at least I’m on the road. The journey has begun.
My son is a terrific person, and because of recovery I have grown to love him in a new way. In fact, being in jail has corralled him long enough for him to get sober, and has given us an opportunity to become reacquainted. He apparently started seriously using at the age of 14. I actually like this clean and sober version of my child. He has a long and difficult road ahead also, but I’m pleased to say I’m happy to be a part of his journey. At least today I am. No telling how it will be tomorrow, but for today I’m ok with what’s happening. I am one of those mother’s who has come to realize that jail is preferable to dead, so I am grateful for his being in jail. I know there is a large number among us who have lost their loved ones. So far, that has not been the plan for my son’s life and for that I am grateful.
I’m not in crisis right now (she says with her fingers crossed), but maybe something I have been through can be of help to another. At least that’s my hope for today. I was married to an alcoholic (he’s still using) and being the mother of an addict (currently not using), gives me a little bit of insight as to why addiction is defined as a family disease.
I’ve been reading your posts for months. This is a very loving and supportive group and I like it that people share their opinions here and sometimes even offer advice. Not every forum offers that freedom.
Ok then – end of introduction and thanks.
p.s. I love all the smiley choices on this sight. It's a cheerful touch.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Welcome
I'm happy to meet you!
I love all the "active" parents on this board! That's what I call them anyway. If we can have active addicts, then I figure we can have "acctive parents" - and to me that means parents that are doing what they need to do! It makes my heart sing! I'm sorry about your son, but I'm happy you're at a place of peace.
I'm not a parent, but I've had one "non-active" parent, so I truly like to support those that are.
I'm sure you will have a lot to offer!
The smileys are great - aren't they?!
I'm happy to meet you!
I love all the "active" parents on this board! That's what I call them anyway. If we can have active addicts, then I figure we can have "acctive parents" - and to me that means parents that are doing what they need to do! It makes my heart sing! I'm sorry about your son, but I'm happy you're at a place of peace.
I'm not a parent, but I've had one "non-active" parent, so I truly like to support those that are.
I'm sure you will have a lot to offer!
The smileys are great - aren't they?!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome, BJW, from one mom to another.
It sounds like jail has been a good place for him to get grounded again and find his sobriety.
I'm glad you joined us and finally came out of the shadows
Hugs
It sounds like jail has been a good place for him to get grounded again and find his sobriety.
I'm glad you joined us and finally came out of the shadows
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Want to add my welcome. I am the mother of a soon to be 22 year old daughter, my addict, my only child. You are right that this is a loving and supportive group and even though it is pain that brings you here and for that I am sorry, we are still happy to welcome another member to our family. Hugs, Marle
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((BJW)))))))
Another mom here with a 26 yo son. He got clean in jail.
Spent 6 months. I figured if he wouldn't go to rehab (no, no, no)
then after robbing my house he could spend his time in the pokey
and maybe clear his head.
It's been almost 3 years since then. He's got good days and bad days.
The path has been bumpy for both of us, but I still have him in my life for
now and for that I thank God.
This is a wonderful place to share your experiences and thoughts.
Keep coming back.
Sending prayers up for you and your son.
Another mom here with a 26 yo son. He got clean in jail.
Spent 6 months. I figured if he wouldn't go to rehab (no, no, no)
then after robbing my house he could spend his time in the pokey
and maybe clear his head.
It's been almost 3 years since then. He's got good days and bad days.
The path has been bumpy for both of us, but I still have him in my life for
now and for that I thank God.
This is a wonderful place to share your experiences and thoughts.
Keep coming back.
Sending prayers up for you and your son.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Hi BJW,
Another mom here. I am the mom of 2 addicts one sober, the other, older, not sober.
The youngest son, age 29 went to lock down rehab for 6 months, and jail for 3 months, and lucky for him, he's been sober ever since. Has a wonderful GF, and living a poor, but honest life.
The oldest, age 34, has had a revolving door placed at the prison, and uses it frequently. In fact, I'm sure he will be returning before Summer is over. He has been out a year in March, but just can't seem to get it together.
He repeatedly drives under suspension, resists arrest, and has a drug charge pending......I still have hope, and still pray for him, but heaven knows I can't fix him.
Glad you're here.
Another mom here. I am the mom of 2 addicts one sober, the other, older, not sober.
The youngest son, age 29 went to lock down rehab for 6 months, and jail for 3 months, and lucky for him, he's been sober ever since. Has a wonderful GF, and living a poor, but honest life.
The oldest, age 34, has had a revolving door placed at the prison, and uses it frequently. In fact, I'm sure he will be returning before Summer is over. He has been out a year in March, but just can't seem to get it together.
He repeatedly drives under suspension, resists arrest, and has a drug charge pending......I still have hope, and still pray for him, but heaven knows I can't fix him.
Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome. i am glad you have found some peace. my son also is looking at a very,very long sentence. he has jumped bond & is on the run. i fear for him & his life everyday. we r here for you & glad you have posted your story. you have a lot to offer S.R. keep coming back & know we r here. prayers for you & your son.
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