lilkim

My ex addict bf has been coming over to the apartment that I share with my daughter. To "visit", real meaning hide out from his brother that he's living with. The agreement was show up sober or don't show up. Pretty easy I thought.

9:30 pm, I've got a 5 yr.,4yr., 2yr and a 2 month baby all acting crazy cuz that's what kids do. I hear his bike pull up. So, do the grandbabies. Before I can say anything, they run to let their Poppa in. I thought ok. He's stoping by to visit before work. Great.

My oldest grandson slides over to me and very softly tells me that Poppa has been drinking beer. I'm just not even believing this. He's got to be to work at 11. What the h***? Sure enought, the man is soused and I'm beyond angry. But not willing to upset all the kids. Me screaming is just going to freak the kids out and I have no desire as much as I love them, to hear 4 children crying at at a pitch unknown to man.

I let him crash in my bed until he's had 15 minuntes to get to work. I'll be very amazed if he still has a job in the morning. At this point, even the management can't deny there is a problem. If he didn't kill himself riding his bike.

All of that is his worry and his problem. It might be good if he loses his job. But I'm not going to dwell on all of that. He gets too. It's actually not bothering me a bit.

I sent him an email clearly telling him never to show up in that condition again, just keep drive anywhere else. And that my home is not a flop house to hid from his brother after a day of drinking.

I think that makes my feelings clear.But boy am I irked that he even had the nerve to do this. Tommorrow, he'll try to play it off as "Oh, shucks, I'm cute and laugh but I don't find it funny or charming. I find it sickening more so because my grandbabies were around. I don't even know what to say.

Ann

Lilkim, you handled that well and hopefully can stand by your boundaries on this. How sad for a little child to pick up that "daddy's drunk".

Maybe put a lock on the door higher than these kids can reach, so that next time (and there's always a next time) you can leave him on the outside looking in.

Special hugs to you, that's quite a handful of kiddies you have and how very blessed they are to have you.

rahsue

I'm usually an optomist but I bet he shows up whenever and in whatever condition he feels like it until you do something drastic. Putting that lock high up on the door is a good start but I bet he bangs on the door. Sorry for being a doom and gloomer but I think all addicts follow the same guidelines.

good luck

lilkim

The boys aren't scared of their grandpa but they know it upsets me when he's drinking. So, they always tell. LOL. Their the smallest members of the snitch patrol. I'm just irratated. Sure enough, he called and talk to the voice mail with that oh, gee. crap. I don't live with hm anymore and I'm not pretending nothing happened or that it was ok. That was part of why I lefted. The constant pretending. I've just annoyed that after all this time he wants to show up drunk.
Next time, I won't let the security door get opened and he wants to be too much of an ass. Well, that's what the police are for.