Addicts will go to any extreme to get high.
 

Get ready for a long rant here folks. I can't even begin to describe how PO'd I am right now...

Facts of the situation:
I have a friend I met in rehab. She's a narco addict (also abuses alcohol). She's been struggling since she got out. She's relapsed a few times and was kicked out of her sober house. She's now living in an apartment by herself. As of yesterday, she had no more than 2 weeks sober.

Yesterday she had plastic surgery - liposuction on her stomach. She enlists some mutual friends of ours to drive her there, pick her up afterward, drive her to the pharmacy to get pain meds (vicodin). And has one of our friends, who happens to be a nurse, to stay with her at her apartment last night because she needs help with various drainage tubes, a catheter, dressing changes, etc.

According to our friend the nurse who picked her up, there was no warning about the condition she would be in after surgery. All she basically said was that she needed a ride. And I don't blame the nurse for not expecting this either. She doesn't know anything about plastic surgery. She worked in a pediatrician's office. I don't either for that matter. All I know is what I've seen on TV. Quick and easy, just suck out the fat and you're done as far as I know.

Those are the facts (except that last little interjection) as they have been told to me by our nurse friend.

Some questions come to mind. Why plastic surgery now? She's in fairly serious trouble with her recovery at the moment and scheduling elective surgery seemed like a good idea? I don't buy it for a second.

If you ask me, she had one, singular purpose, to get high. The surgery was just an excuse so she could legitimize her drug abuse to others. In addition, she totally manipulated friends of mine into enabling her.

So I tell my nurse friend my opinions and she agrees with me. She got duped, BIG TIME. And she's mad too - and SHE SHOULD BE MAD. The plan from now on: our friend who is recovering from surgery is on her own. No help from us for any reason except if she wants a ride to a meeting. No one stopping by to check on her, get her groceries, fill her prescriptions for her, help her with any of the tubes/dressings, whatever. She's an adult. She got herself into this. If she is in need of legitimate medical attention, she can pick up a phone and call 911. That's what ambulances are for.

She HAD to know going into the surgery that she was facing this kind of recovery from it. She knew damn well she would be getting pain meds (two weeks sober time, no problem taking those as prescribed, GREAT IDEA). And even if all these tubes and crap she has for fluid to drain were the result of some sort of complication, she would have been advised of the risks going in. There is absolutely no reason (in my mind) why someone in her situation would need to have plastic-FREAKING-surgery right now. NONE!

I know as an alcohlic and drug addict myself that I was pretty much capable of anything to get high. But this one... I am just beside myself right now.

((justanothrdrunk))

hate so much that your friend is in such a depth of the disease to be willing to put herself thru surgery for pain meds - from your perspective - it does appear to be what she has done. I know that several of the A's in my life have done similiar things and it does make me very sad for them.

One that they must have physical harm to their body and also how distorted their thought process must be to have this disease so control their mind that they truly believe that no one realizes this is what they are doing.

Cunning, baffling and powerful.

praying for physical healing for your friend and that also thru this she may find her path to a place of true recovery

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

Ya know, I see very few things at SR that surprise me. Just when I think I've seen it all...

If true, that is truly one I wouldn't have thought possible. Holy smoke.

I think you have the right approach. For some reason, I really get angry too when people use the goodwill of others as if it were nothing. Ultimate narcissism.

warren

Hi justanother. I understand your frustration. I really do. I had a friend who went through that surgery and it is really really nasty. It's highly possible that your friend went through it just to get drugs. I don't know.

Still, I worry about her not having any help with the tubes etc. Maybe I'm just a sucker. But can you forgive her just for a couple days so her incisions and her insides don't get infected etc and THEN cut her help off? I really don't think you can change those tubes on your own.

That surgery is really really bad. My friend was told, recovery from liposuction was tough. She didn't believe it could be be worse than her C-section. But it was MUCH more debilitating than a c-section.

I guess I'm just a sucker. But I know how nasty and bad that stuff is. She can probably get help somewhere else. Right? I guess you gotta be pretty angry to not help someone with tubes sticking out of their stomach, even if they are in the midst of a relapse.

Jeez...you would think if she had enough money to get that surgery, she'd just spend the few thousand on drugs directly! I guess it just goes to show how much addicts have to rationalize their own drug-seeking craziness even to themselves.

[QUOTE=justanothrdrunk;1755624]
In addition, she totally manipulated friends of mine into enabling her.

QUOTE]

I guess I agree with Cen616. If she has the money for liposuction, she has the money for her DOC. Why go through the discomfort and bother if the goal is to get high.

I did not read how she manipulated anyone to do anything. Was she holding them at gun point? Did the nurse somehow feel responsible for the outcome if she walked away?

Occasionally, people who have issues with saying no, twist the story to portray themselves as victims of manipulation.

Maybe she does not like herself and she thinks that lipo will make her happy and solve all her problems. My daughter did the same thing. She had a boob job and lipo all in hopes of trying to make herself more likeable to herself. She is an opiate addict and was given Vics both times. Hugs, Marle

My sister-in-law (alcoholic, addict) also had breast implants to feel better about herself. Hmmmm.... this is really interesting!

She may feel her self image is a part of her recovery and/or she may not care or realize that her sobriety has been compromised. It doesn't sound like she was ready for rehab in the first place.

Like a few others, if she really needs help and I was able, I'd give it then step away. One time I wrapped this brat's hand, after he cut it throwing gravel at cars on our block. There was broken glass in the gravel. I told him I hoped it was worth it.

Nothing surprises me when it comes to http://www.mazeguy.net/symbolic/hypnodisk.gif addicts.

Try to keep the focus on yourself, because that is all you have control of.
The insanity of addict thinking doesn't surprise me after being here and with my own son, as you know.
You have been worried abt. this friend for some time. Maybe her friendship is not good for your own sobriety at this time. People, places and thinkgs...
You are doing so well since July 7...that's what is so important.

My exAbf had heart surgery (pacemaker installed, but it doesn't actually pace his heart) for the same kind of reasons: help from others, drinking and drugging money and escape from police.

It looks like this:

In terms of Police: trying to dine and dash on bar tabs> police are called> "My heart my heart!"> Ambulance to the hospital> police leave> doctors give the ok> back out he goes for more drinking/drugs. He does this all the time - every single binge.

In terms of money: I need more heart medication. My heart doesn't feel right, I can't work. But my rent needs to be paid/I don't have food in my house/ I need etc etc etc.

The reason I don't believe he has a real heart problem: he uses every sort of drug to get high, stays up for weeks on end, and has no ill effect EVER from his heart. It is used like currency.

How does that saying go? Can't make sense out of nonsense?!

For what it's worth I respect you. It takes a lot of courage to be honest and say no.

If she has the money for elective surgery, she has the money to call and request a nurse to come out and pay for the dressing changes. Sorry I'm guessing that the nurse who offered to give her a ride home, could use some money to increase her self esteem with outward appearances. Lipo is a quick fix.. with a lot of risks. No guarentees there.

I think that is one of the tendancies, characteristics of the disease, not thinking of the possible consequences of ones choices and coming up with a plan. Asking in advance for that help if one may need it- instead of expecting it.

Wow, true life really is stranger than fiction. I'm sorry you are having to go through this and seeing your friend take such a hit has to be hard. We never want to see the people we care about go back into a certain hell, but when they do so willingly? God, it's just painful.

Lots of light and love to all involved in this.:ghug