Chino

Last night I got into a fight with a woman half my age. I was meeting up with friends at a bar and while waiting for them, this man next to me starts chit chatting. His wife didn't like it, she was obviously drunk, and before anyone could stop her she used her body to shove me and then grabbed me.

I studied martial arts for several years and could have really done some damage, but it was compassion that held me back, not the self control that was rammed into my head.

When I heard all the illogical and nonsensical words coming out of her mouth, when she was blaming me for everything in her marriage, it reminded me so much of the verbal attacks we experience from our addicts.

I never hit her, I just kept putting her on the floor when she kept coming at me, until others finally restrained her. Her husband apologized and I just sadly shook my head, got the hell out of there.

It left me with an ugly feeling in the pit of my stomach and it's still there. I kept seeing my daughters face and thinking about everyone here. I hope that young woman finds help before someone is seriously hurt.

I have learned so much about compassion, about myself, from all of you and our addicts. Thank you.

CatsPajamas

WOW Chino. That's a powerful post. I too have been amazed at how differently I view the world now that I've learned about addiction and recovery. When I read that, I thought "even when they are coming at you full force, it's STILL all about them and not about YOU!". What drove that young woman was her own stuff - her insecurities, her fears... not any of it about you.

Lucky for HER that you were able to detach and see it for what it was, and to simply deflect her rather than pummel her . LOL

HUGS
Cats

hope213

you are a good person. you have learned alot. thank you for the post. hugs,

best

Ahhh Grasshopper, it is compassion that drives our self control and until such a time as we learn it, we are told to use restraint of our anger.
You learned well.

That feeling in the pit of your stomach... that is compassion like God has. A love for fellow man/woman. Know that you are in the right place and accept that feeling as a blessing that tells you so.

BayAreaPhoenix

I would have been petrified being faced with a physically and verbally abusive person, however, I also would have a better understanding of what it was I was witnessing. You're right, the understanding and compassion (not acceptance) of what is really going on is amazing to "see" in the world around me.

Your recovery is a beacon! Thanks for sharing

Chino

Wow. Reading that was like finding all the puzzle pieces I've misplaced, and then watching them slip into place. I'm not so anxious to get rid of that knot in my stomach now.

Have you ever heard the song lyrics:

Right here, right now, there is no other place I want to be
Right here, right now, watching the world wake up from history

Except I'm waking up from my own history

caileesnana

Amazing how we look at the entire world differently now!
thanks for the post,
susan

splendra

Oh Gauwd!! That's not strange ((((Chino)))) I cannot tell you how many times I have encountered something like that...

I have also studied martial arts and I think that one of the reason I have had so many encounters like this is because I can help to keep them from being truly injured. I become the person these people are so angry with the really sad thing is that the real person they are mad at is themselves....