Language of Letting Go - April 23 - Opening Ourselves to Love
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - April 23 - Opening Ourselves to Love
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Opening Ourselves to Love
Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.
Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given, or withheld, to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give.
At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn't? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves?
We will learn. The starting point is surrendering to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love.
We may need to get angry first - angry that our needs have not been met. Later, we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don't want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us.
We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us.
Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way.
Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.
Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Opening Ourselves to Love
Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.
Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given, or withheld, to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give.
At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn't? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves?
We will learn. The starting point is surrendering to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love.
We may need to get angry first - angry that our needs have not been met. Later, we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don't want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us.
We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us.
Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way.
Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.
Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.
Until I loved myself, it didn't matter how many others loved me.
Since I learned to believe that I am lovable and began treating myself with the same respect and love I would treat a dear friend, since I began feeling comfortable standing for my own values even if I stood alone...it doesn't matter how many others love me.
Funny how that works. I treasure my dear friends and family, and embrace each relationship filled with love and respect. But I no longer feel a need to people-please or be something I am not just to gain approval.
How freeing it was to discover that being the best person I know how to be was good enough and required no more.
Hugs
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Colorado Springs Co
Posts: 7
It’s hard to love myself when I have always felt that it is wrong. I understand the importance but I don't know how to start. I don’t care what others think of me but I think that is because I have gotten to the point that I just assume that they won’t care about me so I figure what’s the point, might as well by who I want to be but that doesn’t change the fact that I find it hard to love me.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Veralynn, it helped me to start my day with an affirmation my sponsor suggested..."I am a precious child of God, worthy of love and respect."
If God loves me, knowing all my faults and troubles, then who am I to argue.
We are the good person who lives in our hearts and not the subject of another persons approval. My program taught me that, and meetings where I learned to discover who I really was, what my dreams and aspirations were, and the belief that they really could come true, if I was willing to be true to myself.
You may be weary, exhausted and worn, just like I was and many here have been, but it doesn't have to stay that way. One day at a time, one small step at a time, it really does get better when we take good care of ourselves and know that it's okay to stand for that which we believe...that we are worthy of love and respect.
Hugs
If God loves me, knowing all my faults and troubles, then who am I to argue.
We are the good person who lives in our hearts and not the subject of another persons approval. My program taught me that, and meetings where I learned to discover who I really was, what my dreams and aspirations were, and the belief that they really could come true, if I was willing to be true to myself.
You may be weary, exhausted and worn, just like I was and many here have been, but it doesn't have to stay that way. One day at a time, one small step at a time, it really does get better when we take good care of ourselves and know that it's okay to stand for that which we believe...that we are worthy of love and respect.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Colorado Springs Co
Posts: 7
“If God loves me, knowing all my faults and troubles, then who am I to argue”
All I can say to that is – crap, your right- I don’t have the right to argue. Thank for the humbling reminder. I guess I didn’t realize how arrogant my self deprecation is. I’m going to try and remember that. Thank you.
All I can say to that is – crap, your right- I don’t have the right to argue. Thank for the humbling reminder. I guess I didn’t realize how arrogant my self deprecation is. I’m going to try and remember that. Thank you.
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