BUTTERFLY-7

Hi Yall I'm Upset Because Since Yesterday I posted 2 Threads In Christians Recovery,&Mental Health, and It Seems Like Every Time I post A thread I'm Ignore, Or NO one Wants to Answer, just give it to me dry, and cut, and I'm speaking to the founder of B.P. town, and the Christian recovery,and any other forum,I will understand and move on to another Site, Simple solutions for complicated people, I'm not exaggerating go see all my threads hardly any one answers me back I could, or any one, could be going through something at that moment and It could be a matter between life, and death, and I'm Ignore. and no need to get resented, or offended, I'm just expressing what I feel. and been noticing, I'm Sorry I'm Just Expressing What I feel, I though That This Was a Support Site To Identified, or share, besides our Indifference, and Have Others write Back To you With there experience of Strength, and Hope, Please this are peoples Life hanging on the line, I answer to many Replies but I also to need advice, and support, It's My Brother In-Law his done it again every time things are going right for me, and my husband, he just has to come with his nonsense and sabotage everything me and my Husband work so hard for, since yesterday we when through a very disturbing encounter with him, he is Bipolar, but a very smart Bipolar, he takes klonopins, and some other Medications, but he abuses from them just to get high, and abuses everything that comes his way, we are Born again Christians we believe that we most Love our neighbor, as we love our self,and to Forgive, and Forget, But It's done to many times his behavior It's Intolerance to me I cant Stand Him I became a Very Bitter, and a Resentful, Christian for the Pass 24 hrs. and I became to Hate Him, and thats a very Powerful word, and emotion, but I just can't do it he embarrassed us me, &my Husband, yesterday in church he Got mad, and a Attitude, when we told him service is in session talk to us Later cause he just kept talking and disturbing the service, he is very on-discipline, after service he gave my Husband the only nasty reply with his body, and moth, Language I want it the Earth to swallow me I when and did the Christian thing and even though he was wrong I when to Apologize, and he push me away he didn't want to here me, but then he came around and accepted our Apology,But I just Did It Cause It was the Christian thing to do, and because the Pastor and every body notice it, and the Pastor Came and Tell Us OH! you must come down, there are people around you and you see how the Devil try to ruin your lively hood Testimony, Man I'm so tire of this, was the Lady Pastor more concern about the People, or our Testimony, or about what when Down, Oh! and to Him It was Like we can't tell him not to come because this is the house of the Lord I understand that Much, But I'm not going to let his behaviors effect me, or my Husband, so Please I feel Awful Because I'm not that Spiritual to Forgive not once but many Des- respectful, and In-tolerance, Behaviors from Him, but in church is like a taboo you can't feel, this or thing, like this or say this, Oh Man I'm so tire of this. then I'm Afraid cause I Fail God with my thinking, and behaviors, and attitude, so now they Got me, and my husband, like the sinners Man, I'm tire of this Please someone reply,It will be much appreciate

liesagain

I agree with anvil its difficult to determine what your asking but from what I got..............your brother in law was dispectful to you and your husband in public and in church specifically

your upset with the behavior and upset that you feel your faith requires you to forgive?

Is this what your saying?

my thought is..............regardless of what your faith is..............I doubt your expected to just tolerate that behavior or that you need to be the one to apologize unless you were wrong

My suggestion would be to calmly tell the BIL that you wont tolerate the disrespect, and that you will pray for him and walk away..............as for the others watching............theres a saying here thats used alot
what others think of me is none of my business.

If you feel YOU show your testimony in your actions and reactions then really who cares what others think? walk your walk and keep your self "right" in the lines of your faith but faith shouldnt require us to be mistreated............and think or act as if its just fine......

You can still express your needs wants hopes and expectations for others and thier interactions with you.

BUTTERFLY-7

I'm trying to keep up with this computer world I don't know how to brake it into Paragraph, or any thing,else but any way for trying I'm some how ventilating and will like to know what to do in a situation like this before I solve it my way and my way could create chaos.

liesagain

breaking between paragraphs means.................after you type a few sentences you hit enter twice to make space between the ideas, sentences and such.

maybe you could try writing short and simple questions at first and then add more information as you keep talking more about the subject in more replies on the same thread.

theres no right or wrong way here...........I think we're just offering suggestions to try to make it easier for you to get your questions answered....

Lobo

Butterfly, Welcome to this forum,

I don't know if I can help your or not but please accept the fact that I am trying. I agree with the above you have a lot going on here. You are complicating your faith into a mix of allow yourself to be emotionally abused by your BIL. Am I correct?

I consider myself a christian with good christian values. With or without a church family or dictator we know right from wrong. I don't know anyone that is supposed to sit by and let themselves be abused because that is what the church tells them to do.

Put it this way.......God gave you knowledge and good sense. Good sense tells you that what your BIL is doing to you and your husband is wrong. We are all in control of our own lives and you need to get control of yours by doing what is right for you. You don't have to sit back and be walked all over because you think that is the christian thing to do. You can be kind and loving and not let this happen. We all have to set boundaries in our lives and I think that is what needs to happen here.

I would suggest that you have a heart to heart talk with your BIL and let him know how his behavior is affecting you. Let him know what is acceptable to you and what is not acceptable. Letting him to continue this behavior is going to continue to make you sick if you don't get a handle on it. You have a right to live your life the way you want to without being a pushover because that is what your christian values are telling you.

Have you ever thought that the christian thing to do for your BIL would be to detach with love. You would be letting him take responsibilty for his own actions and taking yourself out of the way. He will learn and benefit from this and to me that would be the christian thing to do for him.

All said with my deepest concern.....we are all children of God and he gave us many gifts. It seems to me that you have a gift of compassion, but it is not to be taken for granted.

Hugs............Lo

ZombieWife

Sweetheart, I think loving your neighbor is important, but when it puts your health, life and livelihood at risk, then it's ok to protect yourself. And forgiving is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't mean you have to let this person run your life and keep abusing your trust and your love.

Your post seems very erratic and a bit "all over the place" (not meaning that in a bad way,) but I can personally tell you seem VERY distressed! And first off, I'd like to offer a huge online-HUG to start with.



It's hard to really glean what's going on. Your brother in law abuses pills and probably anything else he can get his hands on? You also mentioned he's turned into a bitter Christian?

Have you talked to the pastor one-on-one yet? Told her everything that's going on? I think that's where I would start. Now, is this your husband's brother? Or a sister's husband? Can you give us more background?

Just take a big breath!!

Live

Butterfly,

As you know I have all ready responded in the mental health forum, but came here to check it out due to your comments. Some people participate in several forums. I have come to limit myself almost exclusively to the mental health forum. I spread myself out too thin and speak in ignorance when I just pop in elsewhere with people I do not know.
there's a very enjoyable group of friends who meet in cafe central but I can't keep up.
Lies is a very good friend there! Hi Lies! Great response, I admire your ability to say things simply and clearly, things it takes me much longer and indirectly to say.

caileesnana

Hi and welcome. You will always get some kind of an answer here!

Step away from the addict. You can't fix them and when it starts to destroy you, it is time to let go!
susan

duet_4-8

Hi,
I don't know your story; this is the first post I've read. I'm not sure I really understand what is going on. I don't reply much anymore to anyone, not because I don't care, but just because it takes time-which I don't have a lot of at the moment-and (like liveweyerd said) it's difficult when you don't know the background.

Forgiveness does not automatically equal forgetting what the person did and allowing them to continue to abuse you. Sometimes, the only way to truly forgive someone who insists on abusing you is to keep your distance from that person so they cannot continue the behavior.

Abusive behavior is not only damaging to you, but also to the abuser. Sometimes, the Christian thing to do is to hold people accountable and say, "How you act is your choice, but I cannot allow you to treat me like this any longer." And then walk away.

We are told to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. For me, the hardest part of that lesson to learn was the part about loving myself......

(((((hugs))))))

best

Butterfly

We have over 20,000 members here but not all are here at the same time.
I show up as I am able and as time allows, I read and reply. We all do that.
There are times I have answers but no time. There are times I have time but no answers. We all are like that.

I know that when anxiety towards a need for answers shows up, we all want the answer as soon as possible but those who are around at the moment may not have the time to reply or an answer that may help.

As for your asking..What does God think of you?

He thinks the same about you as He does everyone.

We are His children and He loves us deeply.
When we do wrong, we bring sadness to Him but He still loves us just as much. When we do right, we bring Him joy and He loves us just as much but with a smile on His face.

I can tell you what I think of you. How much growth I have seen in you. How happy I am to see you here with us and speak of how grateful I am for all that you share to try and help others...but...What I think doesn't matter.
What God thinks is the only thing that matters and guess what?
Jesus loves you so much that He died on a cross for you...Yes for you.
Does that tell you how much He loves you and what He thinks of you?
He thinks the whole world of you.

BUTTERFLY-7

u guys for your support and patience and tolerance to LOBO thanx because you are right sooner or later I'm going to have to face this situation, and yes I must talk to him, to liesagain thanx you too for taking time to teach me on how to break paragraph, and sentences, down and how to specified between lines, I will be putting it into practice, to Zombiewife thanx Hon on that beautiful Hug you send me God knows I needed it It broke the ice from my Bitter Heart, oh and by the way when I spoke about the Bitter Christian I meant me with all this behavior going on from my husband side of the family It's hard to stay Like Jesus, caileesnana you are right if is broken don't fix it, and the sad thing is that all this I know and I'm able to give strength, and hope, to someone else, but when the storm hits my Boat I loose all sense of reality, and knowledge, God help me and toLiveweyerd thanx you honey you've been following my threads every step of the way much appreciated, and to duet 4-8 thanx girl I wil keep my distance from this individual, who happens to be my husband brother, and to best thanx Buddy thanx you for your beautiful words words are so powerful when they come from the Heart, thanx for following me as my Guardian Angel in every step of the way you've been there since I arrive to this site 3 months ago, God Bless you Brother, and to all of yawl, much Appreciated I feel better until we meet again.