Since I can't control my addict, then....
On a tear
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Since I can't control my addict, then....
.... Give me something to clean!!
Really. I discovered my daughter was shooting meth last Friday night at her mostly cleaned-out trailer. When she got up the next morning, I mentioned she looked like crap... she burst into tears and said she was sorry, but she had relapsed. She told her dad, too... which is far harder in our household.
So I can't control her. I can't MAKE her stop. There are no silver bullets. There is no can of magic.
But dammit... her trailer is nearly empty, and by God... I can clean!
So I spent two days...long days... by myself, cleaning up the mess of her ex (and her, to some extent). Months of no cleaning... garbage, nothing ever mopped up, nothing ever wiped down.
When I left Sunday night, you couldn't eat off the floor, quite... but you could darned near drink out of the toilet! And the kitchen cabinets are sparkling... which is hard to do, since they are just painted wood.
I couldn't believe how good it made me feel to do that deep cleaning, no one home, I can use all the bleach I need sort of clean. I was dragging out the refridgerator and the range and cleaning beneath and behind. I sucked up more cobwebs than you can shake a stick at, and found over 150 pennies... which I dropped into a bottle of soapy water, so they'll be bright and shiny when I put them in my wallet.
All the furniture is already in storage...so I could really get in and fill boxes and sort stuff and clean windows.
Another week before I can get back to it.... heck, maybe I'll touch base with the landlady to see if she needs any other units cleaned. I could use the cash, and the work is so danged satisfying!
Just checking in. I'm still doing good - considering both kids are still who THEY are. My sponsor is challenging me to hit at least 2 meetings a week, and coming in here to SR does NOT count.
So I am trying to commit to that...even if all I want to do is isolate ... and clean house.
((hugs))
Really. I discovered my daughter was shooting meth last Friday night at her mostly cleaned-out trailer. When she got up the next morning, I mentioned she looked like crap... she burst into tears and said she was sorry, but she had relapsed. She told her dad, too... which is far harder in our household.
So I can't control her. I can't MAKE her stop. There are no silver bullets. There is no can of magic.
But dammit... her trailer is nearly empty, and by God... I can clean!
So I spent two days...long days... by myself, cleaning up the mess of her ex (and her, to some extent). Months of no cleaning... garbage, nothing ever mopped up, nothing ever wiped down.
When I left Sunday night, you couldn't eat off the floor, quite... but you could darned near drink out of the toilet! And the kitchen cabinets are sparkling... which is hard to do, since they are just painted wood.
I couldn't believe how good it made me feel to do that deep cleaning, no one home, I can use all the bleach I need sort of clean. I was dragging out the refridgerator and the range and cleaning beneath and behind. I sucked up more cobwebs than you can shake a stick at, and found over 150 pennies... which I dropped into a bottle of soapy water, so they'll be bright and shiny when I put them in my wallet.
All the furniture is already in storage...so I could really get in and fill boxes and sort stuff and clean windows.
Another week before I can get back to it.... heck, maybe I'll touch base with the landlady to see if she needs any other units cleaned. I could use the cash, and the work is so danged satisfying!
Just checking in. I'm still doing good - considering both kids are still who THEY are. My sponsor is challenging me to hit at least 2 meetings a week, and coming in here to SR does NOT count.
So I am trying to commit to that...even if all I want to do is isolate ... and clean house.((hugs))
Last edited by BigSis; 04-15-2008 at 01:11 AM. Reason: can to "can't"
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Next time I'm stressed, I'm sending for you because I need some of that special energy to get spring cleaning around here.
I'm sorry she's using BigSis, I pray she gets back on a good path soon. Dang kids should listen to their mamas and they'd be a lot better off today *she said as if one word we speak would make any difference*.
I admire your courage and your stamina, you've been through a lot lately. Just know that you are a huge inspiration and that we're all walking with you.
Hugs
I'm sorry she's using BigSis, I pray she gets back on a good path soon. Dang kids should listen to their mamas and they'd be a lot better off today *she said as if one word we speak would make any difference*.
I admire your courage and your stamina, you've been through a lot lately. Just know that you are a huge inspiration and that we're all walking with you.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I'm sorry, BigSis. I know it hurts. I did something similar two years ago when my daughter moved in with her abf. It was an upstairs apartment and the temperature outside was close to 100. My tears were mixing with my sweat as I cleaned like a demon. I had made a promise to the landlady the year before when my daughter got behind on her rent. I paid the back rent and promised her that my daughter would not put her through that again. So I made sure that my daughter moved out on time Prayers that your daughter gets back on track really quickly. Hugs, Marle
Prayers that your daughter gets back on track really quickly. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 388
BigSis,
I am sorry about your daughter, and I am sorry for the pain you are in.
If only we could wish away their pain...
I also clean when I am stressed out.
My problem is that I clean out the refrigerator....
and eat everything that was in it.
Prayers that she will find her way soon.
Hugs,
Colleen
I am sorry about your daughter, and I am sorry for the pain you are in.
If only we could wish away their pain...
I also clean when I am stressed out.
My problem is that I clean out the refrigerator....
and eat everything that was in it.
Prayers that she will find her way soon.
Hugs,
Colleen
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
that's funny that you mention cleaning.
Cleaning for me is a form of artistic expression in the sense that i'm taking chaos (dirt, disorganization, etc), tearing it down to an even lower level of chaos, and then putting it back together again into a higher form all within a pre-determined period of time (before I have to start dinner, etc.). The reward is looking at what i've created - at least for a couple of days before it starts disintegrating again. I've often wondered if that is what Van Gogh experienced.
Cleaning for me is a form of artistic expression in the sense that i'm taking chaos (dirt, disorganization, etc), tearing it down to an even lower level of chaos, and then putting it back together again into a higher form all within a pre-determined period of time (before I have to start dinner, etc.). The reward is looking at what i've created - at least for a couple of days before it starts disintegrating again. I've often wondered if that is what Van Gogh experienced.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
OOOH Sis. Doncha just love how things work out? If your employment situation was different, you wouldn't have had the time to do the bleach therapy and you would have had to deal with your stress in a different way.
Sorry to hear about your daughter. Hopefully that was all the research she needed to get right back on her recovery program.
BIG hugs
Cats
Sorry to hear about your daughter. Hopefully that was all the research she needed to get right back on her recovery program.
BIG hugs
Cats
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
I'm a project freak when I get stressed. That means sometimes I make more a mess then it was befroe. But I think I would love the emptiness and opportunity.
I hear you on the kid front...you know I do. I was hoping it would get easier...but I guess thats what they mean when they say that "I" have a lot of work to do.
We're wlking with you Sis...but you knew that too
(((Hugs)))
I hear you on the kid front...you know I do. I was hoping it would get easier...but I guess thats what they mean when they say that "I" have a lot of work to do.
We're wlking with you Sis...but you knew that too
(((Hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
((((Big Sis))))
I wish I had all of that energy when I was stressed. I have more of a tendency to shut down. I do remember when my daughter was using though I wanted to clean out her room and make it to my liking. Kind of like cleaning away all of the dysfunction.....it seemed that was the only way I could get rid of it. It was more than cleaning the room, it was cleaning away all of the bad that I felt. When I stood back and looked at it, it made me feel like I made my life clean again a washed it all away.
Crazy thinking I know, but does that make sense to anyone?
My prayers that your daughter will get back on track........................Lo
I wish I had all of that energy when I was stressed. I have more of a tendency to shut down. I do remember when my daughter was using though I wanted to clean out her room and make it to my liking. Kind of like cleaning away all of the dysfunction.....it seemed that was the only way I could get rid of it. It was more than cleaning the room, it was cleaning away all of the bad that I felt. When I stood back and looked at it, it made me feel like I made my life clean again a washed it all away.
Crazy thinking I know, but does that make sense to anyone?
My prayers that your daughter will get back on track........................Lo
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Oh Sis, I'm sorry about your daughter's relapse. I pray that she will get back on the wagon and take in a meeting or two (or 3,578) herself. I must admit, as a mom, this is just one of those things that never goes away, the concern that this can happen.
Guess that is why we continue with our meetings, huh, Sis? So we can continue to live, realize that we can't be sucked into misery because of their using, and that we must keep working the steps and doing what we have to do (like clean) in order to survive. No wait....do MORE than survive...but live, really live.
I admire you, Sis. Think you're practicing that "move a muscle, change a mood" thing.
Prayers for your daughter, praying she'll decide living sober and clean is what she prefers.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Guess that is why we continue with our meetings, huh, Sis? So we can continue to live, realize that we can't be sucked into misery because of their using, and that we must keep working the steps and doing what we have to do (like clean) in order to survive. No wait....do MORE than survive...but live, really live.
I admire you, Sis. Think you're practicing that "move a muscle, change a mood" thing.
Prayers for your daughter, praying she'll decide living sober and clean is what she prefers.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((((((((((BigSis))))))))))))))
I hear ya too, Sis.
Arrrgggggg! I wonder if they're ever gonna get it. I swear!
Jason's living out in the boonies with that woman. She's working in the
dietary of a nursing home to support them. He worked one week and yep, you
guessed it...."I hated it, mom. I couldn't do it. Too much noise."
Blah! Blah! Blah!
Not a pot to p*ss in, but she can make sure she gets the weekly allowance ('bout $20.00) of, well....pot. It's so they can sleep at night. Both are bi-polar and on meds. When he complains that the meds aren't doing sh*t for him, I just shake my head and say, "why do you think that is, goofball?"
I started walking recently. Not far. lol Wish I could walk as far away as possible sometimes. I put on my mp3 player and listen to books that I download from cd. Right now it's the lastest Elizabeth Berg. I love it.
That's my "escape" to focus just on me. Plus, I hope to lose 60 pounds by summer.
:
I love ya, Sis. And you know I've always loved your strength and recovery skills. If anyone can go through this and still come out with peace, serenity, and gettin' a
from HP for it....is okay in my book.
Sending loving prayers out to you, my friend. I'm praying too, that she gets back on track soon.
Comin' at ya....
I hear ya too, Sis.
Arrrgggggg! I wonder if they're ever gonna get it. I swear!
Jason's living out in the boonies with that woman. She's working in the
dietary of a nursing home to support them. He worked one week and yep, you
guessed it...."I hated it, mom. I couldn't do it. Too much noise."
Blah! Blah! Blah!
Not a pot to p*ss in, but she can make sure she gets the weekly allowance ('bout $20.00) of, well....pot. It's so they can sleep at night. Both are bi-polar and on meds. When he complains that the meds aren't doing sh*t for him, I just shake my head and say, "why do you think that is, goofball?"
I started walking recently. Not far. lol Wish I could walk as far away as possible sometimes. I put on my mp3 player and listen to books that I download from cd. Right now it's the lastest Elizabeth Berg. I love it.
That's my "escape" to focus just on me. Plus, I hope to lose 60 pounds by summer.
:I love ya, Sis. And you know I've always loved your strength and recovery skills. If anyone can go through this and still come out with peace, serenity, and gettin' a
from HP for it....is okay in my book.Sending loving prayers out to you, my friend. I'm praying too, that she gets back on track soon.
Comin' at ya....
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Prayers for your daughter that she finds her way this time around.
As for the cleaning ability... Can I send you a ticket for Boston? *LOL*
Meals will be provided as well. Do you like lobster? Italian? Clams? Irish stew? I can gather up some of Boston's best while you are here *LOL*
As for the cleaning ability... Can I send you a ticket for Boston? *LOL*
Meals will be provided as well. Do you like lobster? Italian? Clams? Irish stew? I can gather up some of Boston's best while you are here *LOL*
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