GabrielleF

for the first time since her sobriety, daughter is awol. I realise she is old enough to decide where she goes etc.etc. She is "learning disabled, but still has the understanding and maturity of a teenager. She left a phone message and sounded "high" saying she would be in around suppertime and then attend her meeting. We had a pact and she has been clean for about 3 months. Someone help me though this one. I don't want to loose my cool but no matter how I prepared myself for this. I am not ready. Help. I Really hope I'm mistaken.

BayAreaPhoenix

((((hugs)))) I wish I had some words of wisdom to pass along, but I am not a parent. I am sending prayers and hugs for you both! I can hear the worry and anxiety. Serenity prayer for a little calming coming your way. Deep breaths. :praying

Freedom1990

First of all, and I know it's hard, but try not to borrow trouble. Live in the moment, the moment right in front of you. I've been where you are at and was shattered.

You say you have a pact with her. Are there clear rules/consequences in the event she relapses?

I find that often the emotion that really overwhelms me is fear, and the fear of a parent for his/her offspring is very real.

What I have learned over the years is that God has a special plan for both of my daughters, just as he did with me, and I have faith that things are exactly as they should be.

Relapse doesn't have to be the end of the world. I relapsed after 4 years clean/sober, and today I have over 17 1/2 years clean/sober.

I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.

peaceteach

More prayers coming your way, Gab. I sometimes am able to stop the panic by just telling myself STOP, there is nothing I can do about this situation and I do not want to waste my energy on spiraling downward. Is there anything you can do right now to get your mind off your daughter and find a peaceful spot? Someone you can call or go see, somewhere you can go for a bit to get away from your house and your thoughts?

Whatever happens, please know that it doesn't have to mean "the end" of your daughter's recovery, but just a slip. Lots of addicts slip, and get right back on the wagon. Hell, lots of us slip into codie ways and get right back to taking care of ourselves regardless of what our addicts do. We are human beings and we aren't all rocks of strength.

Just try not to let yourself slip too far down the spiral. It's hard to get back up, but easier each time you do with all the tools you possess. Do you go to meetings? Maybe that is something positive YOU could think about or plan for.

Sending you prayers of peace and serenity, Gabs. XOXO

bookmiser

((((((((Gabrielle))))))))))

My thoughts and prayers are with you. How old is your daughter?
I'm assuming she still lives at home?

My son was 19 when I found out about his addiction to heroin. He's 26 now and has been clean of it for almost 3 years. Had a bout with alcohol, then pot. Now he's medicated for bi-polar disorder. He still smokes pot occasionally. We talk all the time about addiction. He knows he's an addict. He chooses to live "in the boonies" so that he's not around the drugs that will take him under. I just live one day at a time and have no expectations. When he sounds good, well...
I thank God. When he doesn't...I get off the phone, but not before I remind him that I won't talk to him when he's high. There's not alot I can do except pray that one day he's totally clean and working recovery. Until then, I do
what is do-able. As long as I keep my boundries, detach with love, and let
God do my worrying for me, I'm fine. That's my prayer for you, sweetie.
Let HP do the worrying for you. Do you attend face to face meetings?
You might consider it. Given your circumstances, face to face with people who know what your going through and can relate would be extra helpful.
Hugs,
Linda

Ann

I know it's hard, but worry won't change the outcome. Take a deep breath and then go do something to distract yourself...a good movie or a book where you can lose your thoughts to something else.

My prayers go out to that this is just a delay and she'll be home soon.

Hugs

marle

Sending some hugs and prayers. I know how hard it can be. Hugs, Marle

Lobo

(((((Gabrielle)))))

I know how hard this can be. Sometimes we worry when we really don't need to. Did you try calling her phone? How about any of her friends. Most often our minds blow thing out of proportion. If she did have a relapse she most likely does not want to deal with you right now because she is ashamed of herself. But relapse does happen. My daughter has 9 mo's. clean form drugs and she relapsed recently with alcohol. She also had a few minor setbacks when she was recovering from drug use. She always got back on track though. I'm sure you will hear from her. I will pray for angels to be around her and keep her safe.

Hugs.............Lo

GabrielleF

Thanks everyone. You all really helped. She's in. She's safe. I cant tell if she used. But at least I didn't blow my top. Only she can deal with any setback. It's her recovery, not mine. My biggest worry is the lure of the street life now that the warm weather is coming.
You guys are really wonderful.

Lobo

So glad she is safe and sound. You are a smart mom.....yes her recovery is hers to own.

BigSis

Stop in anytime you need to, Gabrielle... coming here kept me out of my own head. And that helped.

Then I also found some face to face meetings - and that helped even more.

(((hugs)))

Hangin' In

I'm with Big Sis. Meetings helped me tremendously and, of course, this board, too. Why not treat yourself to some extra recovery by finding a meeting?

Hugs and prayers for you and your daughter. I know the fear of not knowing where a daughter is.

Hangin' In