Not sure how I feel...

Old 04-08-2008, 05:32 AM
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Not sure how I feel...

In my last post my AD Lauren had come back home but as you all can guess only stayed a couple of days and I am not sure how I feel about it. I have gotten used to her not being here and the lies from her about coming back when I know good and well that chances are she is not coming back but the thing I have realized is she is staying gone longer and longer each time but it seems I know deep down when she says she is coming back that night or the next day that she is not. This time when she left, she came by my work and had the engagement ring on that my ex husband not her father had given me but I for some reason always try to think she would not do it but at this point I am sure she did......I texted her while ago and told her that I get off at 2 this afternoon and would meet her to get the ring back but being it is 7:30 am here of course I have not heard from her and doubt that I will......
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Old 04-08-2008, 05:57 AM
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She will come home to sleep and eat as long as you let her. It is safe, peaceful and then she goes "out" to do her thing. IMO that behavior is helping keep her sick. I did it for a long time thinking I was helping until a counselor, clean 26 years, told me all i was helping was to help kill her and he asked me "can you live w/ that". I changed my thinking as I won't help her destroy herself. She is still MIA of her own choosing, but I know I have nothing to do with it.

I hope the ring hasn't been hocked and she returns it. Lauren remains in my prayers.
susan
:praying
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Old 04-08-2008, 06:01 AM
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This is such a difficult time for both of you. Lauren is in there somewhere, your sweet daughter is hidden deep, deep inside an addict's prison. Lauren didn't steal the ring or anything else to hurt you... she's an addict and she's doing what addicts do.

You already know there is nothing you can do but to love her and pray for her and let her go. There are other moms here who will tell you it is a blessing they don't see their kids as much right now, so they don't have to have a front row seat to the drama.

Be extra gentle with yourself. Big hugs from mom to mom

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Old 04-08-2008, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by obsessed View Post
In my last post my AD Lauren had come back home but as you all can guess only stayed a couple of days and I am not sure how I feel about it. I have gotten used to her not being here and the lies from her about coming back when I know good and well that chances are she is not coming back but the thing I have realized is she is staying gone longer and longer each time but it seems I know deep down when she says she is coming back that night or the next day that she is not. This time when she left, she came by my work and had the engagement ring on that my ex husband not her father had given me but I for some reason always try to think she would not do it but at this point I am sure she did......I texted her while ago and told her that I get off at 2 this afternoon and would meet her to get the ring back but being it is 7:30 am here of course I have not heard from her and doubt that I will......

****{Obsesess}}}}
:ghug
Said with much love, but the time to get the ring back would have been when you saw it on her finger.

If she doesn't care about losing half of her finger, odds are she doesn't care about her hands looking pretty.

I am sorry you are going through this. Remember she is basically her drug now.
Maybe this film will help you understand what she is going through and help you with your own self.
I haven't watched all of it yet, but everyone who has gotten better that I have seen has been when people got out of the addicts way.

I saw one man who ended up sleeping on the ground outside and That was okay for him. That is what the 'addiction' tells you, it has to be your own reality that lets you know it's not okay.
Her reality is still being protected each time you let her back home, back in to sleep.
You have done everything in your power to stop her meth use. You are a Great Mom. It's time to let her fall as hard as she can in hopes of picking herself back up.
I know how much you love her, Love her enough to let her fall.
Again I am so sorry you are going through this, and I know it's much easier for me and everyone to tell you what you should be doing.
We just care and want the best for you both..

JMO~

:ghug3
Obsessed......

Here is the site for that movie, but I also left the link from Youtube in case you want to watch on your own time.

Crystal Darkness - A Film About Meth

YouTube - Crystal Darkness Part 1
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Old 04-08-2008, 10:22 AM
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I just watch most of the videos, amazing. Thanks for the info.
susan
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Old 04-08-2008, 10:25 AM
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Originally Posted by caileesnana View Post


I just watch most of the videos, amazing. Thanks for the info.
susan
Your Welcome!

I really liked them also. I had to stop for a bit because it was
getting overwhelming for me, but I am going to finish them today.

Great Perspective though from all sides.
It never ceases to amaze me how powerful crystal is...
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Old 04-08-2008, 05:35 PM
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(((Obsessed)))

In my daughter's early stages of addiction I also let her come and go for a long time. I was just plain stupid about what I was doing. We all live and learn. I pray for her safety.

Hugs..........Lo
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