thoughtless coworkers
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: CARVER, MA
Posts: 21
thoughtless coworkers
I was wondering if anyone else may have delt with this subject? I have a few coworkers who even thou we are adults still behave like children. They often bully other coworkers, and make fun of them. Well the past several months it has been me since it has gotten out, by me. What I have been going thru with ex addict husband. The things that these coworkers say and do is just blows me away. The comments of "oh I have a sinus infection and my doc just prescribed me some Vicadins, Hey I can get 10 dollars a pop for these." Other co worker stating that is not there choice, How about just some black tar heroin? and there are plenty more examples I can give. I finally lost it, and basicly told them to all **** ***!! and lost my cool. I have always walked away from this. This time I just couldn't, and lost it. And I am ashamed of my behavior. It happened about one week ago, and it is still bothering me. I wish I could just let it go.
thanks for letting me post.
tina
thanks for letting me post.
tina
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 51
Don't beat yourself up about it. Even if the words didn't comeout the way you wanted them to, they needed to be said nonetheless. They probably are feeling the same way for making their comments.
Did they know that it is a sensitive issue for you? If not, hopefully they now will understand that what they say can have an effects others. And maybe they will think a bit more before they speak.
Did they know that it is a sensitive issue for you? If not, hopefully they now will understand that what they say can have an effects others. And maybe they will think a bit more before they speak.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((((Tina)))))))
Not sure we've met. Just wanted to say hi and let ya know I'm with ya.
Not alot of people know about my son where I work now. I've only been at this store for about 6 months, so I'm not real open with most.
My son is an addict. He no longer uses heroin, but I've heard comments at work by a few about drugs. Always told in a joking manner.
Like....
The new dessert in the cafe is better than crack.
Just an example.
I'm glad I don't talk too much about myself there. At my old place of employment, everyone knew everything. They were like family and very supportive. No one would have ever joked like that there.
Some people are just insensitive when it comes to other people's problem.
They've never walked in our shoes, so they don't know the pain.
The fact that you went off on them tells me that you've been holding alot of your pain inside and you were just ready to bust. Wherever or whenever.
Just so happened to be at work. Don't feel too bad about it. I'm sure that your outburst will only be the topic of "office" gossip for a few days, then they'll move on to some other innocent person. You know who your friends are there. Open up to them and let them know how hurt you've been and explain your reason for last week. I'm sure they understand alot more than your giving them credit for. More people are affected by one form of abuse or another. 1 out of every 5 families, I'm told, have some sort of drug/alcohol/sexual/physical/mental/emotional abuse going on. Don't feel like your alone. Some just hide it better than others. Your still okay in my book.
From now on let comments like that roll off your back and move on to someone who actually cares about you.
Linda
Not sure we've met. Just wanted to say hi and let ya know I'm with ya.
Not alot of people know about my son where I work now. I've only been at this store for about 6 months, so I'm not real open with most.
My son is an addict. He no longer uses heroin, but I've heard comments at work by a few about drugs. Always told in a joking manner.
Like....
The new dessert in the cafe is better than crack.
Just an example.
I'm glad I don't talk too much about myself there. At my old place of employment, everyone knew everything. They were like family and very supportive. No one would have ever joked like that there.
Some people are just insensitive when it comes to other people's problem.
They've never walked in our shoes, so they don't know the pain.
The fact that you went off on them tells me that you've been holding alot of your pain inside and you were just ready to bust. Wherever or whenever.
Just so happened to be at work. Don't feel too bad about it. I'm sure that your outburst will only be the topic of "office" gossip for a few days, then they'll move on to some other innocent person. You know who your friends are there. Open up to them and let them know how hurt you've been and explain your reason for last week. I'm sure they understand alot more than your giving them credit for. More people are affected by one form of abuse or another. 1 out of every 5 families, I'm told, have some sort of drug/alcohol/sexual/physical/mental/emotional abuse going on. Don't feel like your alone. Some just hide it better than others. Your still okay in my book.
From now on let comments like that roll off your back and move on to someone who actually cares about you.
Linda
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Sorry to hear that your coworkers are being so heartless. I have not had this problem at my work because I have never and will never tell anyone about my husband's problems. It getting out is one of my biggest fears. Gossip can be a very hurtful thing.
But my AH has dealt with terrible things from his coworkers. He thought his boss was his friend and told him some stuff and before you know it everyone knew.
Then it got worse when he "accidentally" took the wrong pill before work (it was a sleeping pill instead of a pain pill). Apparently he could not even walk. So his boss had to drive him home. After that people whispered when he walked passed and sometimes laughed. Other people he used to be friends with would not even look at him. They wouldn't let him drive the forklift anymore. His hours got worse. It was very hard on him. It took a while, but he just kept working with his head down until finally he got over it and people started to let go of it.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it will all pass in time. Try not to feel too bad about what you said, maybe some good will come out of it and people will see that it is none of their business.
But my AH has dealt with terrible things from his coworkers. He thought his boss was his friend and told him some stuff and before you know it everyone knew.
Then it got worse when he "accidentally" took the wrong pill before work (it was a sleeping pill instead of a pain pill). Apparently he could not even walk. So his boss had to drive him home. After that people whispered when he walked passed and sometimes laughed. Other people he used to be friends with would not even look at him. They wouldn't let him drive the forklift anymore. His hours got worse. It was very hard on him. It took a while, but he just kept working with his head down until finally he got over it and people started to let go of it.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it will all pass in time. Try not to feel too bad about what you said, maybe some good will come out of it and people will see that it is none of their business.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
((((hugs))))
I try to believe that people do things like this from ignorance and not intention. I would have blown a gasket tho too.
I worked in commercial prop. mgt. for 13 years, and the thing that consistently amazed me was how child-like adults were in a work environment, and I hate to say it - the women were the worst! This was very apparent in the restrooms - The women's restrooms in public buildings take twice as much to keep clean as the men's. Maybe they feel like deficating on the wall or throwing towels all over, or whatever is OK since they finally don't have to clean it up, but I think being the property manager of a grade school would be easier than dealing with adults in the work environment!
It's terrible that you should have been having to deal with this, and give yourself a break! We Are NOT Perfect! Thank goodness for that! I know we strive for dealing with these things differently, but we are striving for it, and manage it probably more than most others who are not working at it - it doesn't mean we are going to perfect it!
I try to believe that people do things like this from ignorance and not intention. I would have blown a gasket tho too.
I worked in commercial prop. mgt. for 13 years, and the thing that consistently amazed me was how child-like adults were in a work environment, and I hate to say it - the women were the worst! This was very apparent in the restrooms - The women's restrooms in public buildings take twice as much to keep clean as the men's. Maybe they feel like deficating on the wall or throwing towels all over, or whatever is OK since they finally don't have to clean it up, but I think being the property manager of a grade school would be easier than dealing with adults in the work environment!
It's terrible that you should have been having to deal with this, and give yourself a break! We Are NOT Perfect! Thank goodness for that! I know we strive for dealing with these things differently, but we are striving for it, and manage it probably more than most others who are not working at it - it doesn't mean we are going to perfect it!
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
welcome to SR.
I think what you did or said is water under the bridge now. it's been said now it's done.
Hopefully your coworkers see how upset you were and can start acting like adults and not high school kids.
and just for the record your not alone, I probably would have been fired for smacking sh** out of at least one of them.
keep working on you.
I think what you did or said is water under the bridge now. it's been said now it's done.
Hopefully your coworkers see how upset you were and can start acting like adults and not high school kids.
and just for the record your not alone, I probably would have been fired for smacking sh** out of at least one of them.
keep working on you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
What jerks. I would file a complaint with your HR director.
Just remember that someday they might have to deal with the same thing you are dealing with and they might look back and think about how they treated you. How old are these people anyway? They sound no older than 7.
Just remember that someday they might have to deal with the same thing you are dealing with and they might look back and think about how they treated you. How old are these people anyway? They sound no older than 7.
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