question!?!?

Old 03-30-2008, 02:28 PM
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a bit of artificial reality
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Exclamation question!?!?

OK so my bf is at his moms house today. He gets to come home twice a week now cuz its his last 30 days of rehab. Anyway... I couldnt go see him today cuz Im working here in orlando, and his moms house is in the tampa bay area. Anyway, Im catholic. He was also. Well he just called me to tell me he still wants to get married in a church and everything but hes been reading these buddhism books and says he relates with them very well. And he feels more comfortable with following buddhism than he does reading the bible.. Im like, does that mean u dont believe in god???? He says no, not at all , he just likes the buddhism way. he says "it calms him"... he says he enjoys meditating and clearing his mind. Do any of u guys know about buddhism??? And do addicts do sumthing like this when they are recovering?? Its just odd for me to hear from him, cuz he used to be the one pushing ME to go to church with him every sunday!!!
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Old 03-30-2008, 02:57 PM
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Don't get undies in a bunch
 
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Unequally yoked will cause all kinds of problems. Believe me I know.
If he is following buddist ways, he would be following a very tolerant form of religion towards others but one that does not believe in God as you would know Him from the bible.
Religious choices can be no different then addictions in how we deal with them.
We can't change another...it needs be their choice.
Oh but I can reason with them? Yes..we can share the truth but if they don't accept the truth...then what?

Unequally yoked will cause all kinds of problems.
Two people going in two separate directions but trying to make the boat called marriage go in a direction that is best for both?
Two Buddist will run a boat straight. Two like thinking athiests will run a boat staright but if you hold to Catholic beliefs... you would want your boat traveling to the shore of your belief, not the shore that another belief would aim for.
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Old 03-30-2008, 03:10 PM
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It sounds like a form of distraction to me. Like maybe you might think he is meditating when he is really medicating...
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Old 03-30-2008, 03:14 PM
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My AH is Christian. Although he is not in a good place right now, he used to go to church regularly and read the bible. He also used to meditate. He said it helped to calm him (he's really "high strung") and help him feel closer to his higher power. During this time, he was probably the most healthy he has ever been emotionally and mentally. If your BF has found a way to find more clarity in his life, good for him. Its his recovery and he needs to find his way. It sounds like he is doing what he can to be healthier.
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Old 03-30-2008, 03:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Tiffany912 View Post
And he feels more comfortable with following buddhism than he does reading the bible.. Im like, does that mean u dont believe in god???? He says no, not at all , he just likes the buddhism way. he says "it calms him"... he says he enjoys meditating and clearing his mind. Do any of u guys know about buddhism???
According to AA, NA, an addict needs to turn his will and life over to the care of god, 'as we understood him'. Go to the "special-interest group' category of forums, look for the forum "spirituality', quite a bit of buddhist thought there.
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Old 03-30-2008, 03:34 PM
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Tiffany,
Yes. Changes in behavior, beliefs, actions can and will happen. And especially when they are new to recovery, they will seem to travel around the globe and back as they work through their emotional triggers.

It is very possible that he spent a lot of time examining his beliefs and spirituality while in rehab. Especially if it was a 12 step program. In a 12 step program, you turn your will and your life over to God as YOU understand him. We often speak of a HP who can restore us to sanity.
While in treatment he probably saw people with different beliefs and found that "God" was in all of them. This might have been a new concept for him.

He is probably just doing some soul searching. As adults we often take a look at the religion our parents gave us and then have to make a personal decision about it instead of just taking it on their word.

But it could be that he is just looking at some of the principles of Buddhism, not so much taking it on as a religion.
Whatever his reasoning or choice it is his. If its where he finds recovery than more power to him.
This might be one of many things you find are different in him as he is searching for strength in recovery.
I have found by talking to other Al-Anon friends that their recovering addicts seemed to be fanatics about something one day and it changed the next.
The journey to recovery can get a bit intense and you see it in their thinking, but it's theirs, and again, whatever it takes. Try not to let the changes frighten you.

And I say this with experience and kindness,
If you get out of his recovery, (his thinking and beliefs, as well as his actions) and focus on your own, you'll find a lot more peace in all of this.
I know people have suggested going to a meeting that focus's on being In a relationship with an addict.
It made all the difference to me. and allowed me to Let Go of my son's recovery.
glad he is on the road to recovery,

Cathy
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Old 03-30-2008, 03:51 PM
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a bit of artificial reality
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Thank u so much every1!! ur responses helped me alot. I understand quite a bit better now!!!
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Old 03-30-2008, 04:35 PM
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I was raised a Baptist and consider myself a Christian...however I love reading about all religions and philosophies and find helpful practices in each one. I love many of the Jewish readings and the significance of their celebrations, I love the spiritual teachings of Native Americans, the meditative qualities of Buddists, and I embrace the diversity of all these religions and find peace in studying them.

To me, my Higher Power that I choose to call God, is the same Higher Power that may be called other names by other religions.

He may be finding something he likes in Buddist readings, but that doesn't mean he is going to become one, nor does it mean he has to foresake his Christian beliefs.

I just felt compelled to share this, I really don't know his motives, but I do know that many people find peace and serenity from many different sources, just like I do.

Hugs
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Old 03-30-2008, 07:46 PM
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a bit of artificial reality
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Lol no no no... I dont wannt get married til im at least 28!!! im only 22 haha he brought up the married thing... no idea why really. Prolly cuz he knows my family is a very strong italian catholic family. He knows theyd all flip out if i didnt get married in a catholic church!!! Its just how they are.. as for me.. not thinking bout marriage for a LONG time LOL
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