frustrated12

Is it true that if someone dated someone who was unhealthy, that they do are unhealthy?

Miss Pink

yes.

bookmiser

If they weren't, they soon will be.

Nikki221

Yes...from my experience at least anyway. When I was with my XABF I picked up many of his unhealthy habits. I started not getting enough sleep at night, smoking, drinking all the time, not working out, and eating fast-food all the time. We have been broken up for a few weeks now and I'm finally starting to get back to my healthy lifestyle and habits. It's amazing how fast those unhealthy ways can harm you.

Cupicake

I just had this conversation with a friend the other day. For some reason the unhealthy personality seems to be the dominant one in the relationship. I call it the succubus or the black hole. When I was with my exah I became so unhealthy emotionally and physically. Somehow they are able to suck you into their reality and you start to live like they do. But truth be told, we wouldn't fall into this black hole if we weren't unhealthy ourselves to begin with. I was able to trace my codieness way back to childhood when I didn't even know my exah.

duet_4-8

I think that yes, it is true. If you are emotionally healthy, have strong boundaries, have a good sense of who you are and what you want from life, you aren't likely to get-or at least to stay-involved with someone who is emotionally unhealthy.

That's not to say that if you do get involved that you are 'bad' or something is horribly wrong with you. But it has been my experience that most, if not all, of us 'codies' as we call ourselves are carrying baggage from our own dysfunctional family systems, and that baggage greatly influences who and what we think we are and who and what we will accept as 'normal'.

Seeing someone else's problems is only the tip of the iceberg-it is in taking an honest and hard look at your own 'stuff' that recovery begins.

((((hugs))))