H witnessed fatal accident yesterday
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
H witnessed fatal accident yesterday
My H saw a 2 car crash yesterday where a 17 year old girl died at the scene. The driver of the car is in critical condition the person they hit is in fair condition.
The girl who died was skipping school. She was not far from her home and her parents arrived before the police and ambulance. They were of course extremely over wrought and screaming. My H wanted to try and give her first aid but was stopped by others at the scene.
My H is in bad shape he feels like he should have done something to try and help her. He is coping in the way he usually does when he is over whelmed....
I have tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. He seems pretty inconsolable right now.
So sad...Prayers going out for Alesia and her family.
The girl who died was skipping school. She was not far from her home and her parents arrived before the police and ambulance. They were of course extremely over wrought and screaming. My H wanted to try and give her first aid but was stopped by others at the scene.
My H is in bad shape he feels like he should have done something to try and help her. He is coping in the way he usually does when he is over whelmed....
I have tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. He seems pretty inconsolable right now.
So sad...Prayers going out for Alesia and her family.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Drinking/using won't make the accident go away. You cannot change what has already happened. I know it may be hard for him now......seeing something like that--but that will only add to his list of problems. I used to drink when I got overwhelmed too. In fact, I was involved in a 3 auto accident myself the other day--but no one was seriously injured. I am currently without a car---it got pretty mangled up. But--not once did I ever think about drinking/using over it--which is indeed a miracle! I was sober when it happened and I am still moving forward in my recovery at 41 days +. You have to come to the realization that drinking/using won't solve anything...long term anyway>just numbs you that you don't have to deal with the reality of life...for just a little while. My thoughts are with both you and your husband (and those who were involved in the accident.) :praying
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I heard the crash about 10 mins. later then heard all the sirens. H has just gone to corner market and it seemed he was taking too long to get home. Because of hearing sirens I began to get worried. I called the store to find out if he was still there. The clerk said he left about the time of the accident. In my heart I knew someone was dead. I was hoping it wasn't my H. I wanted to go look but, couldn't make myself go.
About 20 mins later H went back to store and called me. So it was a relief to know he was alright. He came straight home. The traffic had been blocked in both directions so he could not move as he was right behind the accident.
About 20 mins later H went back to store and called me. So it was a relief to know he was alright. He came straight home. The traffic had been blocked in both directions so he could not move as he was right behind the accident.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
About a year and a half ago, my daughter was driving home when a car in the opposite lane took a curve too wide and was in her lane. At the very last second they over corrected and went airborne, hitting and then spinning around a tree.
My daughter watched it in her rear view mirror, then went back to assist. Turns out they were friends of hers. Since it was late and no other cars were around, she told them to hop in and she'd give them a ride.
All of a sudden, they realized Brandon wasn't in the car. They jumped out and went searching. My daughter found him as he was dying, his body and head badly beaten from being ejected. He hadn't worn a seatbelt and it was his side of the car that hit the tree first.
Brandon's mother ended up at the scene just as the first responders arrived; she was on her way home from work. Her intention was to help whomever, not realizing she was about to discover her son. My daughter tried to keep her away but it was futile.
Her addiction began shortly after that.
On top of experiencing PTSD and survivor guilt, panic attacks were occurring several times a day. She kept seeing the crash and his face, kept hearing his mother's screams. She was just pitiful afterwards and it hurt terribly to watch her suffer.
Last October she finally found a psychologist and began EMDR. She no longer experiences PTSD or survivor guilt, and is managing the panic attacks.
If your husband is open to help, it sounds like he's going to need it. I'm sending you a link via PM about EMDR in case you're interested.
Prayers for all involved.
My daughter watched it in her rear view mirror, then went back to assist. Turns out they were friends of hers. Since it was late and no other cars were around, she told them to hop in and she'd give them a ride.
All of a sudden, they realized Brandon wasn't in the car. They jumped out and went searching. My daughter found him as he was dying, his body and head badly beaten from being ejected. He hadn't worn a seatbelt and it was his side of the car that hit the tree first.
Brandon's mother ended up at the scene just as the first responders arrived; she was on her way home from work. Her intention was to help whomever, not realizing she was about to discover her son. My daughter tried to keep her away but it was futile.
Her addiction began shortly after that.
On top of experiencing PTSD and survivor guilt, panic attacks were occurring several times a day. She kept seeing the crash and his face, kept hearing his mother's screams. She was just pitiful afterwards and it hurt terribly to watch her suffer.
Last October she finally found a psychologist and began EMDR. She no longer experiences PTSD or survivor guilt, and is managing the panic attacks.
If your husband is open to help, it sounds like he's going to need it. I'm sending you a link via PM about EMDR in case you're interested.
Prayers for all involved.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i am sorry for the girl & sorry for her parents. my prayers go up for them. i am also sorry for your husband. years ago i saw a hit & run on halloween nite where a 12yr. old boy was killed on his bicycle. i remember the sadness. i know it was hard on your h. & hope he will come around fast. prayers for your h. & you too spendra.hugs,
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Several years ago one of my sons friends had skipped school with her cousin and she was in a fatal accident. I went to the funeral with my son to support him. It was so sad to hear the mom screaming. On the way home I told my son that does it you are not driving until you are 18. He was taking drivers ed at the time. I let him complete the course but would not sign for a license he did get to have a learners permit.
I believe the driving age should be raised to 18 at least and probably 21. I know many families feel they need their child to drive to help out with errands. I feel that many deaths would be avoided if the driving age were raised.
The girl that was killed the other day was also skipping school she was in the back of a small car that had no real back seat to sit in. The engine of the car impaled her. I am glad my H did not get close enough to see it that.
I believe the driving age should be raised to 18 at least and probably 21. I know many families feel they need their child to drive to help out with errands. I feel that many deaths would be avoided if the driving age were raised.
The girl that was killed the other day was also skipping school she was in the back of a small car that had no real back seat to sit in. The engine of the car impaled her. I am glad my H did not get close enough to see it that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Splendra))))
Sending hugs and prayers to all involved.
When my mom died, my dad had horrible guilt, wondering if he'd gotten her to the hospital sooner, if she would have lived (she wouldn't have).
As an ER/ICU nurse for 12 years, I learned that some people are going to die, no matter what we do. We could have the best equipment, doctors, nurses, etc., and people still die.
As an RA, I totally understand how he wants to numb what he's feeling. Unfortunately, it only delays dealing with the feelings.
Hugs and prayers to you both!
Amy
Sending hugs and prayers to all involved.
When my mom died, my dad had horrible guilt, wondering if he'd gotten her to the hospital sooner, if she would have lived (she wouldn't have).
As an ER/ICU nurse for 12 years, I learned that some people are going to die, no matter what we do. We could have the best equipment, doctors, nurses, etc., and people still die.
As an RA, I totally understand how he wants to numb what he's feeling. Unfortunately, it only delays dealing with the feelings.
Hugs and prayers to you both!
Amy
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((Splendra))))))))
So sorry for what your ah had to witness. Sending prayers that
he can get past this without numbing himself too much.
It's horrible what happens to people who are in fatal car accidents.
I don't even like to drive anymore. Everyone's an idiot nowadays on the
road. My heart goes out to the family and friends of the poor girl that was
killed. Just terrible.
I've missed hearing from you. I hope that all is well in your own world.
Love ya,
Linda
So sorry for what your ah had to witness. Sending prayers that
he can get past this without numbing himself too much.
It's horrible what happens to people who are in fatal car accidents.
I don't even like to drive anymore. Everyone's an idiot nowadays on the
road. My heart goes out to the family and friends of the poor girl that was
killed. Just terrible.
I've missed hearing from you. I hope that all is well in your own world.
Love ya,
Linda
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
He's human.
A good person's instinct is to help another person in need.
You need to remind him, nothing happens in God's world by mistake. It's hard to comprehend why, hard as that is sometimes
A good person's instinct is to help another person in need.
You need to remind him, nothing happens in God's world by mistake. It's hard to comprehend why, hard as that is sometimes
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
((((Splendra))))
My eyes welled with tears when I read your thread.
I have a 19 year old son. That's scarry enough these days.
Then I read the post by Chino. My son's name is Brandon, just like the boy in that post who lost his life in a car accident.
I realized I very well could have been the Mother screaming many times when my son has been out driving or riding in a car. Or simply walking down the street.
I lost my Father to Cancer a year and a half ago. My Mom is is poor health.
I need to remember that everything that happens is in God's Plan. We may not understand, but when someone's time on this earth is through, we must learn to accept God's will. Even if we don't understand.
I will Pray for all involved. I can't imagine how it was for your Husband to see this. I hope he realizes that there was nothing he could do. It was her time.
I think after I submit this reply, I'm gonna go bend down over my sleeping son and give him a kiss on his forehead and thank God all the:praying much more tonight for having my Brandon in my life.
My eyes welled with tears when I read your thread.
I have a 19 year old son. That's scarry enough these days.
Then I read the post by Chino. My son's name is Brandon, just like the boy in that post who lost his life in a car accident.
I realized I very well could have been the Mother screaming many times when my son has been out driving or riding in a car. Or simply walking down the street.
I lost my Father to Cancer a year and a half ago. My Mom is is poor health.
I need to remember that everything that happens is in God's Plan. We may not understand, but when someone's time on this earth is through, we must learn to accept God's will. Even if we don't understand.
I will Pray for all involved. I can't imagine how it was for your Husband to see this. I hope he realizes that there was nothing he could do. It was her time.
I think after I submit this reply, I'm gonna go bend down over my sleeping son and give him a kiss on his forehead and thank God all the:praying much more tonight for having my Brandon in my life.
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I read this thread to my H and he really appreciates all the prayers and concern. ((((Chino))) thanks for the link he is interested in trying EMDR.Everyone here is so great! :ghug
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
My husband suffers from PTSD from when his brother died in the car beside him after an accident. He started using at the funeral with some wanderer hanging in the woods nearby. Please encourage your husband to get counseling
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