HELP .. just found out for sure
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((((((Jacksdaughter))))))))))))
Hi. I'm Linda. I found out my son was shooting heroin when he was 19.
I spent a very long time/money/heartache, trying to "save" him from himself.
It took a long time for me to surrender him to God. I put up a heck of a fight. lol
That was 7 years ago. Man! A long time. Today he is sober as far as I know. (sad smile)
He's medicated for bi-polar disorder and recently got his first job in 6 months.
I'm never not spoken to my son. We've always been very close. It was
really hard for me for a while, to learn that what I was doing....paying off his debts, giving him money, letting him act any way he chose to act around me, making excuses for him, and accepting the lies, was hurting him more than it was helping him. I was consumed with guilt. As his mother, how could I not have stopped this before it got out of control?
I came to sr. to find help for my son. What I found was a new life for myself.
This place, along with Alanon, reading books by Melodie Beattie on codependency, setting boundries, and learning how to say no and mean it,
saved my life.
It can help you too. I sent my son to jail for 6 months after he robbed my home. It tore me up to do it, but if I were to survive his addiction, I needed to get serious.
Today things are so much better. He's adjusting well with medication, work, and an girlfriend, whom I call egf (elderly gf. she's 11 years older than he).
On Easter Sunday, I realized just how good this woman is for my son.
She's divorced and has 2 preteen daughters, so I know I'll probably never have a grandchild. You know what, though? I'm okay with it. We live our lives by our own molds. With addicts, one day at a time is all we can look to.
So that's how my mold works. One day at a time.
I'm glad your here for support and feedback. Your son will find his way when he's ready. You need to take your focus off of him and start focusing on you and how you can still have a semi-good relationship with him, yet not let him destroy your own recovery. Your recovery of codependency. I promise things will start looking better for you once your able to Let Go, Let God.
Keep coming back. If you need to talk, pm me anytime.
Hugs from another mom,
Linda
Hi. I'm Linda. I found out my son was shooting heroin when he was 19.
I spent a very long time/money/heartache, trying to "save" him from himself.
It took a long time for me to surrender him to God. I put up a heck of a fight. lol
That was 7 years ago. Man! A long time. Today he is sober as far as I know. (sad smile)
He's medicated for bi-polar disorder and recently got his first job in 6 months.
I'm never not spoken to my son. We've always been very close. It was
really hard for me for a while, to learn that what I was doing....paying off his debts, giving him money, letting him act any way he chose to act around me, making excuses for him, and accepting the lies, was hurting him more than it was helping him. I was consumed with guilt. As his mother, how could I not have stopped this before it got out of control?
I came to sr. to find help for my son. What I found was a new life for myself.
This place, along with Alanon, reading books by Melodie Beattie on codependency, setting boundries, and learning how to say no and mean it,
saved my life.
It can help you too. I sent my son to jail for 6 months after he robbed my home. It tore me up to do it, but if I were to survive his addiction, I needed to get serious.
Today things are so much better. He's adjusting well with medication, work, and an girlfriend, whom I call egf (elderly gf. she's 11 years older than he).
On Easter Sunday, I realized just how good this woman is for my son.
She's divorced and has 2 preteen daughters, so I know I'll probably never have a grandchild. You know what, though? I'm okay with it. We live our lives by our own molds. With addicts, one day at a time is all we can look to.
So that's how my mold works. One day at a time.
I'm glad your here for support and feedback. Your son will find his way when he's ready. You need to take your focus off of him and start focusing on you and how you can still have a semi-good relationship with him, yet not let him destroy your own recovery. Your recovery of codependency. I promise things will start looking better for you once your able to Let Go, Let God.
Keep coming back. If you need to talk, pm me anytime.
Hugs from another mom,
Linda
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