Girlfriend20

So I have previously posted once telling the story between my boyfriend and I. But things within the last two days have become insanely worse.

Last night I found out that he had been kicked out of his parent's house last week for stealing money from them because he "was tired of not having money". He has been living in a hotel this entire time and I had no idea. He actually used it to buy me a bunch of stuff and assured me he hadn't been using at all. This was the last straw with the lying. The first chance I gave him was after I found out that he was actually an addict after having to take him to the hospital because he tried to kill himself. The second chance was after he relapsed on xanx (his main drug was oxy contin). After he relapsed I told him I would not put up with this. So after I found out that he had lied about getting kicked out and told him we need to take a break so that he can figure his life out, and mine as well.

So after telling him this he went on for hours about how he will do anything to keep me and that I'm the only thing in his life that has ever mattered and nothing is worth losing me. He gave me the longest, most "heartfelt" apology ever and promised me the world. He deep down has the best heart and is the only person I have ever met who truly understands me and I feel 100% comfortable and in love with. So, I believed him, all the while still holding my ground about the break and that he had to stay sober to even be considered for getting back together.

So I wake up today to 4 missed calls at 2 am last night and a text message saying "Please call me I just got arressted". He had gone back to his hotel and drank and entire bottle of tequila, went out to get something to eat, and crashed his car into a parked car. He got a DUI and his car was impounded. After listening and trying to help I told him we needed to be done for an indefinite amount of time. No break, we are broken up.

I need help guys. I have never loved someone like this, I truly saw us spending the rest of our lives together, but even if he stays sober, I will always wonder if he's using or if he's lying or if he's going to steal money from me. Why do some of the best people in the world have to be addicts =(. I know that what I need to do is end it but I really need help. I have been crying nonstop since this morning and the pain feels unbearable. He is the only thing on my mind and I am so worried that he's going to do something stupid because he's so sad. Any advice would be so appreciated

jen960

It is hard. I have been separated from my AH for four months now and I have good days and then I will have an incredibly hard day where the pain is unbearable. It helps me to come here and to go to Al Anon. I found out that my AH broke into his parents house while they were away and had a party. He left behind a broken window, a big mess and stole his mothers prescription meds. Reality check that the same stuff will keep happening... Even when my AH had moments of being in recovery I still would find myself checking his phone, checking receipts etc etc. It is too exhausting and hard to live that way when the trust is gone. I try to focus on all the good things in my life and how my life has improved since I have left him. Hope you start to feel better

hope213

i am sorry you are hurting. you decide what you want to do with your life. he seems to want to use & drink. it is rough living with an addict & knowing you can not love them clean. keep coming back, there is alot of support here for you. hugs,

biocat

Hang in there!!!

outtolunch

I am so sorry for your heartbreak.

He sounds like he is on the express train to his bottom and only he can decide when or if he's lost enough to do something about it.

If you have the resources and/or insurance, consider getting some therapy to help cope with your grief, during this difficult period.