Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Staying Out of the Middle

"I don't want to get in the middle, but . . ." is a sign that we may have just stepped into the middle.

We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people's issues, problems, or communication. We can let others take responsibility for themselves in their relationships. We can let them work out their issues with each other.

Being a peacemaker does not mean we get in the middle. We are bearers of peace by staying peaceful ourselves and not harboring turmoil. We are peacemakers by not causing the extra chaos created when we get in the middle of other people's affairs and relationships.

Don't get in the middle unless you want to be there.

Today, I will refuse to accept any invitations to jump in the middle of others' affairs, issues, and relationships. I will trust others to work out their own affairs, including the ideas and feelings they want to communicate to each other.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

How wise those words are. I have learned that other people's stuff is other people's "stuff" and unless it has my name all over it, it doesn't belong to me.

It's hard to stay out of the middle. My son and my husband used to try to communicate through me anything they were uncomfortable communicating themselves. "Tell him....." they would say. "Tell him yourself" was a good reply when I was strong enough to offer it.

Hugs