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-   -   HELP please - friend wants to try crack (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/145785-help-please-friend-wants-try-crack.html)

didxmyxtime 03-11-2008 06:03 PM

HELP please - friend wants to try crack
 
Okay, I really need advice from someone. I hope this is an appropriate place for this type of post.

My friend wants to try crack. She honestly thinks nothing will happen. She believes that she will be able to have control and keep control. She plans on using it habitually, it's not even like she wants to try it just once. Obviously, that isn't any better by any means, but I feel as though it would be easier to talk someone out of doing something that they just want to do once anyway. But she plans on doing it definitely more than once. She honestly thinks she won't get addicted at all and that she will have full control over it.

I already did my share of lecturing online but I started to become redundant and I could tell she was getting annoyed. I already told her the obvious... no one tries it just once, it's physically addicting and has nothing to do with her mental endurance against addiction, it ruins everyones life, it's not going to be enjoyable after like a few months, and etc.

I've even had a boyfriend die of heroin and so this is REALLY bothering me. I even told her I didn't want to lose someone else to an idiotic drug, and she just goes "nothing will happen." She isn't even getting too angry or defensive, she's just very "i'll be fine, whatever" about it. It's pissing me off so much, but I don't want to completely blow up on her and turn her away.

So what could I tell her other than these obvious facts that she isn't listening to? What should I do?

I really want to avoid anything to the effect of telling her mother (who probably wouldn't even able to do anything about it...but that's another story) or any other adult. I mean we'll get to that when it comes to that...but maybe I can stop it from getting to that point. Is there anything I could show her or tell her that may be more effective than rattling off the same kind of facts you hear in health class? Because even though all these facts about crack are true, the fact that they're told over and over again in health class along with completely bogus facts about marijuana kind of takes away the effect of them, and I want something that's really irrefutable and more shocking to tell her.

So yeah...any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. :/

best 03-11-2008 06:26 PM

I never tried it so I can only share from what I have read.
Still the warnings are strong enough that it is a bad idea to even try it once.

It is said that crack is so addictive that just trying it once can have a person hooked.

Something that you could maybe do... Ask her to go with you to ONE NA meeting and then ask the people who have tried crack what they think about it.

If a friend said to me they wanted to try crack, I would sure try and talk them out of it and let them know that I care about them but once they try it and are hooked...the friendship will need end. I won't put myself through the troubles that crack can bring into my life. When others use, it also spreads problems into our life.

best 03-11-2008 06:33 PM


Originally Posted by didxmyxtime (Post 1704127)
along with completely bogus facts about marijuana kind of takes away the effect of them

Just seen this part when reading a second time.

Your understanding of marijuana... How can I get you to understand how dangerous it is? Not as dangerous as other drugs but it is still dangerous.
How many facts will it take for you to accept the truth about marijuana?

Your friend has the same mindset about crack. She isn't accepting of the facts and the only way the both of you will accept them is by maybe talking with people who have been addicted to either one or messing up your own life by using them and finding out the answers for yourselves.

didxmyxtime 03-11-2008 06:39 PM

I actually don't smoke marijuana, and I know it's not completely harmless. It's just that some things are fact, like how no one has actually died from marijuana. And when a health teacher tells us that, and then we find it not to be true, it makes us think. I'm not saying marijuana isn't dangerous in other ways, but it has never directly caused a death by consumption alone, even though I have heard that in health class. So that's all I meant by that; I didn't mean to say that marijuana is completely innocent.

Although, I have to say... marijuana is more psychologically addicting while crack is definitely more physically addictive, and I would honestly not worry this much over marijuana. I mean, they're two totally different problems. No one's going to go into detox over marijuana.

Honestly though, I'm always open minded about it. If I talked to like... even just a few people who went through some crazy marijuana addiction and had terrible stories, it would make me think. And there are so many people, on TV and elsewhere that have real life stories about crack. They're real people who's lives have been ruined by crack, and I don't understand how that doesn't affect her. She can't just dismiss them as teachers or some kind of higher authority that has ulterior motives, you know?

outtolunch 03-11-2008 06:41 PM


Originally Posted by didxmyxtime (Post 1704127)
My friend wants to try crack. She honestly thinks nothing will happen. She believes that she will be able to have control and keep control.

She plans on using it habitually, it's not even like she wants to try it just once.

Speculation on my part.....she has already tried it, likes it and plans to keep on using it.

How old is she? In school?

didxmyxtime 03-11-2008 06:41 PM

Oh and just to clarify...I'm not saying that all teachers or government or anyone who's of that kind of status is spreading propaganda or is lying. I'm just saying that a lot of people, especially young people, think like that. But with someone who's just telling their life story, there's no room for that kind of accusation.

didxmyxtime 03-11-2008 06:48 PM


Originally Posted by outtolunch (Post 1704153)
Speculation on my part.....she has already tried it, likes it and plans to keep on using it.

How old is she? In school?

She's 17 and a senior in school. I don't think she has because she always tells me about everything she tries. Perhaps I have been too laid back in the past about other things she has done, but I'm not going to be about this. She has her life together, and I'm not going to let her **** it up.

She mostly wants to try it because she used to do coke a bit but doesn't anymore because somethings up with her nose, which I think was affected by both the coke and some other medical problem. Mind you, the coke thing was before I met her.

I suppose I should be suspicious that she is doing things without telling anyone, but since I drink and have never been fiercely anti-drug or anything, she's always been open with me about things. Plus, a lot of her friends who are also acquaintences of mine (wouldnt quite call them friends) are into drugs and so I don't see why she would lie about doing things that they also do or have done.

Miss Pink 03-11-2008 06:49 PM

My sister is a pot head. daily usage for 30 years.

both her daughters got pregnant at 16 to leave home.
one had 4 kids by age 23.
her husband is a crack addict.
she has hated me for last 8 years, refusing to speak to me.

Id say pot kills.

Killed our relationship, hers with her kids too.

Pot kills. Just slowly. very slowly.

didxmyxtime 03-11-2008 06:50 PM

Also, outtolunch, you're speculation wasn't too far off because she loves coke and wishes she could still do that, but is now turning to crack because she can't snort coke because of her nose.

If that isn't enough to drive a sane person crazy I don't know what is.

marle 03-11-2008 06:52 PM

I agree with outtolunch. I think that your friend has already tried crack. It makes no sense to say that you want to try a drug, use it on a regular basis and you think you can control it unless you have already tried that drug and are trying to fool yourself about its effects on you. Hugs, Marle

Free to Be 03-11-2008 06:53 PM

Ignoring Knowledge is Insanity
 
Your friend is screaming for help - about something and using a threat to attract attention.
Be a friend.
If you're shunned so be it.

marle 03-11-2008 06:54 PM

If she used coke so much that she ruined her nose she is already addicted. Crack is just coke in a form that is addictive quicker. Good luck to your friend. Sounds like she is in denial and needs rehab. Tell her parents. If she is 17 she needs help and at that age she can be forced into rehab. Hugs, Marle

hope213 03-11-2008 07:01 PM

there is nothing you can do to stop her. she is already an addict. i can tell that by your post. the best thing to do is walk away before you get in to deep with her. let her know that you love her, care for her but you are not having any part of her since she wants to ruin her life, you are not ruining yours. drugs lead to inistutions or death, always. tell her you will pray for her & do pray for her. that is all you can do. my prayers for her both.

didxmyxtime 03-11-2008 07:01 PM

So would you say that even if she concedes and agrees with me and promises she won't do it, that that would be a lie? Because that thought just occurred to me and it seems that I have no choice but to go to someone else at this point...which I really didn't want to do but at the same time I'm not repeating the grief I went through 2 years ago, nor do I want anyone else who loves her to have to go through that.

didxmyxtime 03-11-2008 07:02 PM

By the way, thank you everyone. I really, really appreciate it.

outtolunch 03-12-2008 07:09 PM


Originally Posted by didxmyxtime (Post 1704168)
Also, outtolunch, you're speculation wasn't too far off because she loves coke and wishes she could still do that, but is now turning to crack because she can't snort coke because of her nose.

If that isn't enough to drive a sane person crazy I don't know what is.

I wish my daughter, at 17, when she was using cocaine, had a good enough friend who would have told me what was going on and if not me, a school counselor. Instead no one said anything and she eventually found her drug of choice, heroin. Heck, I would have appreciated it if someone had busted her at that age for posession.

It seems to me that the common element among addicts, regardless of the substance, is a profound belief in a fantasy of a life without consequences.
The reality is there are only three consequences of addiction, insanity, institutionalization ( includes prison) and /or death.

There are no positive outcomes to addiction.

sweetpea40 03-12-2008 07:19 PM

ottolunch,
You took the words right-out-of-my-mouth.
God Bless,
Machele

caileesnana 03-13-2008 07:39 AM

I also wish some of my AD"s "friends" would have come to me when I could have gotten help early. Might have saved 7 years!

susan

Impurrfect 03-13-2008 08:55 AM

I'm a recovering crack addict and can tell you, it is NOT something you can do without it taking over your life. I was a nurse, knew all the bad things about it, how addictive it was, and I was totally addicted within 2 days of using it. I thought I was old enough and smart enough to not get addicted...how wrong I was.

I agree with the others...she's young and telling her mother may or may not do any good, but it's worth a try. If nothing else, by telling others who can help her, you may make it more difficult for her to use and she'll think it's not worth the hassle of using.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Cupicake 03-13-2008 09:50 AM

It is beyond my comprehension why anyone, now knowing how highly addictive crack is would even try it. It's like writing your own life sentence.

In reading your post I concur with everyone else. She is already an addict. Her nose, I would dare to assume, is messed up because she is still using coke. But now that her nose is all stuffed up she has to get high another way. This is the path it leads you down.....coke snorting...stuffy nose...can't get it up there so the addict decides to smoke...faster high but doesn't last as long...need more to get the effect...ongoing until all money is gone...sometimes this can progress to shooting up.

My exhusband went down this same road and that is why we are now ex's. He's tried recovery a few times even had 8 months clean this time around and went out to use again. These drugs grab a hold of you and you never forget how it makes you feel. Addicts will fight this feeling for the rest of their lives.


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