wife is missing
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: rio rico az
Posts: 2
wife is missing
wife has recently loss her appetite and lots of weight and now disappears one day at a time coming home like at 4am. Finally tired of it moved out for a few days. Now she has gone off the deep end, is very elusive, calls when she needs money. Believes the police are trying to kill her and that cars are following her and feels like she has to keep moving around before they get her. Noticed 2 of the 4 kids have bruses on theirfaces. when talking with her, if you question any of her "plans" she goes off like a firecracker screaming and throwing things. Have also been told she is working as a stripper now to which she flatly denies along with any drug use. Says her problem is me, not her. also comes up with bizarre requests for money, she said the police were extotioning her for 1000.oo dollars or she was going to jail??? she has separated herself from the rest of her family as well as they are all out to get her. What do you do in this situation? The kids need to eat but what is she spending the money on. also has wrecked her car 4-5 times in the last 3 weeks. can't let her go on like this. jb
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Do what you need to do to protect your children. Sounds like crack or meth. Both can cause violent, paranoid behavior. Your children do not need to be exposed to this. You can't help her until she is ready for help but you can protect those innocent children. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Hi jsb59,
We are assuming that your wife is abusing drugs, right? This is a great forum to learn as much as you can, as fast as you want. I would start by reading the "sticky" notes that are at the top of this forum about addicts and their behaviors. Your wife will be no different than the rest, so read with an open mind and realize that her choices right now are not anything that you can control. Also, you should realize that she is not in any shape to be parenting your children either. She sounds pretty out-of-control. You are the only ADULT in this relationship right now, jsb59, and as the adult you need to figure out what you do and don't have control over. You do have control over your own decisions at this point, you do have control over where your children would be safest and with whom. You don't have control over anything your wife is doing at this point. I am so sorry that you are facing this crisis, and I think that you are very brave and strong for seeking out this forum for help. I know that others will offer a hand up as well. Please do all the quick reading you can and keep coming back. Your kids need you terribly right now
We are assuming that your wife is abusing drugs, right? This is a great forum to learn as much as you can, as fast as you want. I would start by reading the "sticky" notes that are at the top of this forum about addicts and their behaviors. Your wife will be no different than the rest, so read with an open mind and realize that her choices right now are not anything that you can control. Also, you should realize that she is not in any shape to be parenting your children either. She sounds pretty out-of-control. You are the only ADULT in this relationship right now, jsb59, and as the adult you need to figure out what you do and don't have control over. You do have control over your own decisions at this point, you do have control over where your children would be safest and with whom. You don't have control over anything your wife is doing at this point. I am so sorry that you are facing this crisis, and I think that you are very brave and strong for seeking out this forum for help. I know that others will offer a hand up as well. Please do all the quick reading you can and keep coming back. Your kids need you terribly right now
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 266
What you can do in not give her the money, but give her food for the kids. My DOC was meth-if she losing weight really fast and is thinking everyone is out to get her she is on it really bad.
You need to first think about the kids. Get them away from her? Get an order of pretection on her restrianing order. Filing legal seperation paperwork.
You need to do something for your childern. If you find more marks you need to tell someone or if she get scared about you she could use the injuries against you.
You need to first think about the kids. Get them away from her? Get an order of pretection on her restrianing order. Filing legal seperation paperwork.
You need to do something for your childern. If you find more marks you need to tell someone or if she get scared about you she could use the injuries against you.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
What to do? Protect those children would be my first priority. Bruises on their faces? You CAN do something about that if you take responsibility for them. They are children. You are an adult. I hope you can make an adult decision for their best interest.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Hugs,
Hangin' In
'Round and 'Round I Go....
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 478
I know it's not easy having a loved one in the throws of addiction. My exhusband was the addict in my life. All of a sudden what would seem like easy decisions to make become so hard and confusing.
I don't mean for this to sound like your wife doesn't matter but I'm thinking of the situation at hand and that is, your children need to be protected whether your wife has gone missing or not and whether she is using drugs or not. Your wife will continue to do what she wants to do whether you like it or not. Your children have no choice but to be there. You have a choice to take your children out of that situation. Do what you think is right for you and do what is right for the children.
I don't mean for this to sound like your wife doesn't matter but I'm thinking of the situation at hand and that is, your children need to be protected whether your wife has gone missing or not and whether she is using drugs or not. Your wife will continue to do what she wants to do whether you like it or not. Your children have no choice but to be there. You have a choice to take your children out of that situation. Do what you think is right for you and do what is right for the children.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
I am confused.
She diappears and comes home at 4:00 AM
She has wrecked the car 4-5 times in the past 3 weeks. ( How does someone wreck the same car, repeatedly?)
Someone told you she is working as a stripper.
You moved out, leaving 4 kids in her care and don't know where the money goes and the kids are bruised.
And now you can't let her go on like this......
Your wife is behaving like an out of control crack or meth addict. You have no control over this or her. It seems to me that you have only one obligation and that is your kids. Either remove them from the house or get the locks changed and keep mom out of the house. If you are not willing or able, call DCF and ask them to remove the children for their own safety.
Loosing her kids may be the wake-up call your wife will heed or not.
She diappears and comes home at 4:00 AM
She has wrecked the car 4-5 times in the past 3 weeks. ( How does someone wreck the same car, repeatedly?)
Someone told you she is working as a stripper.
You moved out, leaving 4 kids in her care and don't know where the money goes and the kids are bruised.
And now you can't let her go on like this......
Your wife is behaving like an out of control crack or meth addict. You have no control over this or her. It seems to me that you have only one obligation and that is your kids. Either remove them from the house or get the locks changed and keep mom out of the house. If you are not willing or able, call DCF and ask them to remove the children for their own safety.
Loosing her kids may be the wake-up call your wife will heed or not.
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
What is she doing with children in her condition? They could be seriously hurt or killed. Get them away from her!
She's obviously paranoid from drug use. It only gets worse too. Her anxiety will sky rocket and the drop of a pin might rattle her to the bone.
I am deeply concerned for the children.
I will be praying for all of you tonight.
Please consider taking the children home with you, or get a family member to help.
She's obviously paranoid from drug use. It only gets worse too. Her anxiety will sky rocket and the drop of a pin might rattle her to the bone.
I am deeply concerned for the children.
I will be praying for all of you tonight.
Please consider taking the children home with you, or get a family member to help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: rio rico az
Posts: 2
The kids are hers from a previous and the problem is this is all going on in Mexico. I am a US citizen. I have contacted all the agencies that I am aware of there and little has happened.
Yes, she had numerous minor accidents with the car in a short period of time. She called me last week and said she ran into something again and needed money to repair the car. I found out later it was a lie, just a way to get more money. Sad part was when I went down there to help her get it fixed, only then did I realize that I was set up and was beaten up by the people who she is running with now.
Amazing how they can change so quickly and become so diabolical. At least this way it showed me all that I needed to see.
Still wish there was something to be done for the children but none of her family will step forward, I think they are afraid of getting what I got from her new "friends".
jb
Yes, she had numerous minor accidents with the car in a short period of time. She called me last week and said she ran into something again and needed money to repair the car. I found out later it was a lie, just a way to get more money. Sad part was when I went down there to help her get it fixed, only then did I realize that I was set up and was beaten up by the people who she is running with now.
Amazing how they can change so quickly and become so diabolical. At least this way it showed me all that I needed to see.
Still wish there was something to be done for the children but none of her family will step forward, I think they are afraid of getting what I got from her new "friends".
jb
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
I agree w/the others sounds like meth to me. Meth was my doc. Both me and my best friend/roommate were using it. He went off the deep end, thought we had cameras in the apt. and that everyone in the building was in on something, etc. I quit doing it. It's some scary stuff. That whole world....
Can you call social services for the kids?
Can you call social services for the kids?
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