Is there anything I can do?

Old 03-06-2008, 05:45 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: St. Louis, Mo
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Is there anything I can do?

A little AH drug of choice is crack/cocaine and he is "trying to quit on his own" for the umpteenth time. He has been to a few NA meetings over the many years he's been an addict, but never enough to shake a stick at, and certainly has never worked a program. He last used on Monday (maybe a rock or two), and decided to go at the quitting thing again. He was home all day yesterday and then when he went to pick up his girls from his ex's house yesterday evening for his visitation, sent me this text message:

"I am going to start going to meetings again. I am crawling out of my skin. I am having withdrawals and want to kill myself and I can't get the thought out of my mind. I need to talk to another addict, but I erased the numbers out of my phone. I don't know what to do. Please know that I love you. I have been fighting my addiction all day and I'm exhausted. I can't think, and I'm in real trouble. I think I have lost my mind. I am going to curl up in a ball when I get home."

I know there is really nothing I can do as far as getting him to quit, but what worries me is the statement about his wanting to kill himself. I really didn't know how to respond, so I just said "I love you". He was indeed curled up in a ball in the bed when I got home. I reminded him the phone numbers from the NA group are in pamphlet in his console in his car. Is there something else I should do or say? I'm at a loss. Should I be encouraging him to seek help from a doctor or pyschologist, or is this normal? He has mentioned killing himself several times in the last few months.
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Old 03-06-2008, 06:10 AM
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cinderellawkids's Avatar
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Remind him theres always the treatment option and encourage him to get to more meetings regularly, just remember only he can do it and he has to be committed to recovery.
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Old 03-06-2008, 06:20 AM
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I would suggest talk to him about seeking Medical help!!! Bless his heart and Bless your heart...That is a big burden...Pray for him and remind him of what he has to live for....I will be praying for him.
In the end, you know he has to make the choice himself.
God Bless and Hugs,
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Old 03-06-2008, 06:24 AM
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The sad fact is there is nothing you can do to help HIM besides get out of the way and let him and his HP work out his recovery. Obviously he knows about meetings and knows where he can get help. He has to take the step toward recovery. You can't do it for him.

You can do something to help you. Please continue to read on this board. There is great info here and wonderful, wise folks who have been walking this recovery road a long time. Read, listen and watch what they are doing. If you see something that you think might work for you, then you are welcome to try something someone else did in their addicted situation.

You can also go to face to face meetings that are like a support group. I added meetings to my life 5 1/2 years ago and I wouldn't take $1,000,000 for what I've learned there. You can go to Al Anon or Nar Anon. In my town Al Anon is the only meeitng offered. To find a meeting, you can all 1-866-4AL-ANON.

One of the first things they taught me were the 3C's:

You did not CAUSE his addiction.
You can't CONTROL his addiction.
You can't CURE his addiction.

I hope to see you around some more.

Hugs and prayers,
Hangin' In
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Old 03-06-2008, 06:39 AM
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I am so sorry for your pain and for your husband's pain! Hangin' said it all- stick around, read, and try to find a meeting where you can get support. The addict in my life is my son so my angle on addiction is slightly different but I do know that addicts have to do this for themselves. We cannot love them into recovery- many a person has found "their time to get sober" by simply walking into an AA or NA meeting and starting to work a program.

Hugs and Prayers,
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Old 03-06-2008, 06:47 AM
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I dont have any advise but what you to know you and your husband will be in my thoughts
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