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Old 03-04-2008, 08:26 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Don't get undies in a bunch
 
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Ann will need share her reply. Not an excuse from him but her way of handling things *LOL*

Ask Ann about Hormone pills.
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Old 03-04-2008, 11:21 PM
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My Eh-H told me he did meth because I wore PJs too much.
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Old 03-05-2008, 12:16 AM
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Me: Why is there a check missing in the middle of the check book?

Him: Ah geez honey, I'm so sorry that you found that. I used the check to buy you a gift so that when you see that the drug test is negative, you won't feel so bad, and to show you how much I love you and I know we can get through this!

2 days later... drug test comes in... positive for meth. I ask what the check was for... it was used to buy that powder stuff to make the tests show negative.
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Old 03-05-2008, 12:21 AM
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Hey... I'm going to see X movie... want to go (knowing I would say no, but really made a big deal of me going).... he comes home in an hour. I ask why he is home early... and he says... ooooh oooh yeah... just a stupid movie. So I left and wanted to be home with you!

Me: Really? Hmmm... show me your movie stub.

Him: Oh definitely... it's in the car.

So we look together... there is no stub. Yet, I just know he is lying!
So he breaks down and takes me outside and says that he went to a strip joint for a friend's bachelor party! So I believe that. Later, the truth came out, it was really a drug run and he had to think of something else to take my mind off of it. And the only reason why he told me the truth is because we were going to be seeing said friend!
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Old 03-05-2008, 04:07 AM
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Originally Posted by best View Post
Ann will need share her reply. Not an excuse from him but her way of handling things *LOL*

Ask Ann about Hormone pills.
LOL, I may surely rot in hell for enjoying this moment so much. I've told it before but I still savor the moment and am happy to share

I had just returned home from having dental work done...and had picked up Tylanol 3's for the pain...and also my renewed prescription for hormone pills. I immediately hid the Tylanol 3's.

My son, who has a reading disability as well as his addiction, saw new pills (hormones) on my dresser and stole them thinking they were the Tylanol 3's and took half of them.

Discovering them missing that night, I asked and he confessed to taking them. "You will grow breasts" I said with a straight face, "that's what people who have sex change operations take...and they only take one or two a day."

Horrified, he checked every day for a month.
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Old 03-05-2008, 05:07 AM
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"You will grow breasts" I said with a straight face, "that's what people who have sex change operations take...and they only take one or two a day."
:rof :rof
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Old 03-05-2008, 06:53 AM
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Several keepers on here!
I think the "conversation" I will remeber most is when my son was charged with a DUI.

"It was a fluke!" he said. "I usually take the back roads when I'm drunk!"

or..
A doctor in the hospital telling me he had no drug problem after an OD. "He was upset that your daughter (his sister) was pregnant. He just took too many"
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Old 03-05-2008, 07:08 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Ann View Post
"You will grow breasts" I said with a straight face, "that's what people who have sex change operations take...and they only take one or two a day."

Horrified, he checked every day for a month.
I should not have said a word. My face hurts from laughing and I had seen this before. It is still funny *LOL*
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Old 03-05-2008, 02:08 PM
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next time, Ann, tell him he will grow a uterus and start menstruating!


Great thread!
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Old 03-05-2008, 06:14 PM
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I'm a kleptomaniac.
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Old 03-05-2008, 07:11 PM
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But it's PRESCRIBED!
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Old 03-05-2008, 07:35 PM
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After a 4-day crack binge, I checked my exah's pickup and found a sweatshirt reeking of my perfume. His explanation "it was the guy I was with, some guys wear a lot of cologne". Of course, this was found along with a motel cup with Baileys in it (which he doesn't drink) and some extra long cigarettes (a "guy" kind??!!) Needless to say, EXah.
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Old 03-05-2008, 07:47 PM
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My favorite that worked because I wasn't smart enough to think of a new one each time...

I lost it (when asked where my money went)
Lost money each week, she just thought I was dum or had holes in my pockets and dum.

Couldn't use that one any more( it is good to be in recovery)...she understands the ways of Anon recovery now.
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Old 03-05-2008, 07:50 PM
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Can't afford to go to rehab....But where did you get all the money to buy your drugs?
Always makes me wonder

Hugs,
Machele
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Old 03-05-2008, 07:57 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sweetpea40 View Post
Can't afford to go to rehab....But where did you get all the money to buy your drugs?
But that makes perfect sense.

You can't steal money to do good things. That just wouldn't be right. *LOL*
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Old 03-05-2008, 08:24 PM
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Missing money ... that reminds me.

I asked XABF where the $600 he "collected" (intercepted) from my customer went.

"I put it in my shoe to keep it safe. I must have been walking around all day losing $100 bills."

Yeah right.....
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Old 03-05-2008, 09:05 PM
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Just laughing about this one again . . .

After discovering some an aluminum foil pipe out back hidden on a high shelf behind some things, I eventually asked what was going on with the foil out back. He said, "Oh, yeah. I've been using that to smoke pot." Sure, he passed up the 2 bongs, the bowl, the one-hitter, and the rolling papers he kept openly in the house for the home-made foil pipe he hiding out back. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
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Old 03-06-2008, 11:39 AM
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Here another one: What did you do with your money this week-I had to take care of business-then asks can you help me get a refund on this stuff because I failed the **** test and I want my money back because it did not work.
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Old 03-06-2008, 02:35 PM
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"It's your fault I got DUI'ed.... If you hadn't hidden my car keys, I wouldn't have had to borrow my friend's car and then I wouldn't have taken the back roads"

Now, you ask - where were the back roads leading to? The drug dealer's house of course!
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Old 03-06-2008, 02:45 PM
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It's your fault I got the DUI, because I had to drive 8 hours to get drugs after we moved.
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