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-   -   Best one yet.... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/145154-best-one-yet.html)

Newcomer... 03-03-2008 10:15 AM

Best one yet....
 
So - I thought I had heard it all.... Every excuse, every guilt trip... I didn't think he could come up with anything to surprise me...
Until I got an email from my ex explaining that his drug problem is my fault... because I wanted a relationship and he didn't - so he used drugs to push me away and got hooked on them...
Yes, clearly - my fault... (sarcasm here in case you can't tell...) Because apparently the old fashioned way of breaking up with somebody (you know - just TELLING them that you don't want to be together anymore...) wouldn't have worked.

That's the best one I've heard for a while... Though I suppose he's making strides - before he had no drug problem... Now he does, but it's my fault.

Ugh...

Sierra-Jess 03-03-2008 10:19 AM

LOL, hmm, wouldn't you just love to hop in his head and beat "Justification" over the head and tell it to wake up and accept responsibility. At least, you can approach it with a sense of humor, humor is helping me deal with some of my AH's issues right now also. Hang tough.

ANGELINA243 03-03-2008 10:21 AM

:c029: Now that's a first for me--what a jerk! Drugs can definitely make us do some/say some pretty insane things at times. You obviously know that he is just blaming you--trying to rationalize his own behavior>may even be trying to make you feel guilty for his using. Don't sweat it! that is just typical addict bevior--I know>I used to be where he is.

best 03-03-2008 10:22 AM

I tried that and it didn't work *LOL*

argh! some codies are more stubborn then I was I guess *LOL*
Well no not really. I was met with the words.... "I am not and will not make your choices for you."

It is good that you see things for what they are.

Can't be my fault so it must be your fault.

Newcomer... 03-03-2008 10:31 AM

Yes - I know.... I've gotten pretty good at letting the things he says just roll off - in one ear and out the other as they say.... But this one was pretty good - so I thought I'd share. I wonder if he knows how many people are getting a good laugh out of that one? Maybe I should thank him for that...

I have no intention of replying to him - but I would love to remind him that he didn't have a drug problem when we were together, so how could it possibly be my fault?

outtolunch 03-03-2008 10:37 AM

Best response is no response.

I think this excuse deserves to be nominated for best worst excuse recognition.

best 03-03-2008 10:37 AM


Originally Posted by Newcomer... (Post 1694332)
but I would love to remind him ...

Just as you have learned to let his fantasies that come out of his mouth go in one ear and out the other... he would already have selective hearing in place that has him do the same with the truth. A reply would fall on deaf ears.

Newcomer... 03-03-2008 10:40 AM

Thanks for the reminder... I won't contact him - I've learned that it drives him much more crazy when I ignore him anyway... The best response IS no response - it's much more effective in getting my point across as well!
But at least I can throw out all those little things I'd love to say to him to you guys instead! Besides - you guys can see the humor in them anyway - he doesn't quite appreciate my sense of humor about these things in the same ways!

Newcomer... 03-03-2008 10:40 AM

I think a "Best Worst Excuse" thread may be in order....

rahsue 03-03-2008 10:58 AM

I hope when he gets sober he remembers that stupid remark, lol

best 03-03-2008 11:23 AM


Originally Posted by rahsue (Post 1694364)
I hope when he gets sober he remembers that stupid remark, lol

Some of them we do remember and some of the humor that Anons share we see as funny as well *after we get sober*

Jen 03-03-2008 01:01 PM

Oh yeah, I can relate!! My ex-MIL told me the reason her son (my now EXAH) does drugs is because I'm such a B*&#(!!! I told her had she learned tough love and stopped enabling him 30 years ago neither of us would be dealing with this today!!!

Unbelievable!!!

Boy am I glad I divorced him!!!!

Hang in there!!! You're taking care of you and that's all that matters! :)

Jen

Jenn985 03-03-2008 01:04 PM

LOL. Well if it makes you feel better.. It's my fault too he uses! That's such a wonderful excuse. Too bad I can't stop the sarcasm ;)

MsPINKAcres 03-03-2008 01:14 PM

Remember your refrigerator's not blue!!!!

BayAreaPhoenix 03-03-2008 01:36 PM

LOL! Wow - the things we hear! I haven't gotten this one... yet. I won't be surprised if it comes now!!!

Newcomer... 03-03-2008 01:59 PM

Ah, the mother in law... We weren't married - but I can SOO relate.... it's clear where he got his knack for excuses and pawning off responsibility!!!
According to her, it's my fault he stole my credit card too!!!!!!

Glad to hear I'm not the only one to blame for their addict's drug/alcohol problems!!! ; )


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