obsessed

As I said in my previous post after being in the hospital since Friday with my 19 year old AD Lauren she had told me yesterday that she was leaving today and she stayed true to her word!! She just got up raising hell about the food in the house..not good enough for her... and the only reason she is leaving again is that "boy/man" is the only one who gives a damn about her..she started naming "friends" that had not called or came to the hospital...so when she nobody cared I calmly said what about me she looked at me and said you don't count, you have to care and I thought I don't have to and never did I ever think this but I am begining not to care anymore!! You are all right this madness has to stop NOW!! I am so sick of getting cursed out and being treated this way...I know I am the only one who can change it but I know I have came a long long way but I realize now I have an even longer way to go!! I can do it though and will!!

hello-kitty

Just to make you feel better she's only leaving for the drugs. It's not personal. And it probably has nothing to do with that guy or her friends. You just can't compete. No one can compete with meth. Don't take it personal. Set boundaries. Follow through. That's the only way you can help her.

grateful2b

Obsessed :ghug3
Its the addiction talking.....your beautiful daughter is buried under it.....God when I think of all the times I'd be standing there with my heart hanging out after expecting my daughter to see or care about how she was hurting me...futile endeavor, because she could not see, she could not feel.....it was all about the addiction.....

blue pansy

She knows you care, she can feel it even under all the layers of drugs. You will always care, but there's this thing called detaching with love. Very hard to do, but really necessary for your own sanity.
It's a mom thing to take care of your daughter, especially when they are sick or injured, but theres a limit to taking care of them. She's a big girl and most of the time takes care of herself.
If she were in detox or rehab, you wouldn't be there to take care of her.
It's time to take care of you.

caileesnana

:sorryThe worse they act in their mind makes it easier to leave. They justify what they're doing w/ all the lies and BS they imagine.

Remember, someone told me this and I still think of it, she IS in there, way deep. But your daughter is covered up by all the drugs and addictive thinking.

More prayers,
susan\

marle

Sending hugs, you are seeing addiction in all its glory. It is not personal although it sure can feel that way sometimes. Last night on Intervention, they had a meth addict. She sat in a room full of people who loved her and behaved as if there was nothing abnormal about her life, that she was completely happy and that everyone else had a problem. She was the coldest person I have seen on that show. It was scary seeing that and knowing that my daughter is the same way inside as that girl. It is just that my daughter has not been backed into a corner yet but I know if she were I would see the same inhumane thing before me. It will only get worse with your daughter. She will just become more uncaring. She may get better at the smoozing as she learns what works best to get her way. But underneath there is a stone heart made that way by addiction. Right now it is all about the drug. Take care of you, if you need to stop caring to remove yourself from the chaos for a while, by all means do it. Hugs, Marle

BigSis

Every event has a reason, I believe that.


When I could not detach with love... My HP allowed me to detatch with anger. In any case, I desperately needed to detatch.

Perhaps that is what is going on with you, as well.


What I also know is that over time, things changed... again and again. I do have my girl back, and she is the kind and beautiful baby I brought into the world. She is changed by her addiction... but the good part is still there.


I wish you the best.

justjo

Good for you Obsessed. You can do it. Just know that you have done the best you can for her and the choices she makes now in her life, are hers. I went through this madness with my son for 8 yrs and to cut it short, the best thing I did was to give up and let him go. I got on with my life. I always let him know I loved him but I made sure he knew drugs and alcohol were not permitted in my life. Today, he makes me proud. Shutting him and his crap out of my life and using the words NO THANKS helped him slowly see the light.
A hug for you..

sojourner

At one of my meetings, the moderator (himself a recovering addict) passed out a Q-Tip as a reminder for us family members to

Quit Taking It Personally.

Hope that helps. I still have that Q-Tip.

grateful2b

oops, meant to say she could not feel or see where I was...