jerect

AH has gone to two meetings this past week and he is planning on going to as many as his schedule allows next week. Right now he seems like he really wants sobriety. My problem is I don't trust him. I doubt every thing he says, his whereabouts and every thing else in between.

Will I ever get my trust back? How in the world do I even begin to get that trust back. He has lied to me so many times, stolen from me, (cause when you bring home less then what you make and tell me that is all you made, to me that is stealing) and I consider what he did as unfaithful because for many months he hid his drug abuse from me and denied it when I confronted him.

It's alful to be in love with someone that you can't trust.

We are going to family counciling to try to repair our shatterd marriage, though I think until he gets 100% sober and is in recovery our marriage can't be repaired. I finally found an alanon group and it has helped me tremendously. It helped me see a different prespective on a lot of things concerning my AH's drug abuse and how I'm reacting to it.

But I still don't trust him... I don't believe a word he says. I want to but I can't..

CatsPajamas

Jerect,

Time takes time. Before you can trust him, you have to learn to trust yourself again. That was HUGE for me. I had to learn to set boundaries and be willing to back them up.

My biggest thing was and IS - that the words and the actions have to match up. I spent so much time wanting to believe my ex when he was just lying to me. Plain and simple. He would say one thing and do another, and then when I would ask him about it, he'd say "but I wasnt doing that" ... so I got to where I didn't trust him AND I didn't trust myself or my own judgment.

You may learn to trust him again in time. BUT there is no time table.

Time takes time.

Hugs
Cats