Finally went to Family group at Treatment
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kenai, Alaska
Posts: 21
Finally went to Family group at Treatment
Well, last night I went to family group at the treatment center my husband is at. I went in with alot of reservations. I butted heads with one of my husbands counselors and was pretty sure it was going to be a useless 4 hours. But when we got in there and I met the other clients I felt very comfortable. Not only that but the counselor that was doing the therapy was great. Very down to earth and a recovering addict herself- 10 years now. I was hesitant at first to share my feelings. My husband got up in front of me and everyone else- there are only 5 other patients, and I was the only family that showed up- and read a poem about the fact that he was an addict. It was very emotional to hear those words come out of his mouth after so many years of him saying he didn't have a problem. As the therapy session progressed, she asked some tough questions and I had to little choice but to respond honestly and of course emotionally. I let out some of the feelings that I have been holding inside for what seems like forever. I was able to tell him and everyone else that this was a last-ditch effort and if the treatment didn't work then I refused to put myself and my children through anymore of the hurt. I told them that I couldn't imagine my life without my husband but at the same time, it was killing me inside to be with someone who seemed to care only for himself. It was a very tearful 4 hours but I feel a little better than I did yesterday. he and I have homeork to do and then on Sunday we have a individual counseling session with the family counselor. I know it;s going to be difficult as I have to tell him exactly how he's hurt me and my family in the past. I have a difficult time letting my emotions out. I guess I'm afraid that if I open up the gate to my emotions, I'll be flooded. Let me know if anyone has done this before. Thank you.....Julie
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
How fortunate the rehab has a family program - many do not. Bittersweet and difficult - yes, but so cathartic!
Glad you got to be honest with him... prayers that this can be his time.
((hugs))
Glad you got to be honest with him... prayers that this can be his time.
((hugs))
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Julie, I too went to family meetings at one of the rehabs my son was in, and it was those meetings that led me to find my 12-step meeting. The family meetings were excellent, but I knew I needed more, meetings that would continue long after my son was finished there.
Yes, it's emotional but it's also good to get the emotions you have "stuffed" for so long, out.
Sending hugs and prayers that this all leads to better days ahead for both of you.
Hugs
Yes, it's emotional but it's also good to get the emotions you have "stuffed" for so long, out.
Sending hugs and prayers that this all leads to better days ahead for both of you.
Hugs
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Oh, Julie, come sit by me and let me tell you about family week at my daughter's rehab. Do you have about 3 days?
Hmmm, how do I put this? Family week was a great week and one of the most awful, too. Great because it helped give a boost to our recovery, both ours (husband and me) and our AD's. It was awful, as in awfully hard, because we had to be gut honest and share things we had never shared before.
We were given the homework to write down 3 incidences of our daughter's using and how we felt. She, in turn, had to write down 3 incidences about her dad and I, something we had done, and how it made her feel. I remember being so scared to do this for fear I'd make her feel worse than she already felt. The counselor told me, "You cannot make her feel any more guilty than she already feels."
It was one tough week, but one we definitely need to go through in order to begin our journey of communicating and being honest.
So don't look at it as a bad thing, but think of it as an opportunity to let all that out, all that stuff that you have been bottling up for so long. You can't keep stuffing it. It will only turn into bigger and bigger hurts and resentments.
Hugs and prayers for you. I'm proud you're doing this.
Hangin' In
Hmmm, how do I put this? Family week was a great week and one of the most awful, too. Great because it helped give a boost to our recovery, both ours (husband and me) and our AD's. It was awful, as in awfully hard, because we had to be gut honest and share things we had never shared before.
We were given the homework to write down 3 incidences of our daughter's using and how we felt. She, in turn, had to write down 3 incidences about her dad and I, something we had done, and how it made her feel. I remember being so scared to do this for fear I'd make her feel worse than she already felt. The counselor told me, "You cannot make her feel any more guilty than she already feels."
It was one tough week, but one we definitely need to go through in order to begin our journey of communicating and being honest.
So don't look at it as a bad thing, but think of it as an opportunity to let all that out, all that stuff that you have been bottling up for so long. You can't keep stuffing it. It will only turn into bigger and bigger hurts and resentments.
Hugs and prayers for you. I'm proud you're doing this.
Hangin' In
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