Not Even Divorced Yet!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: DUBLIN, GA
Posts: 35
Not Even Divorced Yet!!!
WELL I POSTED A FEW DAYS AGO AND SAID ME AND MY AH ARE GOING TO CALL IT QUITS. PAPERS ALREADY MADE UP AND SIGNED. HE DOES NOT HAVE THE MONEY YET TO HAVE THEM TAKEN TO COURT HOUSE AND FILED YET SO ITS STILL PENDING RIGHT NOW. BUT JUST YESTERDAY I PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER ABOUT HIM AND HIM SEEING SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY.... AND GET THIS ITS MY BEST FRIENDS SISTER. WE ALL HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS AND THEN SHE AND HIM GO BEHIND MY BACK AND START SEEING EACH OTHER. WE ARE NOT EVEN DIVORCED YET!!! THAT B&*(*&!!!! EVEN THOUGH I DONT WANT HIM ANYMORE AND I HAVE BEEN SO UNHAPPY FOR A LONG TIME. ITS JUST I CANT BELIEVE SHE WOULD START SEEING HIM KNOWING THE SITUATION HE HAS PUT ME IN AND HIS ADDICTIONS. I AM SO VERY HURT RIGHT NOW BUT NOT BY HIM BUT BY HER. THEY TRIED TO KEEP IT A SECRET FROM ME AND I JUST HAD TO FIGURE IT OUT AND CONFRONT HIM ABOUT IT. HE LIED TO ME AGAIN AND THATS THE ONE REASON WE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE... BECAUSE OF HIS LIES. THAT REALLY HELPS THE SITUATION DONT IT. I COULD JUST SCREAM AND LAUGH AT THE SAME TIME!!!! THANKS FOR LISTENING.
Survivor
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 149
Now this is just me....so please don't get offended......you are divorcing the man.....he lied to you and you can bet he has lied to her....they are never wrong, nothing is ever their fault and they can be very convincing....I have heard many times how it was all my fault, I was this, I was that and the reason he used was because I did this or did not do whatever, anything but what it is, that he was a lying addict......so why are you not furious at him, after all he was the one that lied to you and betrayed you....I am not saying she is not at fault, but most of us are well aware of how manipulating a addict can be and maybe she just fell for his BS.....when we decide it is over, all parties have the right to move on.....sorry this is hurting you, but place your focus on you and not him and what he may or may not be doing.....you are the winner here, just think of what she is in for.....
Said with love...
Said with love...
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
My H and I split up once and he started seeing someone else shortly after he left. I was very hurt and went back to him so he would drop the OW god I wish I had just let him go ya know...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: DUBLIN, GA
Posts: 35
Oh My God Honestly I Could Care Less What He Does. I Exspected (cant Spell) This From Him, Just Not From Her. I Am A Little Mad At Him But It Just Gives Me A Bigger Reason To Move On. Us Splitting Was Giving Me Time To Get My Head Together And Not Rush Out And Get Into A Relationship. Right Now I Am Not Ready. I Am Just Blown Away By It. Caught Me Off Guard. Just A Week Ago He Was Begging Me To Stay With Him And Everything And Now This. Just Kinda Crazy.
I Really Cant Explain The Emotions I Am Having About It Right Now. I Feel Sorry For Her In A Way Too Because She Has No Idea What She Is Getting Into. She Also Has Kids And We Are Or Were Friends And How Do I Go To Her And Tell Her What She Is Doing Is Wrong. Should I Just Stay Out Of It Or What Should I Do. Again She Went Behind My Back So I Shoudl Not Even Care But At The Same Time I Do. I Guess That Is Just Me. I Dont Want Her To Get Hurt Like I Did. Then Again I Should Care Less. Haha. Just Kinda On The Fence About It. It May Just Be A Rebound Thing For The Both Of Them. She Just Recently Got A Divorce Too. So I Guess I Am Just Going To Sit Back And Let It Unfold.
I Really Cant Explain The Emotions I Am Having About It Right Now. I Feel Sorry For Her In A Way Too Because She Has No Idea What She Is Getting Into. She Also Has Kids And We Are Or Were Friends And How Do I Go To Her And Tell Her What She Is Doing Is Wrong. Should I Just Stay Out Of It Or What Should I Do. Again She Went Behind My Back So I Shoudl Not Even Care But At The Same Time I Do. I Guess That Is Just Me. I Dont Want Her To Get Hurt Like I Did. Then Again I Should Care Less. Haha. Just Kinda On The Fence About It. It May Just Be A Rebound Thing For The Both Of Them. She Just Recently Got A Divorce Too. So I Guess I Am Just Going To Sit Back And Let It Unfold.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Well, Bless her heart, I'd kind of feel sorry for her, she doesn't have any idea of what she's getting in to.
And I think I'd be thankful to her, for maybe making it easier for me to get out of the current situation, while he's devoting his energy HER way.
Yep, Bless her heart....
And I think I'd be thankful to her, for maybe making it easier for me to get out of the current situation, while he's devoting his energy HER way.
Yep, Bless her heart....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Personally, I wouldn't say anything to her. I know even if someone had told me what life with my now XABF was going to be like, I would have thought "not with ME, it will be different". Some lessons we have to learn the hard way.
I'm sorry you're going through all these emotions, but it is all a part of grief. I say keep the focus on you, and let them find their own way. It bothered me when my x got with someone else, but when I really thought about it, I am way better off without him.
Oh, and ((((Moose))))...you're sounding like quite the southern belle
Must be all that FL sunshine soaking in!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorry you're going through all these emotions, but it is all a part of grief. I say keep the focus on you, and let them find their own way. It bothered me when my x got with someone else, but when I really thought about it, I am way better off without him.
Oh, and ((((Moose))))...you're sounding like quite the southern belle
Must be all that FL sunshine soaking in!Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 325
Hey Lita,
Not sure but I think I know how you feel.
I felt betrayed in a way- There were many people in our lives who would be so shocked by my ex's behavior. They would call me- and tell me they just couldn't believe that he could act the way he was- I also felt a sense of judgement- you know that old "why doesn't she just not talk to him (hello? I was married to him- have kids with him)??"
Then I would find out they were the best of friends-
In the beginning it really upset me. I made the phone calls- a mistake. It's not like they are not well aware of his addiction or actions. Those "friendships" never last long- it's who and what he is- an addict and a user- not who anyone else is. The ironic thing is- these people actually call me up to tell me what he did to them. No I don't answer the calls. The latest, "I can't believe he would do this to me." Hello? He did it to his own children, what is so surprising?
I think I know how you feel- heck we all know and say the addict is sick- we don't expect much from them. We know that they can't be trusted. Our friends, that can feel like a double betrayal to me. Especially when it is a "secret."
Lastly- I look at those people as gifts, that I sometimes did not recognize at the time. An addict who is not in sober or in recovery is to me- a heck of a needy person- they can wear a person out. (even when the divorce is over!!) Dang I am grateful for whoever is taking care of him tonight! Reality- they are also taking care of me in a way, it is peaceful and quiet in our home tonight.
Tell us how mad you are- we care and I at least have been there. And I will bet you, it won't be long, unless she is doing drugs with him, this will not last long. Prepare yourself for the next surprise, when your friend or her sister are so surprised and want to talk to you and tell you, "....you won't believe." No, I doubt it will be anything that is so unbelievable!!
Take care
Not sure but I think I know how you feel.
I felt betrayed in a way- There were many people in our lives who would be so shocked by my ex's behavior. They would call me- and tell me they just couldn't believe that he could act the way he was- I also felt a sense of judgement- you know that old "why doesn't she just not talk to him (hello? I was married to him- have kids with him)??"
Then I would find out they were the best of friends-
In the beginning it really upset me. I made the phone calls- a mistake. It's not like they are not well aware of his addiction or actions. Those "friendships" never last long- it's who and what he is- an addict and a user- not who anyone else is. The ironic thing is- these people actually call me up to tell me what he did to them. No I don't answer the calls. The latest, "I can't believe he would do this to me." Hello? He did it to his own children, what is so surprising?
I think I know how you feel- heck we all know and say the addict is sick- we don't expect much from them. We know that they can't be trusted. Our friends, that can feel like a double betrayal to me. Especially when it is a "secret."
Lastly- I look at those people as gifts, that I sometimes did not recognize at the time. An addict who is not in sober or in recovery is to me- a heck of a needy person- they can wear a person out. (even when the divorce is over!!) Dang I am grateful for whoever is taking care of him tonight! Reality- they are also taking care of me in a way, it is peaceful and quiet in our home tonight.
Tell us how mad you are- we care and I at least have been there. And I will bet you, it won't be long, unless she is doing drugs with him, this will not last long. Prepare yourself for the next surprise, when your friend or her sister are so surprised and want to talk to you and tell you, "....you won't believe." No, I doubt it will be anything that is so unbelievable!!
Take care
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