frankly

So here we are. We have reached a point in our recovery...that we know. We know something has to change because nothing is changing. The obvious is staring us in the face, and we hesitate. That first step sure looks way too steep to take. What if I fall and go tumbling out of control? Wait a second, I've already fallen and gone tumbling out of control. So we hold our breath and inch forward to test the waters of recovery. We find the warm water soothing and wade in further until we are fully immersed. We swim around and discover a long lost life.... our own.

But then something happens. We start concentrating on ourselves, disecting our actions or inactions. All that energy that had been directed at someone else, is now square on ourselves. And it's getting a little bit hot. (-:

So what does a codie do in this situation? I myself, tear myself apart. I chastise myself for not doing something this way, or for doing something else wrong, stupid stupid stupid what's wrong with me, I know better. It can be little things and big things, doesn't matter, if I make one simple mistake, I'm all over myself about it. I have no mercy for myself. I'm horrified at myself if I do or say something wrong.

I have placed the expectation on myself to be Perfect. Do everything right, no margin for error. I expect it of me. So I have taken my codieism and converted it to perfectionism. With very little room to just be human. No room for mistakes or regressions. Gotta do it right.

So today after reading a little, I realized I'm not alone in those traits. I think most codies expect more of themselves than anyone else in this big world. If we screw up, heck we will go out and draw and quarter ourselves, don't even need someone else to do it for us.

So why do we put ourselves to the standard of Perfection? Is it a residual element of the superwoman or superman that we took on as codies?

So for anyone out there beating themselves up for not doing something the "right" way, I'm declaring this Casual Wear Monday for the Mind. The second monday of every month (mark your calanders) your mind is allowed to dress down and just relax. Throw on some sweats, break out the chocolate bomboms and bask in the fact that mistakes are part of being human. No putting yourself down for anything, no pressure of any kind. Heck, I just may even go out there and deliberately do something the wrong way, just to practice not being perfect. (Would that be trying to control my Perfection?)
And yes, for those of you who may be thinking this, I lost my mind a long time ago. (-;

Love you Guys
B

frankly

I know Happy, I think we need to just go paper roll our own houses, splatter them with eggs and not even think about cleaning it up. How would that be for casual monday? Give the neighbors and everyone else something to really talk about. LOL

B

kelsh

Hi Everyone,

I think almost everyday is a causal Monday at my house. Now that we are retired my husband and I do get pretty relaxed most days.

The household chores basically get done by me and he works on his hobbies in the basement. I spend more time on my computer than I should but I do benefit from it.

My mind is always thinking and learning new ways to live a good life sober & without much depression.

I see my doc about once a month and still take medication for my depression.
I have done this & stayed sober 19 years now...so am so grateful for my sobriety and all the support here on Sober Recovery.

kelsh

cinderellawkids

Id like to join casual Monday, but thinking Ive already been casual last few days so not sure what to do for myself.
But taking a few hours Friday off from, mom, wife and assistant was great and I laid in my outside hammock and fell asleep

BayAreaPhoenix

Good idea! I definitely need to give my head a break today! Thanks for the suggestion!!!!

Cindi R

Personally, me...I hibernate. Like a bear..
I go to the Bat-Cave.
It's cold this time of year.
I try not to beat up myself too much.
I'm actually happy, that is, I'm not unhappy.
I have moments when I am very much at peace, grateful for my peaceful surroundings, I know that things could always be worse!
I no longer seek conflict and drama.
Although I don't have a lot of supremely ecstatically superbly happy moments in my life...
I'm reasonably happy in my life and can find humor occasionally...
As an ACOA...once again...I have no idea how happy I'm supposed to be...
I try not to worry about it.
Does that make any sense at all...

frankly

makes perfect sense Cindi.

Spiritual Seeker

Casual Monday every week will be my new tradition.

Ann

I love the idea if a casual-wear Monday, even if I'm coming in on it late.

I'm closing shop on the "committee", throwing out the "woulda, coulda and shoulda's" and kicking the "what if's" to the curb,

Just me in my Canadian flannel nightgown, bunny slippers and old robe...about as casual as you can get and taking my mind with me.