LITA1978

Well After Being Married For Just A Little Over One Year To My Ah. I Decided To Call It Quits. I Know I Should Have Stood By My Husband Threw Thick And Thin And All That Crap You Are Suppose To Do Whenever You Get Married. Blah Blah Blah. Who Ever Made Those Rules Up Never Had To Live Or Deal With A Drug Addict. I Just Could Not Do It Anymore. I Could Not Take The Worry And The Mistrust Anymore. I Could Not Take The Lies And The Made Up Stories And Everything Else That Came Along With Having An Addict In Your Life. So He Filed The Papers Last Week And Brought Them To Me. I Was Not Going To Pay For Anything. He Was The Cause Of The Split So He Can Be The Cause To Pay For It. Anyway. I Looked Them Over And Had Him Have Minor Changes Done To Them And I Gave Them Back. So Shortly It Will Be Final And I Will Be Free. For The Most Part Anyway. I Will Still Have To Fight On Friday For Child Support. I Feel So Much Better Its Like A Million Lbs Off My Shoulders.

caileesnana

Glad you are taking care of you and your kids. I don't think there is one right answer, I wish I could divorce my AD and be done!!!
prayers
susan

jerect

(((( Hugs))))

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I know what it is like to be married to a drug addict because I'm married to one. The lies, the using, the mistrust, it's enough to ruin any marriage.

Focus on taking care of you. Focus on your needs and your recovery. Yes, we marry for better or worse but drug addiction is not part of that equation. It's one thing to stand beside someone if they are willing to get help and are willing to be in active recovery but it's another thing when all they care about is their next fix.

Please post here as much as you can, this board is my sanity

There are a lot of wise people on this board and I'm sure some of them will chime in too

LITA1978

Yeah I Agree 10000%. I Read Here Alot And I Have Posted Several Times. I Love Love Love This Message Board. It Has Really Helped Me Realize That Things Are Not My Fault. Its Helps A Lot.

tnthelp

In my opinion if they are an active user they are not the person you made that vow to. From what I have seen addicts are not even a shadow of their former self. This is not thick and thin, it reminds me more of the story of the Fallen Angel Lucifer.

wooforever

Funny I did divorce my Addict, but we have a child together and you know what you will always have him in life as long as you have a kid together.

Are you giving him visitation with your child? If he is still using are you going to let him take that child for visits? If he is using still and you let him have visitations, you will never stop worrying. They will become different worries.

Good luck and keep us posted

lightseeker

don't be hard on yourself for the better and worse stuff. I don't think that active drug addiction is in the "worse" column - it's in the deal breaker column. I've gone through a lot in my life and one of my character defects is staying too long in bad situations. I've learned that there are several dealbreakers: active addiction and emotional/verbal/physical abuse. I know that there are more than that but those are the 2 that jump into my mind right now.

Take care of yourself and kid(s). The post above me referring to visitation is a true concern. Are there any stipulations that you can get into writing to protect the kids?

Thinking about you - Donna

LITA1978

Well As Of Right Now. I Think He Is Ok. Me May Or May Not Be Using. I Will Let Him Visitation As Of Right Now Until He Gives Me Reason Not Too. He Seems To Be Doing Like He Should But Who Knows. I Just Cant Keep My Child From Him She Needs Him In Her Life. But Believe Me If I Get A Single Hint He Is Doing Anyting With Or Around Her. He Will Have Hell To Pay Believe Me.