Story of a wonderful man w/ a horrible problem...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 45
I'm hanging in there. I've started moving forward with my new life. I talk to him on occasion, but I can feel myself gaining strength. He actually told me he went out and used a few days ago, and while I said I was sorry to hear that, I noticed that it was a huge relief to not have been sitting at home, wondering if he was ok, when he'd call, when he'd come home. I just heard about it after the fact and thought "how sad" and that was it really. Amazing. I think I needed to see what it would be like looking at his addiction from the outside in. I miss him everyday, my kids miss him too. But maybe I'm closer to the realization that this is what life would have been forever like if we were together.
The drug is his reason for being right now. It has replaced every priority in his life. It has replaced you and the children, for today.
Try to stay in the present, do not use the word "forever" in your thinking, and just today meet the responsibilities before you and love your children. The wheel of life is turning and you cannot foresee what is to come. But today you can be present to your children, for this is their only time to be children, and what you choose today for them will affect them all the rest of their lives. It will. You have a supreme moral responsibility as their mother. So continue to put them first. Every day, ask yourself, "Is this good for my children?" No one counts as much as they do right now.
If you have friends, reach out. Tell them who you are and what your struggles are. Ask for their support, their patience, their prayers.
Many blessings to your family. I hope your husband finds sobriety. While he is out there, you can show your children what integrity looks like.
Try to stay in the present, do not use the word "forever" in your thinking, and just today meet the responsibilities before you and love your children. The wheel of life is turning and you cannot foresee what is to come. But today you can be present to your children, for this is their only time to be children, and what you choose today for them will affect them all the rest of their lives. It will. You have a supreme moral responsibility as their mother. So continue to put them first. Every day, ask yourself, "Is this good for my children?" No one counts as much as they do right now.
If you have friends, reach out. Tell them who you are and what your struggles are. Ask for their support, their patience, their prayers.
Many blessings to your family. I hope your husband finds sobriety. While he is out there, you can show your children what integrity looks like.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: san jose
Posts: 9
What I am about to say is easier said than done. I am struggling with the decision that I made to leave my AB and with that decision realized that part of the problem of loving someone with this problem is ourselves. You cannot say that he changed your whole life and made you realize what love can really be. Love, especially so early on should not have these consequences. It is not fun waiting around and worrying. I lost myself in my relationship, I stopped living, smiling, and taking care of myself. My life started revolving around my AB, which led to a breakup that could have been avoided. You don't need to turn your back on him but you need to let him and give him space to take care of his problem so that the two of you can live a happy life. If he does not take the steps to recover, it will be a rocky road of pain, suffering, confusion and ultimately the loss of your own identity.
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