I am married to a addict
 

I married my husband six months ago and everyone told me to wait but I didn't and now I am trying to hold on I love him very much but the lies are getting to me. He is out using as I write this. Pray for me.

So sorry you are going through this. Most importantly, take care of yourself. And stick around here - reading and posting - there are lots of great people here.

Lies, Lies, Lies. I understand how you feel. I just joined this site two days ago and do nothing but read posts at every free minute. It helps.

My thoughts are with you. I am married to an addict as well and found out 2 years ago and life just sucks since then. He is in recovery now - or that is what I am supposed to believe. I just can't trust anything anymore. I know what you mean with the lies! Never ends. I just found SR recently too and I am so happy about it. You will finally feel that someone understands YOU ! Good luck and keep reading!

I'm in the same situation as you are. I have been married for nine months to an addict. I love this man with my total heart but If I would have known then what I know now, I would have never married him. But as they say, Hind-sight is 20/20. For some reason God put me in this relationship and here I am, wondering what kind of lesson he is trying to teach me.

This board is my saving grace, you will find nothing but support here.

Focus on you and your needs and not your husbands. I know that sounds selfish but it's not. Your husband as well as mine cares nothing about our needs, his only focus is getting high. The only person that can help your husband and get your husband sober is your husband. It took me a very long time to understand that concept. There is a sticky on this board called What do addicts do.. every time I get frustrated or start feeling like a crazy Co dependant, I read it and it helps me put it all back in prespective.

Good Luck to you.. Post here often because every single one of us knows your pain.:ghug2

I wouldn't have chosen the life of being married to an addict either. But it found me, and of course, I have to decide what kind of life I want and what I can put up with, but in the meantime I'm trying to take one day at a time. Sometimes I think it really will kill me along with my AH, but going to Al-Anon is really helpful, and I'm blessed to have some really supportive friends in my life.

Sending you warm thoughts...

thinking about you....I know that you must like you are in a whirlwind of pain right now. You've come to a place where there are poeple that understand how you feel. You still have options - as Dr. Phil says "active addiction is a deal breaker". Addiction changes the perspective on everything - even marriage.

I'm glad that you are here. The best things that I did when I realized that I was involved with an addict were to read everything that I could on addiction and codependency, get to Naranon/Alanon meetgins, get to counselling, and work the steps.

You are not alone......take care of yourself. Marriages have a hard time surviving betrayal and lies. Just remember, his addiction has nothing to do with your value. He is sick. I've never won in any fights with drugs - they are the ultimate mistress.

I'm thinking about you - Donna

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm a newbie here, but not to the challenges of being married to an addict. My husband, who is in prison because of (indirectly) drugs recently relapsed after over ten years clean. I hope I'll bump in to you frequently here, because you need all the support you can get....
Tracy

I seemed to get past the lies very quick, they were so strange, it took one week to know that nothing that came out of his mouth was true when he was using. It got to the point that it was like he wasn't even talking..... It was the amount of money he spent, the angry out burst, and the lonelyness that shook me to the bone.