cpsi

Hi , I was here a few months ago and now i seem to be back.
My fiance has been taking opiates again.He had been clean for a few years and in 2006 he went to the dentist for a root canal & that's when it all started again.
he started using again, i was unaware as i was hospitalised due to my high risk pregnancy, it was when my infant was 4 mths old he told me.Okay he kicked it and all was good for 6+ mths and he did it again.Then in late 2007 my child had a sever accident requiring pain killers,my other child had a severe case of croup/stridor & i accidently left the vicodin in sight of my fiance.Not making excuses but i had not gotten very much sleep in the past week with the traumatic accident and my infant having trouble breathing , I made a mistake(i say this cus i wrote about this last time i visited the soberrecovery and was made to feel it as my fault)

Okay, 2008 is here and i started noticing him acting a little odd, i actually grabbed the flashlight and checked his pupils also.BINGO, I knew it...he still lied, but is not good at it.
He finally came clean with me and said he will get off them agagin and how guilty he feels for taking money away from the family ,Blah blah blah..
Not that i am not sympathetic but OMG, we have 4 kids,a huge mortgage & bills and your spending money on this crap...

So i told him he can't do it on his own,it is not working..he hasn't gone to meetings(big mistake) and he seems to think okay he can take 2 days to kick and he'll be fine,,, promises he'll go to meetings..
it seems like everytime i seem to start to trust him again he does it all over...

So what do i do?
He is the soul provider for our family so financially this is really hard also, but i mentioned he should go into a rehab/halfwayhouse.we will get income tax money back so no worries there,,,he says no it's for people who are homeless..
I don't have any experience with this at all,although i am getting a crash course.
I feel like a total ass myself for not recognizing it sooner.

thanks for listening and any advice is appreciated as i have NO ONE to talk to about this

jehnifer

My personal opinion is that you consider attending an alanon meeting near you. Go there and explain your situation. People will share how they handled situaations similar to your own. I am sorry you have no one you can talk to about what you are dealing with, but alanon is the place to start. Can you use the internet to find a meeting?

holdingouthope

It's not your fault your husband used vicodin because you left it out on the counter. You didn't cause it.

Halfway houses are not for homeless people. Homeless shelters are. My husband is in a halfway house and it's probably the best thing he's done for himself.

Throwing up some prayers for courage for you....