Thoughts on this please....

Old 02-04-2008, 04:23 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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i am going to feed my son if he calls & tell me he is hungry. i will not give him money. i feed the stray dogs that come around. i will not let my son or anyone else go with out food if i can help them. this is my opinion.prayers for you & your son.
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Old 02-04-2008, 04:48 PM
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I googled Teen Challenge and found these comments. Some people say it's great. Other's say it's a cult and there is a lot of abuse. Maybe that's sour grapes from people that failed the program.

Either way, I'd call your son's lawyer, get him into another rehab and hope that satisfies his parole officer.
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Old 02-04-2008, 05:23 PM
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I don't really know of any other rehab programs around here, there was one called the 1016 house program, but it's a short program and he did a 30 day stint there, did GREAT while THERE, but got back into drugs as soon as he got out. The only ones I see on the net I think charge alot of money, which I do not have. Also, he does not have a lawyer, he's always used court-appointed.

And yes, Teen Challenge told the PO about him leaving the same night he left. The PO never called me, nor did the police, his probation is being held in Saginaw, where they have alot and I mean ALOT more pressing matters, no doubt.

I would love to see him go to another rehab program, but for me to look them up and find another for him to go to...I don't know, it's not like he's called me and asked me to help him find another rehab program to go to, although he does sound pretty down and out when I talk to him. I think he just is trying to *wish* the whole probation violation thing away. Of course if it were ME, I would do anything to avoid prison, but the longer he waits, the more chance they will just send him to prison, right now it doesn't look like he's making any kind of effort to set things right with his PO.
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Old 02-04-2008, 06:15 PM
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Hi Laura,

I don't know if bringing him food is the right thing or not but, I would do exactly the same thing. I have a 19 yr old A/D who just called me to take her to a hospital, says she doesn't want to do drugs anymore(lol).

In any case I know I shouldn't but, I am going to pick her up and take her to a hospital. I know I am a classic enabler and I really am trying to work on it.

As a mother I can definitely identify with how you are feeling. It is so hard when it is your kid.

Prayers for you and your son,

Sickatheart
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Old 02-04-2008, 06:43 PM
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Red face

"... it's a short program and he did a 30 day stint there, did GREAT while THERE, but got back into drugs as soon as he got out...

"...I would love to see him go to another rehab program, but for me to look them up and find another for him to go to...I don't know, it's not like he's called me and asked me to help him find another rehab program to go to..."

Laura.....plz, plz, plz....don't take this the wrong way....

I see that your son did a stint at another rehab, but it was short, and after getting out, he went back to drugs.....Well, even though Teen Challenge is longer, and more intense, that doesn't mean he wouldn't do the same thing and go back to drugs upon getting out.....

Places like Teen Challenge are a godsend, but they can be seen as a bit 'closed,' a bit cloistered, a very protected environment, and sometimes it's hard for a person to get back into the big world, upon release....

After rehab, it's always up to the individual to maintain his/her 'sobriety.' ...and to your questions about finding another rehab for him.... NO, NO, NO. Not to be too adament here, but it really needs to be up to him.....Helping him find a rehab, but having him do the footwork, that would be good, but you doing all the work......I kinda see that as enabling.....he just gets to sit back and let you do all the work?....too bad we can't go through the rehab/recovery for them.....but, alas, it doesn't work that way...........least it didn't for me..... (o:


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Old 02-04-2008, 08:35 PM
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Noelle - I totally agree with the "let him do the legwork" - I was kind of answering Andy's post about "finding him another rehab program" - I got him the phone numbers to the 2 Teen Challenge programs on the other side of the state (I did hear they are better programs from someone else), he has his probation officer's phone number, it's totally up to him. If he wants to stay clean and out of prison, he will need to try to work it out with his PO, IF he asks me about other rehab choices, I can get him some numbers if I find anything, but so far he has not asked.

I think the judge let him try him Teen Challenge because it was to be a 14 month rehab stint, and the judge WAS going to *offer* him 23 months in prison for a probation violation...but decided to give him one more last chance before prison; Kevin knew this going in. Not sure what's on his mind now, maybe this week I will get a chance to talk a little more in depth with him about it, but I am not going to try to influence him either way - it's up to him now :-)

Thanks for your input!!
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Old 02-04-2008, 10:05 PM
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Smile

Goodonya Laura ---

If the judge and his po allow him to leave the area.....I hope your son realizes that staying with Teen Challenge will keep him in a 'no smoking' zone; at least I'd be willing to bed.....evangelical, fundamentalist Bible/Christ based recovery programs are usually very strict......no smoking......

I also hope/pray that your son gets serious about his life....although, when I was his age I wasn't to serious, cept about gettin high.....we all go through what we need to to get to where we are..... (o:

My prayers are also with you, Laura.....u keep hangin' in there ....


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Old 02-05-2008, 05:24 AM
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Laura....there is a good chance (and I mean chance..) that the judge will give him jail time anyway. In the situation with my 21 year old son....he violated his probation (by testing positive many many times), the judge told him to cooperate with his probation officer and get enrolled in a drug rehab. He did as he was told. He had his appointment set for a long term program and then had to go back to court to inform the judge. Well guess what! The judge decided he had enough of him. He informed my son that Probation didnt want him anymore! They had given him enough chances and decided it was time for tough love. They handcuffed him and led him away....just like that! I was left standing in the courtroom with my mouth hanging open....in shock. We thought that he would be on his way to recovery in a program...instead he sits in jail. (Minimum security facility but still jail!) He will be released from probation once his jail stint is over. My point is...you never know what route the judge will take. It all depends on his probation officer and how he has been doing with him/her. If it's just a tobacco issue...I really dont think they will put him in jail. If it's more than you are aware of...different story. I also tried to stay in the loop with his probation officer and she wouldnt even talk to me. Once they are over 18 they wont talk to you.
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Old 02-05-2008, 09:31 AM
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Yes, I'm figuring prison this time, he's had his year of jail time, boot camp, and 2 rehab programs...the judge told him that next time he's in his courtroom, 23 months minimum...wouldn't surprise me if they added more unless he gets ahold of his probation officer and soon...we'll see.
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Old 02-05-2008, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by LauraK View Post
I would love to see him go to another rehab program, but for me to look them up and find another for him to go to...I don't know, it's not like he's called me and asked me to help him find another rehab program to go to, although he does sound pretty down and out when I talk to him. I think he just is trying to *wish* the whole probation violation thing away.
That's a good point that you shouldn't have to do this for him. You could simply talk to him, tell him that eventually the police will come for him if he doesn't do something, and urge him to find another rehab. His best hope for staying out of jail is to get back into treatment and show his PO that he really does want to get clean.
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