faithfully

My addict is dying, he always tells me that. He has a staph infection and was hospitalized this summer when I left him. I had to leave. The drugs were out of control.

I came back and let him live with me, he was on the streets with surgery done to him and open wounds all over.

It hasn’t changed, he stopped going to hospital I can’t make him go. I can’t control him. He lives with me and keeps saying he’s going to die. I think he is too. But now he drinks tons and does drugs and when he drinks he puts me down over and over until I go crazy, 3 times this week I had to run out. Last night he yelled so loud I though neighbour would call cops. I have him out on bail, I guess if I told the cops he was drinking and drugging he’d be breaching his bail and be put in jail. But I can’t let him die there, cuz that’s what will happen, he’ll live the last bit of his life in jail cuz of me. And if I don’t give him money, well I seen that before that’s why I left before, he gets violent or steals from me. I know I shouldnt have let him move in with me again but he was going to die on the streets otherwise.

Help? I do all cleaning, main breadwinner, am going for nervous breakdown. He leaves knives all his area, with blood on them. He won’t let me clean around him. ...help! I can’t make him go to hospital I have no power of attourney, but I cant risk him hurting me

sleepygoat

The hard truth is you aren't saving him; you are helping him die by allowing him a soft place to hole up, money to use, protection from jail (jail aint so bad - he isn't going to die there. this isn't a third world county), and somebody to abuse to take the focus off of himself. Hand him a list of some treatment facilities and the salvation army and show him the door. or change the locks. If he gets violent call the police immediately. I know that's so much easier said than done, but you are doing no one a favor by allowing this stuff.

hope213

you are the most important thing. he is not thinking of you when you are so scared of him. he is not your problem. you deserve so much more than this. you are trying to help him & he wants to hurt you. this is not your fault. you did not CAUSE it, you can not CONTROL it & you can not CURE it. what happens to him, happens but get yourself safe. call the cops, do something to get him out of your house. please keep coming back & let us know how u r. welcome to S.R. you are where people care. prayers for you

bluejay6

faithfully,
your post is terrifying. are you all alone in the world...no family to turn to for help or to stay with a while?

i agree with everyone that jail would not be a bad thing for him. i don't believe he would die there, and in fact, the containment and medical care might be much better than his situation now. and he would detox.

he sounds pretty strong and alive to me.

please find a way out.

Ann

He would be clean and receive medical attention in jail, that's better than he's doing now.

Abuse is never okay, please know that you are in grave danger staying with an addict who is out of control.

Please call a women's crisis line or get someone to be with you, and put some safe space between you before you get hurt, or worse.

Hugs

mooselips

faithfully,
Hugs to you sweetie, this is so hard, I know it is.
BUT, you are not helping him. You are killing him.
He seriously, would have a chance if he goes to jail. Detox, medical care, and recovery if he chooses.
Right now, there's no choice for him because you're his soft place to fall, and he has you intimidated, and he likes it that way.

Get yourself away from there, call someone, and get him sent to jail.


Keep posting, we're all here for you.
Stay safe.

Hugs,

faithfully

Thank you everyone for your support. IT is weird hearing terrifying and dangerous from others. He has yelled at me so much this past week there have been complaints from neighbours in the building. They gave me a note today saying that he has to go in two days or we both do. Truthfully they can’t evict me in less than 30 days. I spoke to the manager because I violated my lease agreement without having him on the lease and not asking permission for him to stay with me. She said the neighbours heard him calling me a bitch and a ***** and slamming things so they complained. There is a lady I know across the hall (no family in this side of the country) so I stayed there last night. THe other night he was walking around with a knife yelling at me and he said he was doing it just to scare me. I had my door to my bedroom locked last night and I think that is what made him get so mad, plus he was really drunk.

Now he knows he has to leave and he is blaming me, he thinks I set the whole thing up to get rid of him with the building manager. But it really was the neighbours complaining. Now I am really scared to stay here. He probably won’t go, I said I’m afraid the manager will Call the police because she says you are trespassing and he says well they can’t prove it, I could be only staying here for a week, but they know he was staying here. So unless he leaves I will get 30 days notice. That’s OK I can move in 30 days but what about being so damn scared. My heart is palpatating and I just started a new very demanding job and I can’t seem to keep my head together. He is blaming this whole thing with the landlord on me...

bluebelle

You need to call the police immediately--get him out of there. You are scared for a good reason--you need to listen to your body. It is telling you to get away from him. You are right, you can't control him. He is going to do what he is going to do. You need to make sure that he isn't anywhere near you and that he doesn't take you down with him. Nobody has a right to call you names or threaten you. I have seen the results of domestic violence. The only direction this situation is going is downhill!!!! Take care of you!!!