painter

Well, dear friends, I think I did GOOD! AD called today, I have not heard from her for over a week, not since bailing her out of jail. About a month ago I had asked her if she wanted to do some heavy cleaning for me to pay back some of the money she owed me. She calls to ask if she can do cleaning to earn some money for food til the first of the month. I am guessing she is now getting food stamps for the kids. When I told her that the cleaning was to pay back the money she had already taken from me, she had no comment. With silence on the phone I told her I had to get back to work and hung up. At first I felt so guilty, and the worry about the grandbabies started, but then I realized that I had to put her out of my worry box and into the hand of God. He will not let the babies go hungry. And my ad will either step up to the plate or hit bottom. I felt so empowered. And I learned it all here, from all you wonderful sharing ladies. Thank you so much for allowing me to read and learn from your experiences and your lives. Just wanted to let you know that all of your time and effort are helping newbies like me. Thanks again!!!!!!!!!:ghug3

mooselips

painter,
You did a good job of staying within your boundaries, and not giving out money.



On the other hand, if I was at all worried about the children not having enough food, I think I would tend to take a few groceries over for them, and that way, you could kind of check it out, and make sure they are getting enough to eat. (just my way of thinking...)

Hugs to you,

Spiritual Seeker

When we manage our co dependency, then it is about us and not them. It is about what we will tolerate.
However, if your daughter is not able to provide for the grandchildren, that is a legitimate concern. Sounds like you Know when to step in and when you are being manipulated
It is great that you are doing better these days.

Ann

The reading in Language of Letting Go today was about "hooks" and sadly they play the "hungry kids" hook a little too often, many times right after they blew their money on drugs, where was the concern about the hungry kids then?

Like Moose, I would take a few groceries over if I thought there might be any truth in it but cash wouldn't be a part of it.

Good for you, you didn't get hooked. She didn't clean to repay you last time, it's not likely she would this time either. Responsibility is hers to follow through and do what she says she will do.

Hugs

hope213

good advise ahead of me. i too would make sure the kids had food. but give her money is out of the question. you are doing great.

bookmiser

((((((((Painter)))))))))


A similar situation happened to me yesterday. It's on Moose's thread
about her son being in jail.
I, too, think that you did what you needed to do with your daughter.
Thank God, my son has no children. He's use that card with me till it
was so full 'o holes, he'd have to mount it on my kitchen wall.
I think, if your really worried about her children, I'd have to run over
to see for myself what kind of condition their in.
Jmho.
Codependency. There's a fine line for doing for others that are able, but unwilling to do for themselves.
Children, excluded.
I pray that she was just bellyachin' and trying to get money from you.
Her children should not have to suffer in the process.
My heart aches for the little ones in situations like this.

Hugs,
Linda

sleepygoat

I think you are doing awesome!!

dustie

Painter
I so admire you and your strength. I can't imagine how difficult that was but you did the right thing! Again I am proud of you and just wanted to tell you that. It amazes me how much I learn from this site and the people here. Thank you.....all of you.

Dustie