Working the steps.
Still Standing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Working the steps.
I've decided to start working the steps myself, in this area of my life and I thought that it would help me alot to write it here.
1. We admitted we were powerless over the addict, and that our lives had become unmanageable.
I do admit and am now admitting that I am completely and totally powerless over my addict son and his addiction. And I admit that my life is so unmanageable because of this and has been for the most part of 12 or more years.
Thank you all so much for allowing me to share this with you. If any of you would like to join me, you are most welcome to. I need all of you.
1. We admitted we were powerless over the addict, and that our lives had become unmanageable.
I do admit and am now admitting that I am completely and totally powerless over my addict son and his addiction. And I admit that my life is so unmanageable because of this and has been for the most part of 12 or more years.
Thank you all so much for allowing me to share this with you. If any of you would like to join me, you are most welcome to. I need all of you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
nina, i have been in recovery for awhile now & i could not get pass that step. i took baby steps & i kept going back to it again & again. powerless & acceptance. i have no control over my son......................
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 9
I am working on and the more I start putting myself and my daughter first the easier it is for me to sleep at night. Before with it being as cold as it is, I would freak out worrying about my husband being gone all night and I actually slept through the night because I am not trying to change him I AM CHANGING ME
Still Standing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Hi Hope. I think that this step is the one that we have to go back to again and again, when we do remember to anyway. Remembering that we are powerless leads to the acceptance that we need to survive this trauma in our lives. So we do keep coming back to it when we start to try to take control again. It's really not ours to control, so we go crazy trying to do something that is just not in our power to do.
Still Standing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
HurtingDad, you are right that it is so important to be able to keep the two separate in our hearts. If we can, then we can detach with love and compassion for our loved ones.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I have learned that I am powerless in many areas, not just my son's addiction.
Step one for me links with the serenity prayer: to accept the things I can not change
and the wisdom to know what is in my own realm.
Since admitting I am powerless I feel, think and act differently in all my relationships.
I've become much more accepting of what is. I don't have to be the boss of the world any longer. I no longer have to want anyone to right any wrongs, just my own.
I too am working the steps, for the 3rd time. I wanted to start the new yr. with a refresher. Ea. time I do them I learn a lot about myself.
Thanks for bringing them up here today. Please keep posting about your progress.
Step one for me links with the serenity prayer: to accept the things I can not change
and the wisdom to know what is in my own realm.
Since admitting I am powerless I feel, think and act differently in all my relationships.
I've become much more accepting of what is. I don't have to be the boss of the world any longer. I no longer have to want anyone to right any wrongs, just my own.
I too am working the steps, for the 3rd time. I wanted to start the new yr. with a refresher. Ea. time I do them I learn a lot about myself.
Thanks for bringing them up here today. Please keep posting about your progress.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Yup, good ole step one. Haven't heard from my AD since she spent a nice Christmas here and texted me a Happy New Year. Good lesson in being powerless and also a good lesson in knowing that there is nothing that I could or couldn't do to make a difference with her. It is not about me, it is about addiction. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: on top of the hill
Posts: 197
I had to work the first step for the first time over three years ago, trying to get sober from alcohol. And now, I don't know which is worse, letting yourself down or having the love of your life letting you down.
Ah has been gone over 4 years now, he recently tried to get clean on his own and stopped by often, but of course, he can't do it by himself,
I have gotten so much stronger than I used to be, but I must admit, it's still a battle. After a relapse, I will have 3 years sober May 26, hp willing. I never would have gotten this far without my children and grand children. I know I am so very blessed to have them.
Ah has been gone over 4 years now, he recently tried to get clean on his own and stopped by often, but of course, he can't do it by himself,
I have gotten so much stronger than I used to be, but I must admit, it's still a battle. After a relapse, I will have 3 years sober May 26, hp willing. I never would have gotten this far without my children and grand children. I know I am so very blessed to have them.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Once I started to really understand step 1, I've found that as I circle back to it, which I have to in all aspects of my life, I look at the first 3 steps together....I can't, He can, I'm going to let him. It's easier for me to let go of the false sense of power over something when I know I can turn it over to my HP. So instead of "having power," I am empowered by my choice. Not sure if that makes sense....
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