I "Think" I Finally Lost The Fight :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Jackson, Tn
Posts: 41
I "Think" I Finally Lost The Fight :(
Hey everyone, I haven't been on here in quite some time now, because I've been sick. Thought I would write an update on my situation today.
For those of you who don't know me.....I went through my husbands addiction to crack from Feb 2006 until Aug 2006, when he decided to stop using. He stopped until Aug 2007. I didn't know he had started using again until Oct. At this time I told him to call his brother who lives 3 1/2 hours away and go get treatment. He was away from me and MY kids for a week, and put on Subutex which made him sick. After that he started seeing a different doctor who is now giving him Vicodin and Morphine. He just saw this doctor on Dec 31st. He gave him 120 Vicodin and 60 Morphine to do him until he saw him again on Jan 30. Within 2 weeks.....he was out. He has had surgery for Carpul Tunnel in both hands and says the surgery wasn't done right, because he still hurts BAD. He also has 3 collapsed disc in his back. All of this is his reason for the crack and abusing the prescription meds.
As far as I know he hadn't touched crack since he came back home from his brothers on Nov 3. Well, yesterday he went back again to the crack. He left home at 11:15 yesterday morning and I haven't saw him since. I called his cell repeatedly all evening and last night. He wouldn't answer. He finally called me this morning to tell me he is in the town his brother lives in, that he knows he screwed up, and for me to think about what I want him to do and let him know. I told him there was nothing to think about, either he can sign himself in to an inhouse rehab facility or stay gone.
I have reached the end with him. I just can't take it anymore. My family all along has been totally shocked that I've went through this with him as long as I have now. This is not me!! I don't understand the power and control he's had over me to keep me hanging on so long, because NEVER would I have went through this for anyone else!! To make matters even worse, the money he used for it yesterday was money my Uncle gave him for us to buy groceries because we're out. Now my kids and I are sitting here with no groceries, no gas money, no nothing. I'm disabled and haven't been able to get my disability started. I have no idea what we're going to do
.
Just wanted to let everyone know what was going on these days with me.
Please pray for us!!
HUGS!!
JEN
For those of you who don't know me.....I went through my husbands addiction to crack from Feb 2006 until Aug 2006, when he decided to stop using. He stopped until Aug 2007. I didn't know he had started using again until Oct. At this time I told him to call his brother who lives 3 1/2 hours away and go get treatment. He was away from me and MY kids for a week, and put on Subutex which made him sick. After that he started seeing a different doctor who is now giving him Vicodin and Morphine. He just saw this doctor on Dec 31st. He gave him 120 Vicodin and 60 Morphine to do him until he saw him again on Jan 30. Within 2 weeks.....he was out. He has had surgery for Carpul Tunnel in both hands and says the surgery wasn't done right, because he still hurts BAD. He also has 3 collapsed disc in his back. All of this is his reason for the crack and abusing the prescription meds.
As far as I know he hadn't touched crack since he came back home from his brothers on Nov 3. Well, yesterday he went back again to the crack. He left home at 11:15 yesterday morning and I haven't saw him since. I called his cell repeatedly all evening and last night. He wouldn't answer. He finally called me this morning to tell me he is in the town his brother lives in, that he knows he screwed up, and for me to think about what I want him to do and let him know. I told him there was nothing to think about, either he can sign himself in to an inhouse rehab facility or stay gone.
I have reached the end with him. I just can't take it anymore. My family all along has been totally shocked that I've went through this with him as long as I have now. This is not me!! I don't understand the power and control he's had over me to keep me hanging on so long, because NEVER would I have went through this for anyone else!! To make matters even worse, the money he used for it yesterday was money my Uncle gave him for us to buy groceries because we're out. Now my kids and I are sitting here with no groceries, no gas money, no nothing. I'm disabled and haven't been able to get my disability started. I have no idea what we're going to do
.Just wanted to let everyone know what was going on these days with me.
Please pray for us!!
HUGS!!
JEN
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
(((hugs)))
His fight with crack is not your fight to lose. Your fight is for your own survival and for your kids. It sounds like your family would be very supportive if you told them you were done with him. I wish you the best and encourage you to keep moving forward!
His fight with crack is not your fight to lose. Your fight is for your own survival and for your kids. It sounds like your family would be very supportive if you told them you were done with him. I wish you the best and encourage you to keep moving forward!
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
****{a2lg}}}
I'm sorry your going through this. Addiction has a weird way of grabbing hold of everyone. That's why there's alanon, it's does it to a lot of people, not just **{you}}.
I hope you can be done with him now and move on and take care of yourself and your
kids. Best of luck to you..
DWI
I'm sorry your going through this. Addiction has a weird way of grabbing hold of everyone. That's why there's alanon, it's does it to a lot of people, not just **{you}}.
I hope you can be done with him now and move on and take care of yourself and your
kids. Best of luck to you..
DWI
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Afraid,
Will keep you and your children in my prayers. I know this seems terrible right now, the situation you're in. But I've seen my HP work and turn the worst situations into good ones while I was thinking NOTHING good could ever come of it.
Hang in there, and remember to do what is best for you and the kids.
Hugs and prayers,
Hangin' In
Will keep you and your children in my prayers. I know this seems terrible right now, the situation you're in. But I've seen my HP work and turn the worst situations into good ones while I was thinking NOTHING good could ever come of it.
Hang in there, and remember to do what is best for you and the kids.
Hugs and prayers,
Hangin' In
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
My hugs and prayers go out too.
Whatever you choose, I am glad that today you are strong enough to actually make a choice that will be for what's best for you and your children.
We're walking with you, here, and sharing your load.
Hugs
Whatever you choose, I am glad that today you are strong enough to actually make a choice that will be for what's best for you and your children.
We're walking with you, here, and sharing your load.
Hugs
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((Jen))))))))
I'm so sorry for your troubles. I hate the fact that we can't depend on
our addicted loved ones. It took me a long time to realize that with my son.
I know when I was married to an alcoholic, that I would one day be alone with my children. There was no way I was going to change him until he was ready to stop. It's been almost 18 years and he would still be active if he weren't in jail for d.u.i. You must be strong for yourself and your children.
The only person we can depend on, is ourselves. Sad, but true.
Sending prayers for strength and perseverance. I pray that you'll reach out
to family and friends in your time of need. That's who helped me when I put my husband out. You can do this. Draw your strength from us. We're here to support you whatever you decide to do.
Prayers,
Linda
I'm so sorry for your troubles. I hate the fact that we can't depend on
our addicted loved ones. It took me a long time to realize that with my son.
I know when I was married to an alcoholic, that I would one day be alone with my children. There was no way I was going to change him until he was ready to stop. It's been almost 18 years and he would still be active if he weren't in jail for d.u.i. You must be strong for yourself and your children.
The only person we can depend on, is ourselves. Sad, but true.
Sending prayers for strength and perseverance. I pray that you'll reach out
to family and friends in your time of need. That's who helped me when I put my husband out. You can do this. Draw your strength from us. We're here to support you whatever you decide to do.
Prayers,
Linda
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Sending prayers up for you and your children. You've given this as much as you have to give and that should never be at the expense of you and your children. I'm glad you have family support too, that helps so much.
Hugs
Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Jackson, Tn
Posts: 41
Alot has happened since the last time I wrote. My husband ONCE AGAIN has said he can do this on his own, and has made yet another plan. He and I both realized that rehab would cost money that we don't have and even if we did have it, who would pay the bills while he's getting the treatment?!?! I have also found out that the police are after him for 2 bench warrants, which I knew he had over a couple traffic violations and failure to appear in court. He has been told that he WILL pay these warrants BEFORE he comes back, AND once he comes back our local DHS office is giving him FREE drug counseling in our home. He has been told IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that he can choose LIFE, and a home with me and MY children and quit his crap ONCE AND FOR ALL, or (God Forbid) if there's a "next time".....mine and MY childrens lives WILL go on WITHOUT HIM!! I have given and I have taken ALL I can from him concerning this matter, and enough is enough. You CAN'T help someone unless they are willing to help themselves!! Today is the 30th, and I haven't saw him in 9 days now.....my kids and I have been JUST FINE. We will continue to be just fine if he makes the wrong choice again, in only the short 9 days away from him I have realized.....WE (My kids and I) CAN and WILL make it, regardless. I know my family has been very supportive and will continue to be. His destiny is up to HIM and NO ONE else!!
Thank you ALL for your prayers and continued support, and may God bless each and every one of you!! You're all in my prayers as well.
BIG HUGS!!
JEN
Thank you ALL for your prayers and continued support, and may God bless each and every one of you!! You're all in my prayers as well.
BIG HUGS!!
JEN
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
