my emotions are so confused
 

I am so confused. I ,90% of the time , feel pretty strong in my decision to leave my ah. But as he works his recovery and I see him trying, I sometimes daydream about us reconciling. i know that is what he wants. I hate feeling like this. I know that even if he stays sober there is always a good chance he will relapse and I'll have to go through breaking up again. I still do not trust him to tell the truth. His actions have been pretty good. He is dedicated to the kids. Never missing a game or visit. that is what is pulling me to him. I just hate feeling so unsure of my own feelings. I know I must be patient. I always said 1 year of him being sober before I would consider reconciliation. I just hope I can be that strong.

hang in there. It's all just really really tough and it's a lot of staying on the fence. When they do well it is hard not to falter. I wish that RAH and I had had some space between us when he was in early recovery. Sometimes the closeness made things more "raw" than they needed to be. You are in the place where I really had to rely on "if in doubt, don't", "more will be revealed", and developing my faith. I had a whole lot of fears at that time and it helped me to be involved in my own program.

Be gentle with yourself - you've gone through a lot and are still going through a lot.

Thinking about you - Donna

These are the types of moments I try very hard to hand it all over to my HP.
The even harder part is patiently waiting for answers, given patience isn't my strongest trait.
I'm glad he's doing well
And I'm glad you are thinking about you...it will be worth it down the road.
(((Hugs)))