Headline: Egf and As receive eviction notice...
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
I understand the feeling...
Trevor and g/f were living in a building that is being auctioned off.
He is back home now; they just broke up. She's still there. Don't know when the next auction will be. But, it's been auctioned twice, and no one's bought it. Could go any day... How does anyone live like that?
Let go; let G*D.
It's the same story. It's their life.
We didn't cause it; can't control it; can't fix it for them and must give them the dignity of living their own life.
Not quite the 3 Cs, but, you get the picture, no?
Shalom!
Trevor and g/f were living in a building that is being auctioned off.
He is back home now; they just broke up. She's still there. Don't know when the next auction will be. But, it's been auctioned twice, and no one's bought it. Could go any day... How does anyone live like that?
Let go; let G*D.
It's the same story. It's their life.
We didn't cause it; can't control it; can't fix it for them and must give them the dignity of living their own life.
Not quite the 3 Cs, but, you get the picture, no?
Shalom!
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Prayers for you and them, Book.
We just never know, Book. Maybe this will be a step toward his HP getting his attention. I have to look at things that way. I try to tell myself, "Well, here's an opportunity my AD's HP is giving her to learn what she needs to learn."
Hugs and prayers,
Hangin' In
We just never know, Book. Maybe this will be a step toward his HP getting his attention. I have to look at things that way. I try to tell myself, "Well, here's an opportunity my AD's HP is giving her to learn what she needs to learn."
Hugs and prayers,
Hangin' In
Get Caught Reading
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Thanks, everyone, but it looks like they'll be "living in paradise" a little while longer. Her mother gave her the money for the rent. That'll last a few more weeks, I guess. When he told me that, I just said, "well, I guess whatever keeps her from moving into her moms."
He said, "well, at least her mom cares about her".
Yeah, whatever Jay.
I'm so done! I can't stand this anymore.
Lately, he's become verbally abusive to me. My husband wants to kick his a$$.
I just tell him it's his disease...bi-polar? a.d.d? addiction?
I just don't know anymore and I'm tired of caring.
He's pi$$ed now because I won't give him $20.00 for a new doctor visit.
Tells me he'll even show me the receipt.
He wanting to see a different doctor, cause he says the "freebee" doctors are quacks.
He was on depakote(?) and something else. Whenever we spoke, he sounded messed up. He swears it was the meds. Now he says he's not gonna take those anymore and wants to go to a real doctor and let them figure him out.
I don't think anyone can figure out my son. He is so gone, I think.
Last night he called me a f*cker and hung up on me.
Then later he calls and acts like it never happened. I reminded him and told him to please just leave me alone.
He says, "nice mothering. Your the reason I'm all f*cked up anyway. Don't ever call me again. Thanks for nothing, mommy dearest".
My son is mentally ill or active in addiction again, or both.
I don't know what else to do.
I texted him 2 places with phone numbers. Rehabs.
He told me to take the soberrecovery cult and stick it up my a$$.
He's so mad that I'm not enabling him anymore. His manipulations are falling on deaf ears. He's desperate and lashing out.
Why can't he just.....
Sorry for the vent. I watched Mondays Intervention last night and by the time it was over I was sobbing.
Did you all see it? About the guy Jason and his sister who were both alcoholics and coke addicts?
It broke my heart. She still sober, while he just relapsed with alcohol.
Will this ever stop? This world has become a very scary place. I hate to even venture outside. Am I the only one who feels this way?
He said, "well, at least her mom cares about her".
Yeah, whatever Jay.
I'm so done! I can't stand this anymore.
Lately, he's become verbally abusive to me. My husband wants to kick his a$$.
I just tell him it's his disease...bi-polar? a.d.d? addiction?
I just don't know anymore and I'm tired of caring.
He's pi$$ed now because I won't give him $20.00 for a new doctor visit.
Tells me he'll even show me the receipt.
He wanting to see a different doctor, cause he says the "freebee" doctors are quacks.
He was on depakote(?) and something else. Whenever we spoke, he sounded messed up. He swears it was the meds. Now he says he's not gonna take those anymore and wants to go to a real doctor and let them figure him out.
I don't think anyone can figure out my son. He is so gone, I think.
Last night he called me a f*cker and hung up on me.
Then later he calls and acts like it never happened. I reminded him and told him to please just leave me alone.
He says, "nice mothering. Your the reason I'm all f*cked up anyway. Don't ever call me again. Thanks for nothing, mommy dearest".
My son is mentally ill or active in addiction again, or both.
I don't know what else to do.
I texted him 2 places with phone numbers. Rehabs.
He told me to take the soberrecovery cult and stick it up my a$$.
He's so mad that I'm not enabling him anymore. His manipulations are falling on deaf ears. He's desperate and lashing out.
Why can't he just.....
Sorry for the vent. I watched Mondays Intervention last night and by the time it was over I was sobbing.
Did you all see it? About the guy Jason and his sister who were both alcoholics and coke addicts?
It broke my heart. She still sober, while he just relapsed with alcohol.
Will this ever stop? This world has become a very scary place. I hate to even venture outside. Am I the only one who feels this way?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Time to take that big step back, stop taking his calls, block the text messages or better yet call your phone company and remove the ability to text at all. Texting just allows the addict to continue to be abusive. I know you can do this, Linda. You are worth so much more than what you are allowing your son to do to you. Once it becomes abusive then it is time to end it. Said with love because I really do care. Hugs, Marle
Get Caught Reading
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((Marle)))))))
I just don't understand what could be going on with him. He's never ever spoken to me like this. Is it because I am no longer "picking" him up?
No longer supporting his lifestyle? No longer to even be able to say,
"I love you. Your smart. I'm sure you'll figure something out."
I can't even bring myself to be emotionally supportive anymore.
I am just sick to death with worrying. Last night I went to bed and I imagined my phone ringing in another room. I know it wasn't ringing or hubby would have heard it too. I was just imagining it. Am I losing my mind because of him?
I keep looking at my phone to see if there are any new texts. To see if he is really done with trying to come to mom for help. Then out loud, to myself, I say, "well, Linda, you told him to leave you alone. What do you expect?"
But in reality, I know I will hear from him today. It's an everyday thing.
Every single friggin' day I've been hearing about his problems.
He could give a shite less if anyone else is suffering.
I had to apologize to a customer last night at work. His 9ish yo son was taking stickers out of a sticker book and putting them on the pages. Instead of saying something to his parents, I bent down to the floor and whisked the book away from him. Without one word. Like, "you know better than that"
Without a word. I've never treated a child like that. I took the book to his parents and asked them to please not let him defect anything else. He calls the boy over and the boy denies doing it. Dad took up for the boy. Even though I saw it with my own eyes. Then the boy, I guess, told dad that I took it from him without telling him it was wrong. Dad reamed my a$$ in front of my manager and all I could do was say, " I'm sorry" over and over.
Do I need a break from work? Probably. Do I need a break period? Definitely.
lol
My boss wasn't upset, but I felt like crying. I told him that I don't act that way. Ever. I've been working with kids a long time. This boy lied to his dad.
Bald-faced lied and I was so mad, my face was on fire. Arrgggg!
Anyway, I took dad's hand and once again apologized and told him that the next time, if there is one, though I doubt, (I scared the boy to death. lol)
that I would come to them first so he can get "caught" by the parent and not a stranger. I feel awful about this. So glad I'm off work today and can vent here. lol
I just don't understand what could be going on with him. He's never ever spoken to me like this. Is it because I am no longer "picking" him up?
No longer supporting his lifestyle? No longer to even be able to say,
"I love you. Your smart. I'm sure you'll figure something out."
I can't even bring myself to be emotionally supportive anymore.
I am just sick to death with worrying. Last night I went to bed and I imagined my phone ringing in another room. I know it wasn't ringing or hubby would have heard it too. I was just imagining it. Am I losing my mind because of him?
I keep looking at my phone to see if there are any new texts. To see if he is really done with trying to come to mom for help. Then out loud, to myself, I say, "well, Linda, you told him to leave you alone. What do you expect?"
But in reality, I know I will hear from him today. It's an everyday thing.
Every single friggin' day I've been hearing about his problems.
He could give a shite less if anyone else is suffering.
I had to apologize to a customer last night at work. His 9ish yo son was taking stickers out of a sticker book and putting them on the pages. Instead of saying something to his parents, I bent down to the floor and whisked the book away from him. Without one word. Like, "you know better than that"
Without a word. I've never treated a child like that. I took the book to his parents and asked them to please not let him defect anything else. He calls the boy over and the boy denies doing it. Dad took up for the boy. Even though I saw it with my own eyes. Then the boy, I guess, told dad that I took it from him without telling him it was wrong. Dad reamed my a$$ in front of my manager and all I could do was say, " I'm sorry" over and over.
Do I need a break from work? Probably. Do I need a break period? Definitely.
lol
My boss wasn't upset, but I felt like crying. I told him that I don't act that way. Ever. I've been working with kids a long time. This boy lied to his dad.
Bald-faced lied and I was so mad, my face was on fire. Arrgggg!
Anyway, I took dad's hand and once again apologized and told him that the next time, if there is one, though I doubt, (I scared the boy to death. lol)
that I would come to them first so he can get "caught" by the parent and not a stranger. I feel awful about this. So glad I'm off work today and can vent here. lol
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
(((((Linda)))))
Don't give up hope, in open NA meetings I hear sharing about the deepest darkest H*ll addicts have reached before they found the light...And now they are on a wonderful road with beauty and peace in their lives.
I know that it is easy to think that when our kids stop using heroin, things can't be too bad, but I found I saw more mean and ugly behavior with drinking or coke or crack than heroin. You've mentioned before that he drinks pretty heavily; he has substitued one addiction for another. I think the disease really rears up when it is being denied...And you are not buying into the manipulation and abuse. His disease is furious right now. Well, that's just my take reading your post. It's my guess that although his mental health issues contribute to using to numb the pain, they aren't the reason for his verbal abuse.
I agree with Marle...time to ignore calls and texts...If you keep letting him say these things to you and upset you, his disease has won..It's pulled you down with him. Love the person, hate the addiction. You can't save him from the disease, but you can save yourself. I hurt for how much you are hurting.
Linda, his words are not him...your son is in there somewhere, but until he finds his own way, please don't let his disease control you too. Sounds like it is time for you and Mr Book to take some time together...go out to dinner or watch a movie and eat popcorn...Snuggle up and comfort each other. The only rule being no talk of AS. Sound like a plan?
Oh, and about the world being a scary place...I find I have to stop myself from going there. Ihave to look for the beauty in my own life and do what I can to make my little spot in the universe one of love, peace and compassion. When I start thinking about the world as a whole and dark things that happen, I can get overwhelmed and loose sight of the fact that I can make a difference; even when it is just a teenie tiny difference. I think all our teenie tinies add up to a huge difference
Love you, Linda. Prayers for all of you.
Don't give up hope, in open NA meetings I hear sharing about the deepest darkest H*ll addicts have reached before they found the light...And now they are on a wonderful road with beauty and peace in their lives.
I know that it is easy to think that when our kids stop using heroin, things can't be too bad, but I found I saw more mean and ugly behavior with drinking or coke or crack than heroin. You've mentioned before that he drinks pretty heavily; he has substitued one addiction for another. I think the disease really rears up when it is being denied...And you are not buying into the manipulation and abuse. His disease is furious right now. Well, that's just my take reading your post. It's my guess that although his mental health issues contribute to using to numb the pain, they aren't the reason for his verbal abuse.
I agree with Marle...time to ignore calls and texts...If you keep letting him say these things to you and upset you, his disease has won..It's pulled you down with him. Love the person, hate the addiction. You can't save him from the disease, but you can save yourself. I hurt for how much you are hurting.
Linda, his words are not him...your son is in there somewhere, but until he finds his own way, please don't let his disease control you too. Sounds like it is time for you and Mr Book to take some time together...go out to dinner or watch a movie and eat popcorn...Snuggle up and comfort each other. The only rule being no talk of AS. Sound like a plan?
Oh, and about the world being a scary place...I find I have to stop myself from going there. Ihave to look for the beauty in my own life and do what I can to make my little spot in the universe one of love, peace and compassion. When I start thinking about the world as a whole and dark things that happen, I can get overwhelmed and loose sight of the fact that I can make a difference; even when it is just a teenie tiny difference. I think all our teenie tinies add up to a huge difference
Love you, Linda. Prayers for all of you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
You are stressed, plain and simple. You are not losing your mind. It is just preoccupied with your son's problems. Even if your son has a mental illness that is no excuse for him treating you the way he is. The issues belong to him. He is the one that needs to deal with them. You have just allowed him to dump on you for too long. I know you love him, I know you are afraid that if you stop taking his calls that he will disappear from your life, but I have found the opposite to be true with my daughter. When I started to not accept the bad behavior, she did stop calling for quite some time. But when she called again and came to visit she treated me with respect. My daughter does not dump her problems on me daily. The last time she dumped on me she apologized and told me thank you for listening to her because she needed someone to talk to. I did not let myself be caught up in her problems or the solution. I just listened and then I went back to my life. An occasional call for a shoulder to cry on is part of being a mother. An everyday call for you to fix him is not good for you or for him. Set those boundaries now. Maybe you won't hear from him for a while, but that will give you time to put the focus back on you. You only have one life and since none of us know how long we will be here, it really is your responsibility to make sure that your life is lived to the best of your ability. Being a mother is not synonymous with suffering Hugs, Marle
Hugs, Marle
Get Caught Reading
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Thank you both for understanding and knowing what I refuse to see.
I don't know how much he drinks or smokes pot. Can't be too much. They don't have the friggin' money. That's why I won't give him anymore. I don't know what it's gonna be used for. I know paying their electric bill was wrong.
I'm just afraid that if they do get evicted, which is gonna happen, it's just a matter of time, that he will once again want to "stay" with us for a while. I will not allow that. Especially now that he's been so mean to me.
There was a time that this mom would do anything to help her struggling son.
Not now. Some would say I'm wrong in that respect, but f'em. They've never walked in my shoes. They have no idea what I've done for my son's sake.
Lord, I've done things for him that no parent should do for their addicted child. Pawned my own jewelry. Given him money, knowing where it was going.
Driven him to score. My God! I can't forgive myself for some of the things that Addiction has brought me to do. I hate myself for it, when I think back.
Then, when I did send him to jail for robbery, what did I do? Allowed him back into my home. Time after time, I've tried to save him. I have got to save me now. Before...
Sorry, I sure do wish I could be funny right now. lol
Humor saves me, ya know? I was watching Comedy Central last night after the sobbing over Intervention was finished. How messed up is that?
Crying my eyes out, then looking for a laugh? I feel like I'm losin' it, girls.
You all are the only ones to get me outta this funk today.
Speaking of funk, has anyone ever heard from Funkzter? I hate that people are going in and outta my life and I can't control it. lol
Thanks for stickin' around with me. Without sr....
I love you guys.
I don't know how much he drinks or smokes pot. Can't be too much. They don't have the friggin' money. That's why I won't give him anymore. I don't know what it's gonna be used for. I know paying their electric bill was wrong.
I'm just afraid that if they do get evicted, which is gonna happen, it's just a matter of time, that he will once again want to "stay" with us for a while. I will not allow that. Especially now that he's been so mean to me.
There was a time that this mom would do anything to help her struggling son.
Not now. Some would say I'm wrong in that respect, but f'em. They've never walked in my shoes. They have no idea what I've done for my son's sake.
Lord, I've done things for him that no parent should do for their addicted child. Pawned my own jewelry. Given him money, knowing where it was going.
Driven him to score. My God! I can't forgive myself for some of the things that Addiction has brought me to do. I hate myself for it, when I think back.
Then, when I did send him to jail for robbery, what did I do? Allowed him back into my home. Time after time, I've tried to save him. I have got to save me now. Before...
Sorry, I sure do wish I could be funny right now. lol
Humor saves me, ya know? I was watching Comedy Central last night after the sobbing over Intervention was finished. How messed up is that?
Crying my eyes out, then looking for a laugh? I feel like I'm losin' it, girls.
You all are the only ones to get me outta this funk today.
Speaking of funk, has anyone ever heard from Funkzter? I hate that people are going in and outta my life and I can't control it. lol
Thanks for stickin' around with me. Without sr....
I love you guys.
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
being the mother of an addict I understand absolutely everything you say and do. I've been there, I am there and I'll be there in the same situation. Please know that you are not the only mom that has to deal with this and you are not being singled out by your addict. I will pray for you to have less stress and to keep up the good work with your recovery.
<<<<<<<<hugs and prayers>>>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<hugs and prayers>>>>>>>>>>>>
Get Caught Reading
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Thanks alot, rahsue.
I appreciate your support and prayers. Back atcha, with hugs included.
I gotta go. I'm going to JCPenny's for bras.
I have 5 bras and 2 of them have hugh wires hanging out and cutting into my boob. lol
I hate shopping for bras and undies. It reminds me how much "bigger" I'm getting in my old age. lol
Gotta have that support, ya know?
Talk to ya'll later.
Love,
Linda
I appreciate your support and prayers. Back atcha, with hugs included.
I gotta go. I'm going to JCPenny's for bras.
I have 5 bras and 2 of them have hugh wires hanging out and cutting into my boob. lol
I hate shopping for bras and undies. It reminds me how much "bigger" I'm getting in my old age. lol
Gotta have that support, ya know?
Talk to ya'll later.
Love,
Linda
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
