marle

NO MORE TEXT MESSAGING!!!! Lots of misunderstandings involved with it and too easy for the addict to hide behind. That is my new boundary and new resolution for 2008. Hugs, Marle

mooselips

Good for you Marle!

Done_With_It

Good Boundary!

Done_With_It

lol, Yup..... I hide behind anything I can when I don't want my Mom to know I'm not in Perfect shape... or anyone for that matter...

(My therapist used to not do the email thing like a lot of therapist do these days because she said it's too easy to hide behind.)

rayofhope

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I REMEMBER THE DAYS I USED TO PRAY FOR AT LEAST A TEXT BUT NOT ANY MORE!!!! I AM HOLDING HIM ACCOUNTABLE I STOPPED LOWERING MY BAR TO TO MEET HIM AND RAISED IT FOR MY SANITY. OF COURSE NOW I HAVE TO GET BEHIND A NEW STRATEGY FOR HIS DRINKING.... WELL GOOD LUCK:ghug3

Wascally Wabbit

LOL, text messaging is one thing I never fell for. I always said if someone wants to get hold of me, they can call!
I see now that you are right about it too. It is too easy for someone to hide behind it, and the confusion it might cause.

Nikki2003

I have a hard enough time understanding some of the email lingo that pops up from time to time let alone trying to figure out what all the texting lingo is suppose to mean. Nope never had one of those confounded things and never plan too. And if anyone buys one for my kids I will scream. lol
Nikki

hope213

good boundry, good work,marle

BBD

Good for you merle~~~now its time for me to come up with some bountries...This is going to be quite the year! Hugs, Bonnie

caileesnana

I agree 100%. This last go round she would text lies after lies. I asked her, why test when you can call???? I forgot what lie she told, but I won't fall for it again!

love ya,
susan

Lobo

Sounds like a good plan to me. I blocked all texting on my phone a long time ago when I got random text messages from who knows who saying who knows what to me who doesn't understand the first thing about texting. I was charged a a signifigant amount by my cell phone provider. It took a lot of hassle to get things straightened out and it was finally taken off of my bill and a block put on. My RAD doesn't even have a cell phone. I asked her why she doesn't buy herself a phone when she gets paid and she said she has no desire to have one. That is fine with me. My sons grew up without cell phones and texting and they did fine. They are in their thirties and they didn't have all of that technology when they were young. I think they were better off for it.

I think there is something to be said for being able to read someone better by hearing their voice.

greeteachday

Great boundary...I never quite "got" text messaging...lucky me. When I got a cell 6 or 7 years ago, text wasn't really around. Believe it or not, since all I wanted was the ability to make a call when needed, i never upgraded my phone (as much as I am a computer geek, I hate tv's, dvds, remote controls, etc and could never program one, lol)
So my dinosaur of a phone has no text messaging, and I was oh so glad when my kids were active in their addictions. I have enough trouble with email "tone"...texting just messes with one's head too often, in my opinion anyway.

So I think, since you have had trouble with it, your boundary is a great one for you Marle. Love, hugs and prayers.

SoberAndy

I have the opposite take on this. My 19 year old addict step-daughter resented it when her mom would call her too often and wouldn't answer. I got better results when I texted her. I recall one night when we didn't know where she was. I texted her and she finally responded. I got her to go to her treatment center where she agreed to go back to rehab - where she has been for the last six weeks.

There's another advantage. It's tougher for them to emotionally manipulate YOU by text message. You can think out your responses and stay focused instead of responding to that kind of BS.

Yeah, they might lie when you text. They might lie when you call, so what's the difference? In the end, the important thing is to remember the phone is not a remote control. You can't control them with it.

SoberAndy

P.S. I never texted anyone before. It was another parent in our parent group who told us that most kids today use text messaging far more than they use phone calls. When his company sends out job offers, they send a text message to make sure that young people get the message! That made me realize I might be able to establish a better report with my step-daughter that way than by calling. She doesn't have a cell phone in rehab, but before that I would just send little supportive messages everyday. It helped our relationship.

laurie6781

Oh Marle, GOOD FOR YOU.

WHAT GROWTH!!!!!!

I am so proud of you. You give so many HOPE. Your ES&H is one of the 'highlights' of these threads!!!!!

Love and hugs,

Impurrfect

((Marle))

Good for you! I have never texted anyone and tell them not to text me. I'm too lazy to sit there and type something out on my phone. I can see why some people do it, but I know it is too easy to lie behind a text. Most mom's can "hear" a lie by their child's voice.

Sounds like you are doing great!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

sleepygoat

I never got into the texting thing, so I really have no experience with this. But you need to trust your gut with this and do what it tells you.

kj21

My ex texts with me and the kids. For me it keeps us seperated while not totally shutting the door in his face so to speak. For instance he likes to say good night each night, but I don't want to talk and have a conversation with him about my day. so he texts goodnight and I reply. For now it works. but we all have to find that happy meduim for our relatinships with our addicts.

holdingouthope

Excellent boundary! When my RAH texts me, I know he's lying about something.

I aspire to be like you - I am not strong enough to enforce that one.