Language of Letting Go - January 12
 

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Finding Balance

The goal of recovery is balance - that precious middle ground.

Many of us have gone from one extreme to another: years of taking care of everyone but ourselves, followed by a time of refusing to focus on anyone's needs but our own.

We may have spent years refusing to identify, feel, and deal with our feelings, followed by a period of absolute obsession with every trace of emotional energy that passes through our body.

We may succumb to powerlessness, helplessness, and victimization, then we swing to the other extreme by aggressively wielding power over those around us.

We can learn to give to others while taking responsibility for ourselves. We can learn to take care of our feelings, as well as our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. We can nurture the quiet confidence of owning our power as equals in our relationships with others.

The goal of recovery is balance, but sometimes we get there by going to extremes.

Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the peaks and valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Balance is important for me and the minute I feel flustered or "off", I know I need to do work to regain my footing.

I first discovered this when I realized that I could not live in my son's addiction and my recovery at the same time. It just wasn't possible. It was like trying to live in the problem and in the solution at the same time. Crash!

The more I stayed focused on my and worked my own program, the better my balance became and my life began to be worth living again.

Hugs

Thanks Ann. If I were to draw a circle and divide it proportionally to the different areas of my life, it would look way out of balance in some areas. I'm working now on creating a closer relationship with my HP, increasing that focus seems to be what I need today.

The statement above about sometimes needing to explore the peaks and valleys before reaching the middle ground is a helpful analogy and reminds me it's progress not perfection. One can make progress no matter where you are in the journey. Today I'm thinking I need to go easier on myself and stop negative self-talk/become aware of it.

Nea