newblue82

I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. For the last couple of days, my GF has been displaying some serious depression. She's missing me, she's still fighting with her mom, she's unemployed and she's living with an uncle that has no cable, no phone and no transportation. She says she's tired of looking at four walls all day, every day. She feels like no matter what she does nothing is working out for her and now. . .no one has heard from her in 48 hrs. She hasn't slept at her uncle's house in 48 hrs. My heart wants to believe there's a logical explanation for this sudden development but past experience has my stomach doing flips.

I think she's relapsed and she was doing so well, DAMMIT!!!!! I tried, I really did to keep her spirits up. I tried to encourage her but I guess I it wasn't enough. She stopped taking her psych-meds.

I know that if this is the case, I just don't have it in me to do this all over again. I'm tired, just thinking about it makes me tired. I can't go through it again; I won't go through it again. God help her.

hope213

detach, detach,detach,there is nothing you can do. you can not keep her spirits up.she is in charge of her life & only she can make it better. you know where she is,you know her track record. it is friday nite,call somebody or just get out & do some thing good for you. post & let us know how u are.prayers,

Hangin' In

NewBlue,

Welcome to SR.

I know that feeling of not knowing. It can drive you crazy with the thoughts of "what if" running around in your head.

You can't stay there newblue or else you'll end up as sick as your addicted gf.
I'm with hope. You cannot do a thing to help her. She has to want to help herself.

So what is it you can do? You can turn your gf over to her HP and believe that he has her right where's she supposed to be today. And if you have trouble doing that (it is very hard to do, I know), I literally picture taking my AD out of my mind, then I put her in my heart, and then I send her up to her HP (God in my book.) May sound silly, but it's how I give my AD to God daily.

Prayers for you, that you'll be able to let go and let God,
Hangin' In

mooselips

Newblue,
I hope you're wrong, but you're right, something sounds fishy here.
The solution is get to a meeting, and like Hangin' said, Let go, Let God.

Don't let the "what if's" get to you.
Your Gf has somebody with her all the time, watching out for her.


Hugs,

Ann

Sweetie, there is nothing you can do or not do that would make the outcome any different. If love could save our addicts, not one of us would be here.

Worrying won't change the outcome either and will just drain you emotionally, so maybe turn your focus to something else, anything else and try to enjoy the evening.

Hugs

newblue82

Thanks ladies. You're right; you're all right.

Her mom just called to tell me that she called her and told her she left her cell at her uncle's house on the charger. That she's been with Mr. Paul (a close family friend) and they've been doing some work for a friend of his so she can make a little extra money.

Her mom believes her but quite frankly I don't.

She and I have had a routine of calling each other 4 and 5 times a day, every day. I haven't heard from her in 48 hrs. And past experience has it that when she's been out using and has an opportunity to call someone, she'll call every one else but me. That's what she did today. She called her mom and has yet to call me.

Something's definitely fishy but I'm not going to wreck my brain over it. Like you all said right now I need to focus on me and that's what I'm going to do. Thanks again.

cece1960

(((Newblue)))
If it helps at all.
My son has struggled too, and still does I think.
But I KNOW he has it in him to do well.
I know this because I've already seen him tackle a demon (heroin), even though he was a full blown active addict.
Your GF was doing well, she can find her way back if willing.
I'll keep her in my prayers
(((Hugs)))

newblue82

Thank you, Cece1960. Your words are very encouraging and comforting.

wounded

No matter how much you support or encourage, her own happiness, satisfaction or recovery lies within herself. Don't hold yourself responsible for her actions. No matter what, you are only responsible for yourself.
Please try to remember that and prayers to you.